So, the World Cup kicked off yesterday. This year it is being played in a place that is the source of probably 25% of the financing of European football. Hence, why it is being played in a nation with almost no football, or even a native football team and required building a bunch of stadiums that'll have no purpose for existing in roughly 30 days.
2022 Qatar's football team makes the 1994 US's football team look close to 1998's France's team. I get it, that is going to over people's heads. I'll simplify it. Qatar sucks so much that they make the US team that wasn't that good in the US hosted World Cup in 1994 seem like the World Cup winners in 1998. .... Yes, the uS hosted the World Cup in 1994. ... Yes, I'm sure. Don't you remember Tony Meola? Tried punting for The Jets... for like an afternoon? Nevermind!
Meanwhile yesterday, Qatar seemed quite lucky not to lose by a dozen. They fell 2-0, but the outcome was much worse than that.
The US plays Wales today. Wales hasn't been in the World Cup in something like 50 years, and you might not know it, but the US hasn't been in a World Cup in 8 years... yeah, you can thank people who wanted to fire Klinsman for that. ... The last coach.... Forget it. Besides, don't get too excited about Wales, both the fact that you didn't know it existed and that they haven't been World Cup'n in a long time. With Gareth Bale and Aaron Ramsey, they have roughly twice the talent as the entire US squad, by themselves. The US team itself, they could go 0-1-2 and it wouldn't be shocking. Maybe they make with cohesion and finally team up, but how bad are things? Canada won the Hexagonal. I'd go into what that is, but we don't have enough time. Rest assured, that if Canada wins the Hexagonal, US and Mexico are in trouble in a World Cup Final setting.
And no, don't get fooled by the term "World Cup Final". This is the final part of the tournament. The tournament actually started 23 years ago with a bunch of preliminary stuff that decade after decade culminates into eliminations and finally into the debacle that is the World Cup final located in the middle of a place where there is no water, alcohol, or women for 500 miles (please don't fact check that). So when you see US v Wales - World Cup Final, don't be thinking, I've got to get out of work to watch this. The US could win the World Cup Title today! No... that isn't what that means.
Oh, you probably need to know about VAR.
Q) What is VAR?
A) It is the video assistant referee. It assesses potential red cards, penalties, and nitpicks offsides to a micron.
Q) What's a micron? Is that more of that Metric garbage? Metric is evil! I can't stand things that are divisible by 10.
A) Nitpicks offsides to 4×10−5 inches.
Q) That seems small.
A) That was the point!
Q) Is VAR a good thing?
A) Not in England it isn't.
Q) What does that mean?
A) You know, I can't carry all the water here! You can't ignore football for 4 years and then all of a sudden pretend you care.
Q) I was trying to make you feel better and feign interest. I don't care. Soccer is boring... it is totally nothing like baseball or football or basketball. All that constant and non-stop play just bores me. If there aren't commercials every 4 or 5 minutes, I start losing interest.
A) That wasn't a question.
Q) Going to the well a bit much with that bit.
Enjoy the World Cup everyone!
2022 Qatar's football team makes the 1994 US's football team look close to 1998's France's team. I get it, that is going to over people's heads. I'll simplify it. Qatar sucks so much that they make the US team that wasn't that good in the US hosted World Cup in 1994 seem like the World Cup winners in 1998. .... Yes, the uS hosted the World Cup in 1994. ... Yes, I'm sure. Don't you remember Tony Meola? Tried punting for The Jets... for like an afternoon? Nevermind!
Meanwhile yesterday, Qatar seemed quite lucky not to lose by a dozen. They fell 2-0, but the outcome was much worse than that.
The US plays Wales today. Wales hasn't been in the World Cup in something like 50 years, and you might not know it, but the US hasn't been in a World Cup in 8 years... yeah, you can thank people who wanted to fire Klinsman for that. ... The last coach.... Forget it. Besides, don't get too excited about Wales, both the fact that you didn't know it existed and that they haven't been World Cup'n in a long time. With Gareth Bale and Aaron Ramsey, they have roughly twice the talent as the entire US squad, by themselves. The US team itself, they could go 0-1-2 and it wouldn't be shocking. Maybe they make with cohesion and finally team up, but how bad are things? Canada won the Hexagonal. I'd go into what that is, but we don't have enough time. Rest assured, that if Canada wins the Hexagonal, US and Mexico are in trouble in a World Cup Final setting.
And no, don't get fooled by the term "World Cup Final". This is the final part of the tournament. The tournament actually started 23 years ago with a bunch of preliminary stuff that decade after decade culminates into eliminations and finally into the debacle that is the World Cup final located in the middle of a place where there is no water, alcohol, or women for 500 miles (please don't fact check that). So when you see US v Wales - World Cup Final, don't be thinking, I've got to get out of work to watch this. The US could win the World Cup Title today! No... that isn't what that means.
Oh, you probably need to know about VAR.
Q) What is VAR?
A) It is the video assistant referee. It assesses potential red cards, penalties, and nitpicks offsides to a micron.
Q) What's a micron? Is that more of that Metric garbage? Metric is evil! I can't stand things that are divisible by 10.
A) Nitpicks offsides to 4×10−5 inches.
Q) That seems small.
A) That was the point!
Q) Is VAR a good thing?
A) Not in England it isn't.
Q) What does that mean?
A) You know, I can't carry all the water here! You can't ignore football for 4 years and then all of a sudden pretend you care.
Q) I was trying to make you feel better and feign interest. I don't care. Soccer is boring... it is totally nothing like baseball or football or basketball. All that constant and non-stop play just bores me. If there aren't commercials every 4 or 5 minutes, I start losing interest.
A) That wasn't a question.
Q) Going to the well a bit much with that bit.
Enjoy the World Cup everyone!
