Slang Dictionary

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joprandi

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Sep 15, 2003
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New Slang Dictionary

AEROPLANE BLONDE

One who has bleached or dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

AUSSIE KISS

Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

BADLY PACKED KEBAB

A vulgar (but still excellent) term for the female genitalia

BEAVER LEAVER

A homosexual (male)

BEER COAT

The invisible, but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at
3 in the morning.

BEER COMPASS

The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a booze
cruise, even though you're too pissed to remember where you live, ho w you
got there, and where you've come from.

BEER SCOOTER

The ability to get home after a night out on the booze and not remember it
i.e. "I don't even remember getting home last night, I must have caught the
beer scooter".

BOBFOC

Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.

BREAKING THE SEAL

Your first piss in the pub, usually after 2 hours of solid drinking. After
breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be
required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

BRITNEY SPEARS

Modern slang for 'beers', e.g. "Couple of Britneys please, Doreen".

BRUCE LEE

Erect nipple (as in, a hard Nip).

BUDGIE'S TONGUE or SMALL MAN IN A BOAT, or TONGUE PUNCHBAG

The female erection.

BUNNY-BOILER

An unhinged and overly possessive woman. From the rabbit boiling sce ne in
the film "Fatal Attraction", e.g. " I don't like the look of that
aeroplane blonde - could be a bunny boiler".

COCK-A-DOODLE-POO

The bowel movement that, needing to come out urgently, wakes you up in the
morning to get to the toilet quick.

DOUBLE BASS

A sexual position in which the man enters the woman from behind, and then
fiddles with the woman's nipples with one hand and her Budgie's tongue with
the other. The position is similar to that used when playing the double bass
instrument, but the sound produced is slightly different.

DRINK-LINK

A modern term for a cashpoint machine (ATM). Named so because it is common
to visit one before going out on the booze.

ETCH-A-SKETCH

Trying to draw a smile on a woman's face by twiddling both her nippl es
simultaneously.

FLOGGING ON

Surfing the Internet for some left-handed websites.

FREE THE TADPOLES

Liberate the residents of the Wank Tanks.

FRIGMAROLE

Unnecessarily time-consuming foreplay.

F***SH*TF***SH*TF***SH*T

The sound made when driving through too narrow a gap at too high a s peed.

GOING FOR A McSH*T

Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're
just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your
declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is called a
"McSh*t With Lies".

GREYHOUND

A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

HAND-TO-GLAND COMBAT

A vigorous masturbation session.

JOHNNY-NO-STARS

A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in
a burger restaurant. The 'no stars' comes from the badges displaying stars
that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to s how their level of
training.

McSPLURRY

The type of bowel movement you experience after dining for a week in fast
food restaurants.

MILLENNIUM DOMES

The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the
outside, but there's actually nothing at all in there worth seeing.

MONKEY BATH

A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go "Oo! Ool Oo! A a! Aa!
Aa!".

MUMBLER

An attractive girl in tight shorts or jeans, etc i.e. you can see the
'lips' moving but can't quite make out what they're saying.

MYSTERY BUS

The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet
after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive pe ople so the
pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

MYSTERY TAXI

The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you w ake up,
whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-pinter i n your bed
instead.

NBR (NO BEERS REQUIRED)

Someone that you'd chat up instantly in the pub. The opposite of a
10-pinter.

NELSON MANDELA

Rhyming slang for "Stella" (the lager).

ONE IN THE DEPARTURE LOUNGE

The need to defecate imminently.

PEARL HARBOUR

Cold (weather). An example of it would be - "It's a bit Pearl Harbor out
there!" Meaning - there's a nasty 'nip' in the air.

PICASSO ARSE

A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she' s got 4
buttocks.

RAGMAN'S COAT

Untidy and unkempt pubic hair e.g. "That mumbler looks quite fit, bu t I bet
she's got a kebab like a ragmans coat!"


RELEASE A CHOCOLATE HOSTAGE

To defecate e.g. "I've got one in the departure lounge, so I'm just nipping
out to release a chocolate hostage".

SALAD DODGER

An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

SKIN-CHIMNEY -

see BADLY PACKED KEBAB

SPERM WAIL or SPUPHEMISM

A verbal outburst during the male orgasm.

STARFISH TROOPER or ARSETRONAUT

A homosexual

SWAMP-DONKEY

A deeply unattractive woman

TART FUEL or BITCH PISS

Bottled Alcopops, e.g Hooch, regularly consumed by young woman.

TEN-PINTER

Someone that you'd only chat up after drinking at least 10 pints.

TITANIC

A lady who goes down the first time out.

TODGER DODGER

A lesbian.

TWO-BAGGER or DOUBLE BAGGER

Someone that you'd need 2 paper bags to have sex with (one to cover their
head, and one to cover yours, just incase their bag falls off) ..

UP ON THE BLOCKS

Menstruating i.e. Out of action, a bit like a car in a garage, e.g. "I don't
think I'll be in luck tonight lads, the missus is up on the blocks".


VAGINA DECLINER

A homosexual (male)

WALLACE AND GROMIT

Rhyming slang for 'Vomit'.

WANK SIANCE

During a masturbation session, the eerie feeling that you're being watched
with disgust by your dead relatives.

WYNONA RYDER

Rhyming slang for 'cider'. e.g. "Pint of Wynona, half a Nelson and a bottle
of Tart Fuel please Doreen".

X-PILES

Unwanted visitors from Uranus.
 
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