Voom... Is it Good, Bad or just Ugly ?
Hard for me to say because I don't have it. Yesterday I took 5 hours off from work to wait for a Voom contracted installer to grace me with his presence sometime during the noon to 5pm window he needed to arrive.
Excited about seeing something better than the 480p of my X-Box, I decided it was worth the hassle of getting Voom so I took the better part of the day off, settling into my comfy bean bag gamers' cacoon to enjoy the barks of "Tango Down!" while I waited.
Around 1pm I called CS at Voom just to confirm that I was actually scheduled for an install today... When I ordered the service I was told that the contractor would call me the day of the install with a firmer ETA... Sure enough, Voom confirmed and even gave me the name of the contractor AND the name of the technician...
"Pretty impressive" I thought, and confidant that I'd soon be surfing Hi-Def Deliciousness, I returned my energies to the whacking of terrorists.
Later that afternoon I got a call from the contractor...
"Hi Mr. IWantMyHDTV...? I'm just calling to let you know that we JUST received a service order from Voom and that all of our trucks are tied up and someone will call you back in a few days to let you know when we can schedule an install.. Good Day."
*blink blink*
I got back on the phone to Voom... I got CSR #1 who disconnected my call.
I got back on the phone to Voom... I got CSR #2 who transferred me to installations, who then disconnected my call.
I got back on the phone to Voom... I got CSR #3 who confirmed that the service order had been placed some 13 days prior and suggested that the contractor had switched the service order from the original tech to another tech and that somehow the order was no longer showing up on the contractor's end with the proper history. This means that the "contractor" lied to me, or was incompetent. The modern world sort of relies on the average persons ability to make and keep appointments after all.
Regardless, what I really wanted was to know a firm date when someone could make it to my house... And I was also a little miffed about losing 5 hours from work even if my absence did make America a stronger, better place what with my mounting terrorist body count.
Voom couldn't give me a date. The contractor couldn't give me a date.
*blink blink*
For my trouble, I was offered a one-time $25 discount on my bill.
My bill... ??? You mean I'm being charged for this non-service ?
ATTENTION CONSUMERS: Voom has leapfrogged past HD television and landed smack dab into the entertainment realm of the 22nd Century - VIRTUAL REALITY ! For a mere $79.99 a month you can close your eyes and IMAGINE that you're seeing those quaint, antiquated HD images of the 21st Century ! Act now and we'll throw in a virtual VHD Box and Dish AND an imaginary installer to seamless bring the whole kit into one intangible pipe dream !*
I know what you're thinking... "IWant, you never get anything done on the first circle of Customer Disservice... To get the full experience you really need to descend those concentric rings until you can belly up at the High Table of Hell and speak to the Customer Service Reptile in charge.."
So my friends and would-be compatriots, I asked to be transferred to the next tier of shameless excuse mongers.
I could sense in this guys voice that I'd been handed off to a man who was a broken and beaten shell of humanity - I got the guy who day in and day out gets ripped and shredded by wolves like myself, the guy who was forced to bare the cross for the Company...
Well.. I felt kinda bad so I calmly explained my situation.
Like so many pioneers before me, I made the dance across the bleeding edge of technology and decided to purchase a TV that cost more than my first car... Perhaps a bit prematurely, because staring at the blank face of the beast I was then faced with the realization that I've have to feed it.
So the hunt began.
Cable...? DirecTV...? Dish Network....? Voom...? Who would I go with..? Who could offer me the best bang for the buck and a taste of the HD I craved so badly ?
It was with more than a little disgust that I weighed the options... Here we are less than 2 years before the Congressionally mandated new paradigm of all digital broadcasts and the consumers choices are... LESS than desirable. If HD is the visual equivalent of fine dining, HD Service providers are the equivalent of dumpster divers... I couldn't help notice that these bottom feeders were taking free bandwidth intended for HD signals, bandwidth that once belonged to you and I, and were offering me 8 shopping channels in lieu of any real HD content.... But I digress.
Because there, in the mire, like a pearl cast amongst the pig manure of the "industry"... was VOOM. All HAIL VOOM ! VOOM Uber Alles ! Voom with all that glorious shiny, candy-like HD content... Mmmmmmm.... Candy Voom.
Except of course for the glaring and mind boggling ineptitude stacked up like a fortress wall between you, the consumer, and it, the product.
Here's the lesson, taken from "Business for the Complete Idiot".
Meet Joe. Joe makes widgets. Joe's widgets are the best widgets in the WHOLE world. Joe's widgets are also the most AFFORDABLE widgets in the whole world. Joe is going to crush the competition.
Joe begs, borrows and barters his way into building a company... He thinks of a clever name for it. Let's call it DOOM.
