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Worldsport should cover US hockey

vurbano
06-02-2004, 04:05 PM
Worldsport, go save the NHL for us voom hockey fans!

According to The Hockey News, the new NHL agreement with ESPN cuts the broadcast games from 70 to 40 (down from 104 in '02). Those 40 games will only be broadcast on ESPN2 with ESPN only airing NHL hockey in the playoffs.

ABC will be dropping the NHL, citing bad ratings. NBC is picking up the contract, showing only seven regular season games on Saturday afternoons beginning in January, plus six playoff games and games 3-7 of the Stanley Cup. The NHL gave away the farm to both NBC and ESPN, offering a no-rights-fee, 100 percent revenue sharing plan with NBC (similar to the one NBC has with Arena Football), and a deal with ESPN that drops from a $120 million a year agreement to a $60 million per one.

If ever their was a chance to get HD hockey on Voom, here it is. Why not cover the sport that shows off HD the most? Certainly hockey will be almost dead by the end of 2005 and no one will want it, and ready for limited distribution by Voom. WHy not take advantage of the rotting corpse?

Sean Mota
06-02-2004, 04:50 PM
I agree...This is a good opportunity to take on NHL. You might to change to commercials on WorldSport.

Odys
06-02-2004, 05:34 PM
Rotting corpses should be buried, not put on display. The reason hockey tanks on TV is because it is no doubt the least TV-friendly sport. On the other hand, live hockey is probably the most exciting. I love all of the soccer currently on Worldsport. I wouldn't watch a single hockey game on TV and judging by the ratings, I'm not alone.

Mr. Biggles
06-02-2004, 06:48 PM
I love hockey and live in a hockey crazed town...but, the facts are that it has less of a tv audience than professional bowling. Sad I know, but a reality.

PBHDinSD
06-02-2004, 06:48 PM
How about the World Cup Hockey this summer?

World Sport -> World cup Hockey

PBHDinSD
06-02-2004, 06:53 PM
Rotting corpses should be buried, not put on display. The reason hockey tanks on TV is because it is no doubt the least TV-friendly sport. On the other hand, live hockey is probably the most exciting. I love all of the soccer currently on Worldsport. I wouldn't watch a single hockey game on TV and judging by the ratings, I'm not alone.

Get a big screen TV and watch it HD. For non fans of of hockey, it changes the SD TV game and their perspectively completely.

slacker9876
06-02-2004, 07:19 PM
Less of an audience than the PBA ... let's be real. Are you for real? Do you have evidence?

The real problem I have noted across multiple carriers the blackout restrictions. On ESPN & HDNET there were a total of 21 Colorado Avalanche games broadcast this year (I am pretty sure about the number) I received 1, since I live in Colorado and I am an Avalanche fan this really ticked me off! So most of the games I wanted to see were not available in my market. If you blackout what I watch ... how can I watch it?

Lastly, with the owner lock-out pending, and most likely occurring, there will not be much if any of a 2004-2005 season. I'll most likely be suicidal during this time frame ... damn Gary Bettman!!!

vurbano
06-02-2004, 07:25 PM
I think it would be a great opportunity, especially if it rebounded while voom had it. Imagine having a channel that other providers would want. Or a sport that people wanted to watch and could only get it here. HD hockey looks great in HD, sucks in sd, great live. See a pattern here? great game, great in HD but people with sd sets dont care for it. Perfect fit.

babyj
06-02-2004, 07:28 PM
haha hockey. plz. theres a good reason why abc and espn are reducing coverage. hahah. no offense anyone. dont hate the player..hate the game!

squicken
06-02-2004, 07:44 PM
I don't know if you guys are old enough to remeber this, but 15 years ago ESPN showed baseball Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday, and NBC had the game of the week on Saturday afternoon. Wednesday and Friday ESPN showed 2 games. This was way before even ESPN 2. Then baseball started to decline. Network coverage really slowed, and ESPN cut way back on the number of games.

Look at baseball now. Fox showed a game in APRIL. ESPN probably does 15 games a week between ESPN & ESPN 2. The sport came back. Hockey can come back. Bettman has always said that HD would save the game. Whenever the lockout ends, there should be fewer teams and lower salaries, and Hockey can get back to where it was before runaway expansion. Not as big as before, but clearly the 4th biggest sport.

vurbano
06-02-2004, 07:50 PM
haha hockey. plz. theres a good reason why abc and espn are reducing coverage. hahah. no offense anyone. dont hate the player..hate the game!hahaha spanish soccer reruns???????? you think that is content? Flug tag reruns on RUSH? Paragliding? Heck thats a vacation activity not a sport. Mountain biking? O that makes my heart really race!! LMAO

Odys
06-02-2004, 07:57 PM
Get a big screen TV and watch it HD. For non fans of of hockey, it changes the SD TV game and their perspectively completely.

Saw the the reruns of the Olympic hockey games just the other day on my widescreen on HD. Sorry, still not impressed. I enjoyed the hell out of the speed skating though.

Anyone listen to Jim Rome yesterday? He was talking about how a recent playoff hockey game placed 19th in the CABLE ratings. He spent quite a bit of time speculating which shows might have beat it out, which was pretty funny. 19th on cable is pathetic, no matter how you look at it.

vurbano
06-02-2004, 07:58 PM
I love hockey and live in a hockey crazed town...but, the facts are that it has less of a tv audience than professional bowling. Sad I know, but a reality. Well at 20,000 or so subs they could maintain their viewership? I cant imagine any other channel putting the games in HD?

vurbano
06-02-2004, 08:03 PM
Saw the the reruns of the Olympic hockey games just the other day on my widescreen on HD. Sorry, still not impressed. I enjoyed the hell out of the speed skating though.

