Murphy's Law of FTA

[DiscoLoveGrapes]

So FTA is pretty awesome, right? I mean, you throw up a dish, turn on the box and after a little bit of tuning you can watch TV News from around the world, wild feeds of national games, or even the rare sighting of Tom Brokaw eating a sandwich. Still, there are some simple rules you must expect to live by. I've come up with a few, and you should add on

- If you find a famous person doing a live shot, it will be spotty and breakup while the channels showing color bars on the same satellite will be 90%.

- The newest channel you'll spend an hour trying to focus in on will be Daystar.

- If you find a movie on g25 or g10r you've always wanted to see, it'll be dubbed into Spanish or Farsi.

- An elusive PPV or major national sports matchup will be in the clear up to 30 seconds before the start of the game and/or wrestling match.

- Any cable news commentators that are raving lunatics on the air will never be caught swearing at the cameraman or hitting on interns until after you switch the channel.

- A rare sighting of a movie channel or big named cable TV channel will go scrambled right as you get used to watching it.

- Your alma mater's homecoming game is FTA...in 4:2:2

- Likewise, the only feed of Sunday Night Football you can find has John Madden in 5.1 surround sound.

- The new Dish will be here Monday afternoon because FedEx didn't give you enough time to answer the door Friday evening.

- Tonight's subzero retuning of the dish will bring G10r signals from a choppy 38% to a choppy 43%.

 

[Sadoun]

- The new Dish will be here Monday afternoon because FedEx didn't give you enough time to answer the door Friday evening.

This is funny. DHL here always call the office if they have a delivery for us. They always say "The driver stopped by your house but no one answered the door bell and he had to leave. Can you come and pick your package up from the office?".

"But mam, this is a business, not a house. And we are always open during office hours.


BTW, we only use the reliable UPS or USPS for all our outbound shipments.

 

[14karat]

HA! The last thing I had sent to me via DHL went the same way.
I typically have everything sent to me at work so I'll be sure I get it...
Anyway, they called me on my cell (that was my contact number) and told me they tried to deliver and no one was home...
Once they figured out it wasn't a home address, they then apologized and said they were looking at the wrong pkg #...
I don't think they could track their way down a one-way street...

 

[toucan-man]

- If you find a movie on g25 or g10r you've always wanted to see, it'll be dubbed into Spanish or Farsi.

LOL, I know Spanish and am learning Farsi, but your comment is still funny.

- Tonight's subzero retuning of the dish will bring G10r signals from a choppy 38% to a choppy 43%.

I just put a bigger dish on G10r and now have a choppy 70% on some of the Equity channels.

Here's my own:

-- You get started in FTA because on Ku you can use those aesthetically pleasing small size dishes, but now the visual space taken up by your Primestars exceeds that of a BUD.

 

[olliec420]

haha so true so true

 

[Pepper]

-- You get started in FTA because on Ku you can use those aesthetically pleasing small size dishes, but now the visual space taken up by your Primestars exceeds that of a BUD.

perhaps this can be used as a bargaining tool to increase the WAF of a BUD. ("Look, honey, I'll trade all of THESE for just one of THOSE")

 

[Inno]

- You will find more time modifying, tweaking, adjusting, cursing, to find one elusive feed than you will spend watching it.

I'm thinking of Whitesprings in particular. I spent more than a couple evenings building a bracket to hang another LNB off my G10R setup only to find I wasn't terribly interested in it.

- That incredible feeling of satisfaction you gain from catching yet another bird can very easily be turned into shame/guilt when you see the glares/rolled eyes from your significant other. Especially when she reminds you of how long you spent on the project, how insignificant the channels are and what you COULD have been doing for her instead.

 

[Inno]

- Tonight's subzero retuning of the dish will bring G10r signals from a choppy 38% to a choppy 43%.

I can totally relate.........yet I'll still do it! In some way shape or form it'll be worth it!