DOOM gets a call for their first order. Joe is very excited. Joe calls ACME DELIVERY company to come to the factory, pick up the product and deliver it to his new customer. Joe calls his customer and tells him the good news. Your widget will arrive next week !
The day of delivery comes but no truck arrives. ACME DELIVERY decided that it didn't think today was a good day to drive the truck. Someone there read the horoscope and the stars were clearly not favor of widget delivery. They were nice and called Joe's customer to explain, but they couldn't really be sure of when they'd feel like dropping off the widget. Who can say what's in the mind of the stars? Clearly anything as cosmically significant as widget delivery can't be left to mere logistics of scheduling and adequate communication.
Joe, an excellent widget maker, is nevertheless a complete boob in terms of the "Big Picture" of business, which includes consumption as part of the process that also includes conception and construction.
When Joe's customer calls in to complain about the lack of delivery, Joe's Customer Disservice Team tries to upsell the customer to the PREMIUM Widget, even though the standard widget still hasn't arrived yet...
What Joe, and his company DOOM should have learned is this: Getting the product out is a crucial step of the business. If the person you hired to deliver your widget can't get the job done you fire them and find someone who can. It is not nice to frustrate and anger people who are trying to give you money.
And offering a $25 one-time discount for a 10 hour inconvenience (that's 5 hours for the first install abortion, 5 for the second and let's not entirely rule out the possibility that the rocket scientists at the "contractors" may not get the actual install done right the first time)... I don't know about you guys but a make just a teensy weensy bit more than $2.50 an hour.
Had a reasonable consolation offer been made I'd probably be willing to stick it out. What would have made me happy ?
1. A switch to a DIFFERENT contractor for the install.
2. A firm DATE on when I could expect the install.
3. An upgrade to Va Va Voom for a trial period (3 months, 6 months... whatever) at no charge (ie., billed only for basic service)
What I got was none of that... No new contractor, no date, no service perk... So enjoy your your HD my fellow pioneers... Because Voom has lost another potential customer. I might have enjoyed the product some of you rave about, but what I enjoy even more is getting the agreed upon service at the agreed upon time.
Since Voom can't manage that I'll be looking at AOHell/Time Warner, DirecTV or the Dish Network... fewer HD channels perhaps... at least until Voom gets put up on the auction block...
Any suggestions ?
* Not available in all areas. Some restrictions may apply. Virtual Installer and new Virtual Installer Apprentice sold separately. Clear view of Tangerine Skies required for ultimate reception.
Hard for me to say because I don't have it. Yesterday I took 5 hours off from work to wait for a Voom contracted installer to grace me with his presence sometime during the noon to 5pm window he needed to arrive.
Excited about seeing something better than the 480p of my X-Box, I decided it was worth the hassle of getting Voom so I took the better part of the day off, settling into my comfy bean bag gamers' cacoon to enjoy the barks of "Tango Down!" while I waited.
Around 1pm I called CS at Voom just to confirm that I was actually scheduled for an install today... When I ordered the service I was told that the contractor would call me the day of the install with a firmer ETA... Sure enough, Voom confirmed and even gave me the name of the contractor AND the name of the technician...
"Pretty impressive" I thought, and confidant that I'd soon be surfing Hi-Def Deliciousness, I returned my energies to the whacking of terrorists.
Later that afternoon I got a call from the contractor...
"Hi Mr. IWantMyHDTV...? I'm just calling to let you know that we JUST received a service order from Voom and that all of our trucks are tied up and someone will call you back in a few days to let you know when we can schedule an install.. Good Day."
*blink blink*
I got back on the phone to Voom... I got CSR #1 who disconnected my call.
I got back on the phone to Voom... I got CSR #2 who transferred me to installations, who then disconnected my call.
I got back on the phone to Voom... I got CSR #3 who confirmed that the service order had been placed some 13 days prior and suggested that the contractor had switched the service order from the original tech to another tech and that somehow the order was no longer showing up on the contractor's end with the proper history. This means that the "contractor" lied to me, or was incompetent. The modern world sort of relies on the average persons ability to make and keep appointments after all.
Regardless, what I really wanted was to know a firm date when someone could make it to my house... And I was also a little miffed about losing 5 hours from work even if my absence did make America a stronger, better place what with my mounting terrorist body count.
Voom couldn't give me a date. The contractor couldn't give me a date.
*blink blink*
For my trouble, I was offered a one-time $25 discount on my bill.
My bill... ??? You mean I'm being charged for this non-service ?
ATTENTION CONSUMERS: Voom has leapfrogged past HD television and landed smack dab into the entertainment realm of the 22nd Century - VIRTUAL REALITY ! For a mere $79.99 a month you can close your eyes and IMAGINE that you're seeing those quaint, antiquated HD images of the 21st Century ! Act now and we'll throw in a virtual VHD Box and Dish AND an imaginary installer to seamless bring the whole kit into one intangible pipe dream !*
I know what you're thinking... "IWant, you never get anything done on the first circle of Customer Disservice... To get the full experience you really need to descend those concentric rings until you can belly up at the High Table of Hell and speak to the Customer Service Reptile in charge.."