Anyone listen to Jim Rome yesterday? He was talking about how a recent playoff hockey game placed 19th in the CABLE ratings. He spent quite a bit of time speculating which shows might have beat it out, which was pretty funny. 19th on cable is pathetic, no matter how you look at it.
see any blood? any violent checks? any fights? nope its the olympics. The 19th rating is exactly why voom should be looking at it. you will never have MLB, or NFL on voom exclusives, the NHL is looking like a candidate if they could talk them into it. AS for Jim Rome he said the other day that Kobe was a better player than MJ. The moron.

ZeitGeist
06-02-2004, 09:08 PM
Sincerely intended in the spirit of good nature and humor with absolutely no ill will or malice I present as a service to the satelliteguys Voom forum community:

The typical Vurbano programming post template

POST TITLES

(Insert Voom exclusive channel) should show more (insert name of a sport, event, or movie)

note - while this is perhaps the most typical vurbano style, the template user should not feel constrained to only format the title entry in this way. It is possible to state the issue in a variety of styles that still express the same basic opinion. For example,

variation 1

More (name of sport, event, movie) on (name of Voom exclusive channel)

variation 2

I'm sick of all the (insert name of broadcasting currently shown on voom exclusive channel) on (insert voom exclusive channel name). How about some (sport, event, movie)

variation 3

(insert name of voom exclusive) is a waste of bandwidth.

BODY OF MESSAGE

note - the vurbano message is generally short and to the point but there are some key rules and stylistic elements that need to be followed:

1. No person subscribing to Voom really wants to see anything except american sports except to occasionally check out PQ on the channel.
2. No Voom exclusive, with the possible exception of Monsters HD, is of much value and the HD bandwidth the channel consumes (this is really key you need to use the terms "bandwidth" and "waste of bandwidth" a few times) is really being wasted
3. Never mention or, in follow-up posting in the thread, acknowledge the fact there really isn't any other use for the "wasted" bandwidth
3. The proposed improved broadcasting content should have it's broadcasting rights already owned by another channel which currently shows the content
4. Never acknowledge the fact that another broadcaster owns this content, this is immaterial to the point and introduces into the thread the dangerous idea of reality and possibilty destroying the childlike fantasy charm of the vurbano post. Remember, it's about what the channel OUGHT to show, not the pesky reality of what it can obtain and afford to show.
5. When closing out the post, issue a prophetic doom of failure that will occur if the powers to be at Voom fails to do exactly as you instruct them. Once again, reality is no excuse. Voom must follow what is being proscribed to the letter or the Voom exlusive channel will be a failure and quite possibly Voom itself will completely fail .

SPECIAL ADDENDUM

vurbano posts offer such a vast amount of forum fun as long as you follow the guidelines but there are some special instances in which the person seeking to make a vurbano post may not know what is the right thing to do. The following is a special question and answer format to help the aspiring vurbano poster

Q - What should I do if someone, like a producer or programmer or content creator from one of the Voom exclusives shows up in the forum making posts?

A - the vurbano poster immediately issues a post informing/asking the individual these four things:
1. I think your channel sucks
2. Everyone thinks your channel sucks
3. Do you realize how bad your channel sucks
4. Why don't they show more American sports on WorldSport? It's never going to be successful until they get some american sports.

In follow-up posts, if someone calls you out as rude make sure to correct that person's ill informed opinion by instructing him that your just telling the truth and the Voom guy deserves to know the truth that his work and the work of his colleagues suck. In essence, it's tough love and good for the guy to find out now so that his art won't go on wasting valuable HD bandwidth that could be used to show more american sports

Q I really want to be succesful at my vurbano posts but something is just missing. I ask my wife and friends to read over them and they agree that it just doesn't seem right but no one can help me fix it. Is it just hopeless?

A No more hopeless than Voom getting INHD before the month is out - and you know they really need it otherwise people are going to start going back to DirectTV. Anyway, what most first-time vurbano posters really fail to get is that combination of fantasy and pugnaciousness. You've really got to be in the face of the other posters with the idea that your conception of what the particular Voom exclusive channel should be, despite how inconceivably impossible that conception really is, is not merely the best way that channel could be programmed it's the ONLY way that channel can be programmed for Voom, and most likely Rainbow Communications, not to fail. Once you get that, it's all down hill

Q I'm kinda bummed out and maybe you can help even though this isn't a typical Vurbano voom exclusive channel post question. I really think HDNet and INHD ought to be on Voom but it just seems like there are too many obstables and that wont happen for a long time. What can i do?

A Hey now, do you think Vurbano lets silly things like reality get in the way of adding new channel to Voom? Have you not been paying attention? Maybe you just lack imagination, so let me tell you something. Voom should have those channels. They should have added them last week even before June 1st. And if Voom is serious and doesn't want to go out of business it should add those channels retroactively right away so that I had my INHD and HDNet yesterday. They better realize that people will go back to Direct and Dish if they don't go back and put those on yesterday. Let's get real, they have American sports on those channels. What people want to see. No one wants to watch some cruddy 4 star french movie on cinema 2 when HDNet is showing some of it's exclusive coverage of the American Lacrosse League. WorldSport ought to show some of that. You can't get more American than Lacrosse - the indians played it and they were the native Americans so Lacrosse is so American that it's almost quintessentially American. Well, except for the name which is Fren....but it doesn't matter, Lacrosse is American and it's a sport and if that doesn't spell WorldSport what does? Someone at Voom better wiseup or they are going to go bye-bye. That channel better be there tomorrow or it's all over.

