You're entitled to your opinion but to a developer the Android fragmentation issue is a huge problem. It is virtually impossible to create an Android app that runs on all (or even most) Android devices. This is partly due to the various revisions of the software deployed and partly due to the hardware. One simple example - some devices don't support a touch screen, while some support touch but not multi-touch others do support multi-touch. On the IOS end, it's true that you limit your audience when you make use of features that have been added to newer devices, but most apps don't require that you do that. Also, Apple has maintained a consistent set of tools and interfaces for developing IOS apps. The Android program interfaces have had significant changes made to them that add to an already bad problem. Unlike you, Google understands this is a big problem - they're trying to fix it.
How many non-touch android devices have you actually seen? There are some resistive-touch devices that are single-touch only, but those are $30 devices from China. I don't believe you will be able to walk into any reputable store and find any Android devices that are not multi-touch.
Google is doing things to help developers. The latest versions of the development software use frames to create responsive design with apps. Larger screens show more information, smaller screens get split up into multiple screens, etc.
I take John's point to be poking fun at how far Apple and Apple fans have distorted the fragmentation argument. From your argument, it is almost impossible to create an app that will run on the majority of phones released in the last two years. However, there are many many apps that do run on virtually EVERY Android phone released in the last two years. I have programmed Android apps(albeit very small and limited ones), and know that there are many things that you can do that are agnostic to the hardware. The problems that many developers have had have been with screen resolutions(which frames and vector graphics help), and with different sensors and such.
With the extreme level that Apple fans have pushed the fact that you can't do everything on ALL Android devices does make it relevant to point out that now you cannot do everything on ALL IOS devices.