 

[rv1pop]

How about:

Winds are calm, so I go out to add another dish on the third tier of dishes and just when I get to the top of the extention ladder with the dish still on the bracket, we get a 2 minute microburst at 55 MPH - and there is nothing but the ladder to hang onto since I only have one hand free!

 

[Anole]

- You will find more time modifying, tweaking, adjusting, cursing, to find one elusive feed than you will spend watching it.

I'm thinking of Whitesprings in particular. I spent more than a couple evenings building a bracket to hang another LNB off my G10R setup only to find I wasn't terribly interested in it.

Boy, can I identify! -
Ya do a pretty job, and find the bird (wasn't so hard to locate in my experience), and then ya got . . .
. . . I took the dish down the next week. -

But, every time I bad-mouth Whitesprings, there'll be several who jump up 'n down about how great it is!
Just shows ta go ya that it's all a matter of taste. - :up
So, when a noobie says he wants to see old movies, I'll suggest that station!

Best of all, thanks for voicing the same opinion!
Glad to know I'm not alone. -

 

[Inno]

No problem, I guess I'm not quite old enough to appreciate it. That and the picture quality is quite possibly the worst I've seen on satellite. I'll watch paint peel as long as it's in crystal clear high definition.........well if there's nothing else on.

 

[Larry1]

After months of thought and planning, you finally put up another dish for that one channel you wanted to see. The next day they scramble.

 

[toucan-man]

perhaps this can be used as a bargaining tool to increase the WAF of a BUD. ("Look, honey, I'll trade all of THESE for just one of THOSE")

Haha. But I want one of THOSE and want to keep all of THOSE I already got.

Here's another:

- You watch a great movie, and lose the plot while trying to identify the dishes you spot on rooftops, etc.

 

[rv1pop]

Haha. But I want one of THOSE and want to keep all of THOSE I already got.

Here's another:

- You watch a great movie, and lose the plot while trying to identify the dishes you spot on rooftops, etc.

And it was supposed to be an old period western! -- They also had a laptop at the end of the bar!

BTW, add to Murphy - you try to tweak the big dish for a better signal, and the actuator draws just enough current to drop the inverter off line and you miss almost half the program before you can get then geneartor fired up, and most of the rest because of the generator hash and the noise! (Not my problem, but the guy at the end of the mud bog called a road!)

 

[Tron]

Another Murphy...

It will begin to rain just as soon as you have your receiver and small monitor out at the dish site

For this reason, always be prepared with a large garbage bag to protect your gear...

 

[Larobpra]

Don't leave your FTA parts and accessories on the messy inside porch and have the wife decide it needs cleaning............
http://www.satelliteguys.us/fta-shack/151006-friday-fun-poll-10-10-a.html#post1547216

 

[Cadsulfide]

You just added another dish, and now have to decide how to redo your system to add another sat port.

Your 12 yr old kindly did a factory reset on your reciever while you were at work, and wife wants her channels back this evening so she can watch "House"

That 30' tree that looked as solid as a rock, was'nt. Trees always fall TOWARD dish arrays.

 

[truckracer]

been there

After months of thought and planning, you finally put up another dish for that one channel you wanted to see. The next day they scramble.

Happened to me with fuse on G23!

 

[truckracer]

Your neighbor's walnut tree gets 40 feet tall and you offer him a free tree trimming job and he says "No thanks...I like my tree like it is".

Now you are movng a 10' dish further back in the yard to get a look angle over his monster tree trying to compensate for growth over the next 5 years.

 

[CharredPC]

Add this to Murphy's:

Due to the failing economy and growing bills, you no longer have the money to leave the house; therefore, finally have time for FTA! However, because of the aforementioned dilemma, the spiffy if dusty Visionsat IV 200 and spare dish must be sold off

Thank goodness I had an (even dustier) Satpro DSR500 in the closet Got G10r's Equity lineup scanned in tonight (64% quality, thank you very much), so me and the wife spent the evening enjoying Family Guy, Greatest American Hero, Battlestar Galactica, and Boston Legal.