Stupidest thing a E* Tech has ever told you?

HDTVFanAtic

SatelliteGuys Pro
Original poster
May 23, 2005
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After another fine telephone support issue yesterday, it got me wondering, is there are running thread of the stupidest thing a E* Tech has ever said on the phone?

Is there a running thread of the stupidest thing a E* CSR has ever said on the phone?

It seems both would be good for a laugh when needed.
 
How about when I had an install scheduled for yesterday and when they didn't show I called in and the CSR told me "somebody" closed by order. What a wasted day off from work.
 
HDTVFanAtic said:
Is there a running thread of the stupidest thing a E* CSR has ever said on the phone?

not that I know of but here is a good one.

Called to activate another recever on my dad's account for him. I purchased the recever from another member here who tells me its clean. (and I know it is as I have done business with him before)

Call Dish and they tell me "the original owner is not current so I can't release it"

Only one problem...the original owner is on auto pay. So I tell him that

"Sorry. He is not current so I cannot activate it"

(It was done the next day after the original owner called Dish) :)
 
Yesterday when after the 30 min argument about not replacing my defective receiver I was told my account was locked anyway and he would transfer me to billing and hung up.That was real slick.
 
Yeah, I got a stupid one. I was having a problem with a FM receiver picking up a station that I wanted, so I called the manufactorer and inquired whether if increasing my band width would help. This person, who could hardly speak English, put me on hold for about 15 minutes. When she came back to the phone her solution to my problem was for me to relocate closer to the station! Move so I can pick up a radio station, now that is crazy!!!
 
when I had my first vip 211, the first person actually told me they didnt support the 211, they couldnt find any info in their computer and it wasnt their reciever, then they put me on hold and activated it for me........... I do hate calling dish network-I wonder if there scripts give them a new english name for every person they talk to!
 
The guy who tried to convince me that because my DishPlayer was connected to a UPS battery unit, it couldn't maintain a signal lock. I had to plug it direct to the wall to prove he was wrong before he'd admit it was a software problem.
 
I know this isn't technical, but it rates a 10 on the stupid meter. :)

When I ordered my 508 several years ago Dish was having computer problems, the CSR kept apologizing, somehow during the order process their system or the CSR inserted OK (Oklahoma) instead of OR (Oregon) for my state. I caught the error when the CSR was confirming my shipping address and the CSR corrected it.

I received and activated my 508 with no problems. When I received my bill I noticed charges for state, county and city sales tax had been added (Oregon doesn't have a sales tax) total of about $15. I called Dish and explained the error, the CSR (Hispanic) tells me there is nothing they can do about the charges and I would have to talk to my local officials. I explain several more times that Oregon doesn't have a sales tax and that the charges shouldn't be on my bill. The CSR continues to insist that there is nothing he can do about the charges and again refers me to my local officials. Seeing that I'm getting nowhere, I ask to speak to the CSRs supervisor. After about 10 minutes on hold I finally get a supervisor (also hispanic). I explain the problem again, the supervisor says there is nothing he can do about my taxes and I need to take that up with my local government officials. By this time I am out of patience, I say again that Oregon does not have a sales tax. The supervisor seems baffled, he asks "when you purchase electronics at a local store you don't have to pay tax? I say no, Oregon doesn't have a sales tax! Several moments of silence follow, and then he repeats the same line about contacting my local officials. I lose it at that point and angrily slam down the phone.

I cool off overnight and try again the next morning. I get a knowlegable CSR in the Colorado call center. I explain the problem. He says "your right" Oregon doesn't have a sales tax, let me credit your account. I thank him and ask for his supervisor, I tell the supervisor that the CSR I just spoke to saved the company a customer and explain what I went through the previous day. The supervisor apologized, and gave me a $25 extra credit on my bill.


NightRyder
 
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Upon talking with the Tech installing my first 622, he told me that the 622 required two dedicated cable feeds and that the Dish Pro "signal seperator" would not work (I think he thought it was a splitter).

Once I showed him he was wrong, he tried to tell me that the 921 would work fine with only one satellite input connected and that the other cable (or signal seperator) was not needed to make it work.

...once he had the antenna pointed and peaked, I asked him to leave and that I would complete installation. ;)
 
Well this one wasn't from tech support but.....

