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  1. Toddytime

    Ways To Avoid A Good Southern Ass Whuppin

    1. Don't fake a Southern accent. This will incite a riot, and you will get your ass kicked. 2. Don't order filet mignon or pasta primavera at Waffle House. It's just a diner. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something they know. If you confuse them, they'll kick your ass...
  2. Toddytime

    Sailor Pants

    A Sailor met a good looking blonde at the bar and was trying to get laid without much success. "I don't date servicemen," she said, "but I am curious as to why you sailors have those two rows of buttons on your pants." "Why, that's because we have two dicks," the sailor replied...
  3. Toddytime

    Little Johnny Visits the Nurse

    Little Johnny went to the nurse to get a vaccination. After the shot, the nurse pulled out a Band-Aid and started to cover the spot on his arm, but Johnny asked her to put it on the other arm. "But I put it over where you got the shot to let others know that it's tender and they shouldn't...
  4. Toddytime

    The Dead Donkey

    A young Hillbilly called Kenny moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The following day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, son, but I have some bad news. The donkey died." Kenny replied, "Well then, just give...
  5. Toddytime

    Busy Bulls

    A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls. They come up to the first bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated 50 times in a year, you could learn from him." They proceed...
  6. Toddytime

    The Dead Donkey

    A young Hillbilly called Kenny moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The following day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, son, but I have some bad news. The donkey died." Kenny replied, "Well then, just give...
  7. Toddytime

    Yes another little Johnny

    Dear Santa... You must be surprised that I'm writing to you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the beginning of the month, filled with illusion, I wrote you my letter. I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a...
  8. Toddytime

    12 Days

    12 Days -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Twelve Days of Christmas DAY ONE: Dearest Bob, I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. What a thoroughly delightful gift. I couldn't have been more...
  9. Toddytime

    Survival Quiz

    Christmas Survival Quiz In this holiday season, the presents are under the tree, the good feelings are flowing... then the criminals kick into high gear and you have to see your family. Every bit of good is offset with a little bit of bad. Can you thrive and survive this holiday season? Take...
  10. Toddytime

    Xmas in Bama

    nice click on pic to expand
  11. Toddytime

    New Rules

    New Rules -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Here are the New Rules...... > > New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for > Classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to > people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly > like...
  12. Toddytime

    White Trash Xmas

    It was a Parady...
  13. Toddytime

    Hillbilly Mirror

    Not Reading? then why the post
  14. Toddytime

    The Ranch Hand

    The ranch hand A successful Colorado rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman, and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching. So she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two men applied for the job...
  15. Toddytime

    Dear Friends

    Dear Friends: I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this year and since you have, I will be telling my elves to make some goodies for me to leave under your tree at Christmas. I was going to bring you all gifts from the 12 days of Christmas, but we...
  16. Toddytime

    Good Security System

    How To install a wireless security system: Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's used work boots, a really big pair. Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine. Put a dog dish beside it. A really big dish. Leave a note on your front door...
  17. Toddytime

    Hillbilly Mirror

    After living in the remote wilderness of Tennessee all his life, an old codger decided it was time to visit the big city. In one of the stores he picked up a mirror for the very first time and looked into it. Not knowing what the mirror was, he remarked, "How about that! Here's a picture of my...
  18. Toddytime

    White Trash Xmas

    Click on link http://www.toonedin.com/movies/WhiteTrashXmas.html
  19. Toddytime

    Boob Job (song)

    Click on link http://boreme.com/boreme/media-movies/xmas-boob-job.mp3
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