Q Hey, I kind of get it now. So that's how it's done?

A. Ummm...yeah. Uhhh..who are you?

Q I'm the first guy that asked a question

A. oh, OH YEAH..that dude. Yeah, you see now? It's pretty cool, isn't it?

Q Yeah, it just makes no sense but it's really kinda belligerent about it.

A. There you go, you said it better than I did - belligerent nonsense

Q I'm still kinda bummed

A. I thought you were stoked dude..what's going on is the lithium fluctuating or something?

Q No..nothing like that. I'm the second guy

A Ok, yeah, I guess I showed have given you guys more distinctive names than Q and Q

Q what's that?

Q yeah, I think so

Q you think so? what are you talking about?

Q he was talking about how he should have given us better names

Q what guy was? names?

Q that dude..the dude over there...Dude, you here me

Q yeah, I'm sitting here talking to you

Q no, not you. The dude over there. I don't remember his name

Q the guy answering the questions you mean?

Q yeah, the vurbano dude

Q I don't think that guy is right in the head

Q Vurbano?

Q No, the other guy

Q the answer guy, you mean...what's wrong with him?

Q well, I mean...well, look at this

Q yeah, this is kinda weird, I grant you that

Q kinda weird? I mean the Vurbano thing was kinda funny and all but where are we going with all this?

Q Going? are we going somewhere? Hey Dude..Vurbano template dude, are we going somewhere?

Q Where did he go anyway?

Q I don't have any idea but I'm getting tired of this.

Q Yeah, so am I. Let's go, should we?

Q Cool. Dude, Hey Vurbano template dude..we are going now. Later?










A hey, where did everyone go?

babyj
06-02-2004, 09:34 PM
hahaha spanish soccer reruns???????? you think that is content? Flug tag reruns on RUSH? Paragliding? Heck thats a vacation activity not a sport. Mountain biking? O that makes my heart really race!! LMAO

oh trust me..its not like i want to see any of that either...

i know most of you guys here are older adults..and you guys will find something to watch on voom's exlusives. but as a colleger i will tell you..i havent seen one thing i liked bout voom's exclusives. my parents don't watch voom. my dad watches worldsport for the soccer game. thats it. they cable regular cable like cnn and fox.

rang1995
06-02-2004, 09:41 PM
Hockey fans may not be many on TV, but they outdraw the NBA live in most cities and have excellent demographics...would be a huge plus for voom since they seem to be demographic consience.(gallery,ultra etc)

babyj
06-02-2004, 11:22 PM
REALLY LONG POST

haha i see someone has a lot of free time..and no life. hey you should check out the moov channel! :D

CraziFuzzy
06-03-2004, 01:08 AM
hehe... he said hockey.. HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA......

seriously though, does anyone south of Minnesota actually watch this stuff? Maybe I'm not Canadian enough to find the point... hmmm...

vinnyv07
06-03-2004, 01:56 AM
Nobody complains much when HDNET broadcast their NHL games in beautiful HD. Im starving for new material on Worldsport. Dog racing would be a welcome change. World Cup Hockey is also a great idea. Bring on some more world sports!!

eschu97611
06-03-2004, 07:45 AM
Sincerely intended in the spirit of good nature and humor with absolutely no ill will or malice I present as a service to the satelliteguys Voom forum community:

The typical Vurbano programming post template

POST TITLES

(Insert Voom exclusive channel) should show more (insert name of a sport, event, or movie)

note - while this is perhaps the most typical vurbano style, the template user should not feel constrained to only format the title entry in this way. It is possible to state the issue in a variety of styles that still express the same basic opinion. For example,

variation 1

More (name of sport, event, movie) on (name of Voom exclusive channel)

variation 2

I'm sick of all the (insert name of broadcasting currently shown on voom exclusive channel) on (insert voom exclusive channel name). How about some (sport, event, movie)

variation 3

(insert name of voom exclusive) is a waste of bandwidth.

BODY OF MESSAGE

note - the vurbano message is generally short and to the point but there are some key rules and stylistic elements that need to be followed:

1. No person subscribing to Voom really wants to see anything except american sports except to occasionally check out PQ on the channel.
2. No Voom exclusive, with the possible exception of Monsters HD, is of much value and the HD bandwidth the channel consumes (this is really key you need to use the terms "bandwidth" and "waste of bandwidth" a few times) is really being wasted
3. Never mention or, in follow-up posting in the thread, acknowledge the fact there really isn't any other use for the "wasted" bandwidth
3. The proposed improved broadcasting content should have it's broadcasting rights already owned by another channel which currently shows the content
4. Never acknowledge the fact that another broadcaster owns this content, this is immaterial to the point and introduces into the thread the dangerous idea of reality and possibilty destroying the childlike fantasy charm of the vurbano post. Remember, it's about what the channel OUGHT to show, not the pesky reality of what it can obtain and afford to show.
5. When closing out the post, issue a prophetic doom of failure that will occur if the powers to be at Voom fails to do exactly as you instruct them. Once again, reality is no excuse. Voom must follow what is being proscribed to the letter or the Voom exlusive channel will be a failure and quite possibly Voom itself will completely fail .