So my friends and would-be compatriots, I asked to be transferred to the next tier of shameless excuse mongers.
I could sense in this guys voice that I'd been handed off to a man who was a broken and beaten shell of humanity - I got the guy who day in and day out gets ripped and shredded by wolves like myself, the guy who was forced to bare the cross for the Company...
Well.. I felt kinda bad so I calmly explained my situation.
Like so many pioneers before me, I made the dance across the bleeding edge of technology and decided to purchase a TV that cost more than my first car... Perhaps a bit prematurely, because staring at the blank face of the beast I was then faced with the realization that I've have to feed it.
So the hunt began.
Cable...? DirecTV...? Dish Network....? Voom...? Who would I go with..? Who could offer me the best bang for the buck and a taste of the HD I craved so badly ?
It was with more than a little disgust that I weighed the options... Here we are less than 2 years before the Congressionally mandated new paradigm of all digital broadcasts and the consumers choices are... LESS than desirable. If HD is the visual equivalent of fine dining, HD Service providers are the equivalent of dumpster divers... I couldn't help notice that these bottom feeders were taking free bandwidth intended for HD signals, bandwidth that once belonged to you and I, and were offering me 8 shopping channels in lieu of any real HD content.... But I digress.
Because there, in the mire, like a pearl cast amongst the pig manure of the "industry"... was VOOM. All HAIL VOOM ! VOOM Uber Alles ! Voom with all that glorious shiny, candy-like HD content... Mmmmmmm.... Candy Voom.
Except of course for the glaring and mind boggling ineptitude stacked up like a fortress wall between you, the consumer, and it, the product.
Here's the lesson, taken from "Business for the Complete Idiot".
Meet Joe. Joe makes widgets. Joe's widgets are the best widgets in the WHOLE world. Joe's widgets are also the most AFFORDABLE widgets in the whole world. Joe is going to crush the competition.
Joe begs, borrows and barters his way into building a company... He thinks of a clever name for it. Let's call it DOOM.
DOOM gets a call for their first order. Joe is very excited. Joe calls ACME DELIVERY company to come to the factory, pick up the product and deliver it to his new customer. Joe calls his customer and tells him the good news. Your widget will arrive next week !
The day of delivery comes but no truck arrives. ACME DELIVERY decided that it didn't think today was a good day to drive the truck. Someone there read the horoscope and the stars were clearly not favor of widget delivery. They were nice and called Joe's customer to explain, but they couldn't really be sure of when they'd feel like dropping off the widget. Who can say what's in the mind of the stars? Clearly anything as cosmically significant as widget delivery can't be left to mere logistics of scheduling and adequate communication.
Joe, an excellent widget maker, is nevertheless a complete boob in terms of the "Big Picture" of business, which includes consumption as part of the process that also includes conception and construction.
When Joe's customer calls in to complain about the lack of delivery, Joe's Customer Disservice Team tries to upsell the customer to the PREMIUM Widget, even though the standard widget still hasn't arrived yet...
What Joe, and his company DOOM should have learned is this: Getting the product out is a crucial step of the business. If the person you hired to deliver your widget can't get the job done you fire them and find someone who can. It is not nice to frustrate and anger people who are trying to give you money.
And offering a $25 one-time discount for a 10 hour inconvenience (that's 5 hours for the first install abortion, 5 for the second and let's not entirely rule out the possibility that the rocket scientists at the "contractors" may not get the actual install done right the first time)... I don't know about you guys but a make just a teensy weensy bit more than $2.50 an hour.
Had a reasonable consolation offer been made I'd probably be willing to stick it out. What would have made me happy ?
1. A switch to a DIFFERENT contractor for the install.
2. A firm DATE on when I could expect the install.
3. An upgrade to Va Va Voom for a trial period (3 months, 6 months... whatever) at no charge (ie., billed only for basic service)
What I got was none of that... No new contractor, no date, no service perk... So enjoy your your HD my fellow pioneers... Because Voom has lost another potential customer. I might have enjoyed the product some of you rave about, but what I enjoy even more is getting the agreed upon service at the agreed upon time.
Since Voom can't manage that I'll be looking at AOHell/Time Warner, DirecTV or the Dish Network... fewer HD channels perhaps... at least until Voom gets put up on the auction block...
Any suggestions ?
* Not available in all areas. Some restrictions may apply. Virtual Installer and new Virtual Installer Apprentice sold separately. Clear view of Tangerine Skies required for ultimate reception.