Installer to me: Do you mind going on the roof to repoint that Dish? I'm afraid of heights. I'd rather stay here on the ground & watch the signal while you turn the dish.:eek:
 
Pepper said:
The guy who tried to convince me that because my DishPlayer was connected to a UPS battery unit, it couldn't maintain a signal lock. I had to plug it direct to the wall to prove he was wrong before he'd admit it was a software problem.

Some consumer UPS units have coaxial surge suppressors built in. Maybe they thought you were running your satellite cable through it? I don't know what the bandwidth of one is, but the last one I tried didn't even work right with my analog cable service.
 
They don't woory about the coax part. They just want you to unplug the AC from it. Really stupid try at a fix if you ask me. I run a UPS on the 622 and the 942. Seems to keep alot of problems from happening.
 
SouthRider said:
Well this one wasn't from tech support but.....

Installer to me: Do you mind going on the roof to repoint that Dish? I'm afraid of heights. I'd rather stay here on the ground & watch the signal while you turn the dish.:eek:

I think my mouth would have dropped if I had heard that. He certainly picked a great profession. But I would like to know...what did you say to him and did you go on the roof?
 
One Tech came in to install the D1000.... What he didn't say got to me. I have the 942 and the 622 hooked up to the 50". He got down on the floor and checked out the model numbers of both of them... I think that was the first time he had ever seen a HD DVR, much less two of them. I gave him a good demo before he left...
 
In your installer's defense, neither one of those receivers are what I call mainstream. I've installed more 622's than 942's. Pretty sad since the 942 has been out for a long while and the 622 just became available a few months ago.
 
When we first got locals around here...

A friend calls E* to inquire why locals work on one receiver and not the other..........Response...Locals are on spotbeams, one room must be in the spotbeam, but the other is too far away from the beam to get the channels.
 
I don't know if these qualify as stupid, but they were pretty interesting conversations...

Conversation #1
Me: Hello, I'd like to authorize and activate a new 622 with the DishHD Platinum/locals package.
CSR or Tech: You can't do that, you need a D1000.
Me: I live in the NE and have two antennae pointed at 110, 119, and 61.5... I can't use a D1000 in my location.
CSR or Tech: The computer says you need a D1000.
Me: OK, thank you for your time. <Click>

Conversation #2 (5 minutes later)
Me: Hello, I'd like to authorize and activate a new 622 with the DishHD Platinum/locals package.
CSR or Tech: I'm sorry, there's static on the line can you speak up? (line sounded fine to me)
Me (loud voice): Hello, I'd like to authorize and activate a new 622 with the DishHD Platinum/locals package.
CSR or Tech: What? I still can't hear you... (line still sounded fine to me) <Click>

Conversation #3 (another 5 minutes later)
Me: Hello, I'd like to authorize and activate a new 622 with the DishHD Platinum/locals package.
CSR or Tech: You may need a D1000.
Me: I live just north of Philadelphia and have two antennae pointed at 110, 119, and 61.5... I can't use a D1000 in my DMA.
CSR or Tech: OK, the computer says you need a DP34 switch.
Me: I have DPP Twin LNB's with one coax line going to a DP Separator/622 and another coax line going to an SD receiver.
CSR or Tech: Ummm... OK... what are the R and S numbers on your receiver?
Me: Thank you for your assistance.

I ended up with a zero charge on my account for a DP34 switch. Go figure!
 
During one of the last Tech Chats, I called to ask about HDLite, downconversion, and what resolution Dish is sending out on different channels.

After trying to explain HD to the "Level 2" Advanced Tech, he told me that it all depends on my TV. I tried to explain that my TV has no bearing on the signal that they are sending out, but he just couldn't comprehend.

I asked if there was anyone else there that I could talk to that understood HD, and he told me he's been doing this for two years now, and knows everything there is to know about HD.

He also told me to stay away from the Satelliteguys forum, and go over to DBSTalk, since there's a lot of bad information posted here.

Scott
 
Ordered my 622 and got an installation date close to a month later. The Saturday before the Tuesday install date I started to worry, phoned Dish Tech Support and asked for the UPS tracking number. The Tech told me the installer would be bringing the unit out with him, then later that hour UPS delivered the 622:)
 
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