SPECIAL ADDENDUM

vurbano posts offer such a vast amount of forum fun as long as you follow the guidelines but there are some special instances in which the person seeking to make a vurbano post may not know what is the right thing to do. The following is a special question and answer format to help the aspiring vurbano poster

Q - What should I do if someone, like a producer or programmer or content creator from one of the Voom exclusives shows up in the forum making posts?

A - the vurbano poster immediately issues a post informing/asking the individual these four things:
1. I think your channel sucks
2. Everyone thinks your channel sucks
3. Do you realize how bad your channel sucks
4. Why don't they show more American sports on WorldSport? It's never going to be successful until they get some american sports.

In follow-up posts, if someone calls you out as rude make sure to correct that person's ill informed opinion by instructing him that your just telling the truth and the Voom guy deserves to know the truth that his work and the work of his colleagues suck. In essence, it's tough love and good for the guy to find out now so that his art won't go on wasting valuable HD bandwidth that could be used to show more american sports

Q I really want to be succesful at my vurbano posts but something is just missing. I ask my wife and friends to read over them and they agree that it just doesn't seem right but no one can help me fix it. Is it just hopeless?

A No more hopeless than Voom getting INHD before the month is out - and you know they really need it otherwise people are going to start going back to DirectTV. Anyway, what most first-time vurbano posters really fail to get is that combination of fantasy and pugnaciousness. You've really got to be in the face of the other posters with the idea that your conception of what the particular Voom exclusive channel should be, despite how inconceivably impossible that conception really is, is not merely the best way that channel could be programmed it's the ONLY way that channel can be programmed for Voom, and most likely Rainbow Communications, not to fail. Once you get that, it's all down hill

Q I'm kinda bummed out and maybe you can help even though this isn't a typical Vurbano voom exclusive channel post question. I really think HDNet and INHD ought to be on Voom but it just seems like there are too many obstables and that wont happen for a long time. What can i do?

A Hey now, do you think Vurbano lets silly things like reality get in the way of adding new channel to Voom? Have you not been paying attention? Maybe you just lack imagination, so let me tell you something. Voom should have those channels. They should have added them last week even before June 1st. And if Voom is serious and doesn't want to go out of business it should add those channels retroactively right away so that I had my INHD and HDNet yesterday. They better realize that people will go back to Direct and Dish if they don't go back and put those on yesterday. Let's get real, they have American sports on those channels. What people want to see. No one wants to watch some cruddy 4 star french movie on cinema 2 when HDNet is showing some of it's exclusive coverage of the American Lacrosse League. WorldSport ought to show some of that. You can't get more American than Lacrosse - the indians played it and they were the native Americans so Lacrosse is so American that it's almost quintessentially American. Well, except for the name which is Fren....but it doesn't matter, Lacrosse is American and it's a sport and if that doesn't spell WorldSport what does? Someone at Voom better wiseup or they are going to go bye-bye. That channel better be there tomorrow or it's all over.

Q Hey, I kind of get it now. So that's how it's done?

A. Ummm...yeah. Uhhh..who are you?

Q I'm the first guy that asked a question

A. oh, OH YEAH..that dude. Yeah, you see now? It's pretty cool, isn't it?

Q Yeah, it just makes no sense but it's really kinda belligerent about it.

A. There you go, you said it better than I did - belligerent nonsense

Q I'm still kinda bummed

A. I thought you were stoked dude..what's going on is the lithium fluctuating or something?

Q No..nothing like that. I'm the second guy

A Ok, yeah, I guess I showed have given you guys more distinctive names than Q and Q

Q what's that?

Q yeah, I think so

Q you think so? what are you talking about?

Q he was talking about how he should have given us better names

Q what guy was? names?

Q that dude..the dude over there...Dude, you here me

Q yeah, I'm sitting here talking to you

Q no, not you. The dude over there. I don't remember his name

Q the guy answering the questions you mean?

Q yeah, the vurbano dude

Q I don't think that guy is right in the head

Q Vurbano?

Q No, the other guy

Q the answer guy, you mean...what's wrong with him?

Q well, I mean...well, look at this

Q yeah, this is kinda weird, I grant you that

Q kinda weird? I mean the Vurbano thing was kinda funny and all but where are we going with all this?

Q Going? are we going somewhere? Hey Dude..Vurbano template dude, are we going somewhere?

Q Where did he go anyway?

Q I don't have any idea but I'm getting tired of this.

Q Yeah, so am I. Let's go, should we?

Q Cool. Dude, Hey Vurbano template dude..we are going now. Later?










A hey, where did everyone go?Your reply V-man?????-lol

vurbano
06-03-2004, 07:56 AM
Nobody complains much when HDNET broadcast their NHL games in beautiful HD. Im starving for new material on Worldsport. Dog racing would be a welcome change. World Cup Hockey is also a great idea. Bring on some more world sports!!
Amen to that! O and Dolan? The United States of America is considered part of the world and that is where your consumers live, just thought id remind you if your listening?

vurbano
06-03-2004, 08:05 AM
Your reply V-man?????-lol
Prozac prescription run out?

theph0xx
06-03-2004, 04:49 PM
I'm not even a hockey fan at all, but I would absolutely love to see the NHL on Voom. Honestly, if they were able to grab a bunch of games I really think it would draw new subs. New subs = more money for Rainbow. More money = better content. Better Content = More Subs & More Enjoyment! Its all circular!

vurbano
06-03-2004, 06:38 PM
I'm not even a hockey fan at all, but I would absolutely love to see the NHL on Voom. Honestly, if they were able to grab a bunch of games I really think it would draw new subs. New subs = more money for Rainbow. More money = better content. Better Content = More Subs & More Enjoyment! Its all circular!
Absolutely right, and the way hockey is dying, there may come a time when voom could grab it.:D

theph0xx
06-03-2004, 06:46 PM
Absolutely right, and the way hockey is dying, there may come a time when voom could grab it.:D

Yup, there may come a time when Voom could grab it, and start to establish a relationship with the NHL as a major provider of their league. More and more it seems as though baseball is back in a big way after everyone writing it off after the strike shortened season. The NHL is not going to go under, but they do need some restructuring, and they'll be back again. Its not like there is another sport to take over the hearts and minds of American sports fans #4 position (preceded by NFL, NBA, MLB). In this low point it would be good for Voom to try and get in on the ground floor. BUY LOW SELL HIGH.

neo0285
06-03-2004, 07:53 PM
Sincerely intended in the spirit of good nature and humor with absolutely no ill will or malice I present as a service to the satelliteguys Voom forum community:

The typical Vurbano programming post template

POST TITLES

(Insert Voom exclusive channel) should show more (insert name of a sport, event, or movie)

note - while this is perhaps the most typical vurbano style, the template user should not feel constrained to only format the title entry in this way. It is possible to state the issue in a variety of styles that still express the same basic opinion. For example,

variation 1

More (name of sport, event, movie) on (name of Voom exclusive channel)

variation 2

I'm sick of all the (insert name of broadcasting currently shown on voom exclusive channel) on (insert voom exclusive channel name). How about some (sport, event, movie)

variation 3

(insert name of voom exclusive) is a waste of bandwidth.

BODY OF MESSAGE

note - the vurbano message is generally short and to the point but there are some key rules and stylistic elements that need to be followed:

1. No person subscribing to Voom really wants to see anything except american sports except to occasionally check out PQ on the channel.
2. No Voom exclusive, with the possible exception of Monsters HD, is of much value and the HD bandwidth the channel consumes (this is really key you need to use the terms "bandwidth" and "waste of bandwidth" a few times) is really being wasted
3. Never mention or, in follow-up posting in the thread, acknowledge the fact there really isn't any other use for the "wasted" bandwidth
3. The proposed improved broadcasting content should have it's broadcasting rights already owned by another channel which currently shows the content
4. Never acknowledge the fact that another broadcaster owns this content, this is immaterial to the point and introduces into the thread the dangerous idea of reality and possibilty destroying the childlike fantasy charm of the vurbano post. Remember, it's about what the channel OUGHT to show, not the pesky reality of what it can obtain and afford to show.
5. When closing out the post, issue a prophetic doom of failure that will occur if the powers to be at Voom fails to do exactly as you instruct them. Once again, reality is no excuse. Voom must follow what is being proscribed to the letter or the Voom exlusive channel will be a failure and quite possibly Voom itself will completely fail .

SPECIAL ADDENDUM

vurbano posts offer such a vast amount of forum fun as long as you follow the guidelines but there are some special instances in which the person seeking to make a vurbano post may not know what is the right thing to do. The following is a special question and answer format to help the aspiring vurbano poster

Q - What should I do if someone, like a producer or programmer or content creator from one of the Voom exclusives shows up in the forum making posts?

A - the vurbano poster immediately issues a post informing/asking the individual these four things:
1. I think your channel sucks
2. Everyone thinks your channel sucks
3. Do you realize how bad your channel sucks
4. Why don't they show more American sports on WorldSport? It's never going to be successful until they get some american sports.

In follow-up posts, if someone calls you out as rude make sure to correct that person's ill informed opinion by instructing him that your just telling the truth and the Voom guy deserves to know the truth that his work and the work of his colleagues suck. In essence, it's tough love and good for the guy to find out now so that his art won't go on wasting valuable HD bandwidth that could be used to show more american sports

Q I really want to be succesful at my vurbano posts but something is just missing. I ask my wife and friends to read over them and they agree that it just doesn't seem right but no one can help me fix it. Is it just hopeless?

A No more hopeless than Voom getting INHD before the month is out - and you know they really need it otherwise people are going to start going back to DirectTV. Anyway, what most first-time vurbano posters really fail to get is that combination of fantasy and pugnaciousness. You've really got to be in the face of the other posters with the idea that your conception of what the particular Voom exclusive channel should be, despite how inconceivably impossible that conception really is, is not merely the best way that channel could be programmed it's the ONLY way that channel can be programmed for Voom, and most likely Rainbow Communications, not to fail. Once you get that, it's all down hill

Q I'm kinda bummed out and maybe you can help even though this isn't a typical Vurbano voom exclusive channel post question. I really think HDNet and INHD ought to be on Voom but it just seems like there are too many obstables and that wont happen for a long time. What can i do?

A Hey now, do you think Vurbano lets silly things like reality get in the way of adding new channel to Voom? Have you not been paying attention? Maybe you just lack imagination, so let me tell you something. Voom should have those channels. They should have added them last week even before June 1st. And if Voom is serious and doesn't want to go out of business it should add those channels retroactively right away so that I had my INHD and HDNet yesterday. They better realize that people will go back to Direct and Dish if they don't go back and put those on yesterday. Let's get real, they have American sports on those channels. What people want to see. No one wants to watch some cruddy 4 star french movie on cinema 2 when HDNet is showing some of it's exclusive coverage of the American Lacrosse League. WorldSport ought to show some of that. You can't get more American than Lacrosse - the indians played it and they were the native Americans so Lacrosse is so American that it's almost quintessentially American. Well, except for the name which is Fren....but it doesn't matter, Lacrosse is American and it's a sport and if that doesn't spell WorldSport what does? Someone at Voom better wiseup or they are going to go bye-bye. That channel better be there tomorrow or it's all over.

Q Hey, I kind of get it now. So that's how it's done?

A. Ummm...yeah. Uhhh..who are you?

Q I'm the first guy that asked a question

A. oh, OH YEAH..that dude. Yeah, you see now? It's pretty cool, isn't it?

Q Yeah, it just makes no sense but it's really kinda belligerent about it.

A. There you go, you said it better than I did - belligerent nonsense

Q I'm still kinda bummed

A. I thought you were stoked dude..what's going on is the lithium fluctuating or something?

Q No..nothing like that. I'm the second guy

A Ok, yeah, I guess I showed have given you guys more distinctive names than Q and Q

Q what's that?

Q yeah, I think so

Q you think so? what are you talking about?

Q he was talking about how he should have given us better names

Q what guy was? names?

Q that dude..the dude over there...Dude, you here me

Q yeah, I'm sitting here talking to you

Q no, not you. The dude over there. I don't remember his name

Q the guy answering the questions you mean?

Q yeah, the vurbano dude

Q I don't think that guy is right in the head

Q Vurbano?

Q No, the other guy

Q the answer guy, you mean...what's wrong with him?

Q well, I mean...well, look at this

Q yeah, this is kinda weird, I grant you that

Q kinda weird? I mean the Vurbano thing was kinda funny and all but where are we going with all this?

Q Going? are we going somewhere? Hey Dude..Vurbano template dude, are we going somewhere?

Q Where did he go anyway?

Q I don't have any idea but I'm getting tired of this.

Q Yeah, so am I. Let's go, should we?

Q Cool. Dude, Hey Vurbano template dude..we are going now. Later?










A hey, where did everyone go?

Funniest shit i have read here yet!!! LOL and so true

eschu97611
06-03-2004, 09:31 PM
Funniest shit i have read here yet!!! LOL and so true
ohhhhh V-man-your silence is deafening-LMAO



Could it be that the V-man is speechless????? Say it ain't so Sparky-Say it ain't so-LOL

ZeitGeist
06-04-2004, 12:49 AM
Prozac prescription run out?

Naw, I was kinda in that golden moment before the morning's adderall had run out and the afternoon adderall is kicking in nice and I got kinda carried away and into hyperfocus. I do want to stress I wasn't trying to be mean spirited or start some kind of feud. I just keep running into posts of yours about WorldSport where I have opinions almost diametrically opposed to yours and I'm just trying to find a way to channel my response (or future responses) so that instead of being pissy, stuffy, combative, and full of overly opinionated self-important pronouncements (hey, what a second, isn't that THE point of Internet discussion forums :) ) they are a little more fun.


But then I just got kinda carried away and self-amused there at the end of the post.


So, anyway, I hope you don't think I was being a jerk or anything.


Not that I think it's overly important that we kinda bond over this and become buddies - well, virtual buddies I guess - but, anyway. I'm not going to lose sleep about it - not that your going to lose sleep about it either.


Ok, I guess that's all I want to say about it. Well, I don't mean that like there is anymore to say and I don't want to say it. There just isn't anymore to say. Which I guess I should have said in the first place.

So, to sum it up:

1. didn't intend to be mean
2. don't want to start some kind of silly feud
3. just trying to channel difference of opinion in a fun way
4. got kinda carried away at the end of the post with self-amusement
5. nothing else to say about it


So that's it and I'm going to end my post. Going to end it right now.


you know, I do have something else to say. And it's directed to anyone that's interested.


Funky Monkey Midget

try it, it's kinda fun to say

Funky Monkey Midget

Funky Monkey Midget

it's fun

I didn't come up with it, Funky Monkey Midget, in case anyone wants to know.

this local band has a song with that in it. I haven't actually seen the band but they were being interviewed on this saturday morning radio show I was listening to on this station here in Dallas. The Ticket. KTCK in Dallas. Sports Radio 1310 but it's not really just sports radio. The hosts of the shows aren't the typical sports radio guys trying to be Jim Rome or working on their sports announcer voices and schtick so that one day they can be one of the anchors on SportsCenter while taking calls about whether Orlando Cepeda would have been a better hitter than Mickey Cochran if they had both played in the deadball era and Cepada had to play catcher while Cochran had to keep his left eye, not the right eye just the left, from blinking throughout the duration of the entire game - even if the game went into extra innings. It's not that they don't talk sports at all, I mean it is Sports Radio 1310 the ticket so there has to be some sports talk, but the hosts spend a lot of time talking about popular culture stuff like movies and sopranos and it ends up being more like "guy talk" radio only you can't call it that because Guy Talk radio sounds just a little too, you know, so instead you call it Sports Talk which would be the biggest component of Guy Talk radio anyway. So anyway, I was listening to the Ticket this one Saturday morning and the show is hosted by the weekday guy who does all the comedy bits for the Monday- Friday morning hosts. On Saturday he gets to have his own show and usually I don't listen to it because the Saturday morning show isn't usually all that good. The host guy can be pretty funny during the week but he just kinda mails it in on Saturday mornings. Basically, he just takes screenless calls from all these guys who have been waiting all week to call in and say something like "Deese Nuts" or in some sort of funny voice they say "I just made poopy in my pants". I know you've heard some sort of call like that before on a radio or TV show. It's really stupid. Do people think that's funny? Are there other guys there watching and listening and then the guy calls in and screams out "Deese Nuts" and all the other guys are like, "Dude, that is so cool. I can't stop laughing". Personally, I just don't see it. OK, I'm willing to grant that maybe, just maybe, the first time someone said "Deese Nuts" it could have been funny. I'm really skeptical about it though - even more skeptical about it than the microstutters on all the Voom channels although I guess now it's been confirmed that the microstutters do exist since that guy posted that email he got from Wilt the Voom guy who said the issue is solved in the latest beta of the firmware. Well, happen might be the better word to use than exist because I don't want to deal with all the implications that "exist" implies. Although, I was thinking about this the other day, not because I was trying to find a way to prove that I was really right about the fact the microstutters didn't exist...sorry...about the fact that they didn't happen... maybe occur is even better....about the fact that the microstutters weren't really occurring....no happen was better...about the fact that the so-called microstutters weren't really happening.Instead the so-called quote unquote microstutters were really just some manifestation of, for lack of better term, display anxiety that some guys with high end video equipment kinda manifest, you know what I'm talking about, the video poobahs who see things that the human eye wasn't really meant to see but somehow they do. Probably some sort of genetic thing - you know kinda like the Xmen but not all cool like the XMen because were talking about the ability to see, by eyesight, that the overall picture of a TV display is set 7 degrees kelvin to warm and stuff as opposed to Wolverine who is cool because he can eviscerate his enemies with cool razor sharp Titanium claws and stuff like that. I'm not trying to dis the other thing you know. It's not that it's bad or wrong or anything. I'm just saying, if it was a matter of choice where someone said that you could chose from one of two genetic mutations we all know which one we would choose. That's all I'm saying. Anyway, what I thought about was that maybe Wilt the Voom guy is just saying that the newest firmware will take care of the problem. Do you get where I'm going here? Do you? See, maybe the Voom guys don't believe in the so-called quote unquote microstutters either. None of them see the so-called quote unquote squint real hard and stand and one leg and you can see 'em microstutters. But all of these people - well, "all of these" is kinda much isn't it? I mean 30 or 40 people posting on an Internet discussion board where it's well know that all the most obsessively picky video poobahs congregate to dissect, pixel by pixel, the performance - perceived performance I wish to stress - of their preferred satellite provider's pictures and sound. Well, anyway, the point I'm trying to make, or maybe it's the conspiracy I'm trying to expose...wait, stop for a second and let your mind around that, just let that idea soak in good and deep...the conspiracy, THE CONSPIRACY i tell ya, the conspiracy I'm uncovering like I'm Woodward and Bernstein all rolled into one is that maybe the Voom guys have made a calculated decision that even though they, the Voom guys, think the so-called quote unquote run out and stare at the sun for a minute and then come back and squint real hard and stand on one leg and then you can see 'em microstutter issue is simply the figment of the overly active imaginative imagination of a small group of picky and persnickety video poobahs. And the Voom guys, being clever Voom guys and all, decided to go along with the mass madness of the hallucinatory few and they say that the so-called quote unquote run outside and stare at the sun for a minute come back in get some salt rub it into your eyes squint real hard and stand on one leg and then you can see 'em microstutter issues do exist. In fact, we've already fixed it in the next firmware. Then the heretofore previously unappeasable and perpetually unpleasable picky and persnickety video poobahs will all become pleasantly appeased and properly proud of their plucky and persistent pursuit of the profoundly perplexing and perpetually persisting plague of the so- called quote unquote run outside stare at the sun for a minute come back in grab some salt and rub it in your eyes and then squeeze a lemon, an organic lemon, and pour the freshly squeezed lemon juice, organic lemon juice from an organic lemon, in your eyes then squint real hard and stand on one leg and then you can see 'em microstutter. In fact they will be so appeased and happy they will compose a poem about it and it will go like this:

The Microstutter

plainly present but barely perceptible
perhaps undetectable except to the perfectly perceptible
perpetual and persistent
not a tad bit inconsistent
a plaguing presence so utterly contemptible

And the Voom guys are going be all happy and giggling and they are going to say, "Dude can you believe they fell for that?" And another Voom guy, the one that sits in the corner cubicle and is really into Dr. Who, is going to be all, "I know dude, this is so funny. Customers are so lame" And the first Voom guy, he's really into Babylon 5 more than Star Trek but he does like Star Trek the original series and sometimes when he takes care of himself, if you know what I mean, he pictures that he is doing it with that one Star Trek The Original Series alien hottie - the one that looked like an ancient egyptian princess and she had these tears that if you touched you would love her more than anything and kinda become her slave, says, "I know. Customers are lame" And then a third Voom guy walked into the area and he's a new Voom guy who just started at Voom a couple of weeks ago and the others don't know him all that well although he seems cool. One thing they will never know about the third Voom guy despite the fact that they are destined to be lifelong friends is that one day Voom guy number three's father announced that he had been living a lie all his life and that he was really gay and he was going to leave his wife, Voom guy number three's mother, and live with the first person with whom he knew happiness - an Ecuadorean hairdresser named the guy for whom Voom guy number three's father left Voom guy number three's mother for a week before being consumed with guilt and self-loathing and ultimately returning to his family, undergoing family and personal therapy and salvaging some remnants of a normal family life although secretly continuing to frequent seedy adult movie theater establishments to engage in anonymous sexual encounters with other men, who was pursuing a career as a female impersonator. So Voom guy number three walks into the room and goes, "Hey, what's going on?" And the other two go, "Dude you should have seen what we just did. You know that thing they keep talking about all the time?" And the third Voom guys goes, "Who is they?" And the other two Voom guys go, "You know, the lamers" And then Voom guy number three goes, "Oh, The customers. Yeah what is that thing they keep whining about anyway." And then the other two Voom guys go, "Who knows. Something about the picture. They always come up with something to bitch about. Anyway the Man is all bent out of shape because one of the nutjobs got through to him and he had to exchange email with him. You know how he is about having to talk to one of those loons but check this Dude. We fixed it and the Man is coolio." and the third Voom dude is like, "Cool, so what was the deal" And so the first two were like, "There was no deal, it's just lame crap from lamer video engineer wannabes. But this is how we are just so f'ing cool - we told the Man it's already fixed. We put the fix in the firmware months ago" And the third guy is like, "That is so cool" And the first two are like "We know dude. It's not like the Man knows. He hasn't done any video engineering since the dark ages. Like how is he going to tell, he gonna go to the antique store and by an oscilloscope and check out the sine wave?" And all three of them laugh about that for awhile but then the third one says, "So what about the lamers? After the new firmware nothing will be changed?' And the other two say, "yeah, we know but there is no problem..it's just a placebo man. Just tell 'em it's fixed and they will think it's fixed. Those lamers are gonna come up with some new thing anyway." And so then they all three decide to go to lunch pleased with how smart and cool and unlame they are. Oh, and one other thing, when they were talking the first two Voom guys always talked in absolute perfect unision when the were conversing with Voom guy number three which most people found kind of creepy at first but eventually wouldn't even notice. So anyway that is like my new theory about the microstutters. Maybe they don't exist but since we think they exist the Voom guys are going to tell us they exist so they can tell us they fixed them even though they don't and they didn't. Then, when the new firmware comes out, we won't be seeing what never was really there anyway and since we can't see what we couldn't see but we thought we were seeing before we will think everything is great. It's like all Phillip K. Dick man. You know he was like a mystic, man. A visionary that knew it all you know - like Nostradamus or that guy that can talk to the dead people - Jonathan Edwards from that Crossing Over show. Dude, sometimes he is like so..I don't even know what to say except he is so on he is like scary. David Blaine too. Well, the older David Blaine not the sit in a suspended box over London and go nutty lame ass David Blaine but more like the encased in ice in Times Square David Blaine. That was pretty cool. Hey, you know who else is cool. Samuel Jackson. Samuel MFing Jackson. Like in Pulp Fiction - that was way cool. Hey, tell me something - What did you think about Formula 51? I know it's not a great movie but there was some cool stuff in there. I think Samuel was pretty cool in that - "Can't a brother sell some mfing drugs?". That was so cool. I like that English guy in that one too. What's his name? Hamish McBeth or something. That name is kinda lame though, where did he get that? Some play that Hamlet guy wrote I think. Wait Wait I need to get back on topic. Anyway that's why I don't see any microstutter. It doesn't exist. Although the Voom guys are saying it exists, thats not because it really exists thats only because we think it really exists and the Voom guys know they can't fix a problem that doesn't really exist unless they say the problem is real so they can apply their real unreal fix.

squicken
06-04-2004, 01:58 AM
That stuff on the microstutters is damn funny. :clap I'm probably the only person who will read it the whole way through, so congrats. But dude, I don't think it's the aderral that created that. I think we're talking dangerously high levels of caffeine or "other" things. If it is the aderral, then lower your dose or don't take it so late. Either way, see a doctor :) You should crop it to show off the funniest parts. I'm afraid it's so long no one will read far enough into it where it gets absolutely hysterical.

ZeitGeist
06-04-2004, 04:17 AM
These are just kinda writing exercises for me. The tone and tenor of today's post started with that stupid little Q and A section I put at the end of the Vurbano template post yesterday. That section ended up amusing me so much that I couldn't keep from dabbling with it again today, only I had more time to dedicate to the writing exercise aspect of what I was doing. I'm still kinda amused by it for the time being and I kinda hate "breaking character" with this post because I wouldn't mind pushing it even farther out and finding out just how zany and weird that vibe can be pushed before it breaks (of course that's also assuming it's actually working for anyone other than me) but this isn't the "David's Writing Exercises" forum so....

Anyway thanks for the post of concern and I assure you that I'm not going through any kind of psychosis, drug induced or otherwise. And I also appreciate the very nice feedback. Hope anyone else reading is amused or entertained and not put out with my nonsense and I do, really and sincerly, hope Vurbano isn't offended or feel put out by my first post because it really, really, really was just trying to find a fun way to communicate a difference of opinion.

Dave

vurbano
06-04-2004, 08:01 AM
as Eschu always tells me "try to stay on topic sparky"

eschu97611
06-04-2004, 09:44 PM
as Eschu always tells me "try to stay on topic sparky"
joo got it mang-LOL

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