Things that you learn in the South:

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Phottoman

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I posted a list once about being from MN, well, here's a little something I found about the South.

Things that you learn in the South:

A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.
If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
Onced and Twiced are words.
It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!
Jawl-P? means Did y'all go to the bathroom?
People actually grow and eat okra.
Fixinto is one word. It means I'm fixing to do that.
There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there is supper.
Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.
We talk slower cause it's too hot to waste engery
We don't understand folks that talk fast for the same reason.
The word jeet is actually a phrase meaning Did you eat?
You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.
Ya'll is singular, all ya'll is plural.
You measure distance in minutes.
You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.
You know what a DAWG is.
You carry jumper cables in your car - for your OWN car.|
You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Tony's, Tabasco and ketchup.
The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports and motorsports, and gossip.
The first day of deer season is a holiday.
You know what a hissy fit is.
Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite pastime known as goin |Wal-Martin' or off to Wally World.
You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chicken stew weather.
Fried catfish is the other white meat.
We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive, dag-nabbit.

You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the SOUTH. If ya wanna, ya could just send it to make a friend laugh cause if your REALLY from the South ya already know the best kept secret |in the whole Country. Ya have to be from & live here to know what it is.

I had NO REASON to post this other than to hope someone may have smiled.

Photto
 
Yep some of that sounds correct, lol.. I do have to correct the snake thing though. As far as Alabama is concerned, we "officially" only have three types of poisonous snakes: water moccasin, copperhead, and rattlesnakes (3 varieties of rattlers, one of which is almost extinct, the pygmy rattler). That's the word from the state conservation department anyway. And, if I remember the stats correctly, the water moccasin is the most deadly in terms of venom. So, we do have snakes, but most of them are not killers, unless you happen to be a mouse or other small varmint in the wild! But, try telling that to most people around here, haha. Some of them will crash a new car just to kill a snake on the road.
 
According to this- Nebraska is in the south? I always thought we were considered the midwest. Oh my mistake, Chicago and places there abouts is considered the midwest. I'm confused!

I always carry jumper cables for my own car, sometimes like yesterday a pair of squirrels. Had two of them nesting under the hood, was like the movie "Christmas Vacation" when I opened the hood of the van. Had to check out what the dawgs where having a fit about when I let them out in the morning. They thought it was lunch time (sorry, dinner) and the goods where under the hood.

Where's the beef! Attahed photos! P1010114.JPGP1010113.JPG
 
I always take ta shakin' my head an' lafin when I see those nature-alists wandarin' thru them there jungles in the amazon in short britches. You sure as shootin' better not do that down here. 'Cause your (or is it you're, or is it y'all) are right, evrythin' either sticks or bites in the south. I guess that could be a motto - The South Bites, That's why we're stuck here.

I did smile, but ya hadta look real close to see it.

DRCars
 
We used to be considered part of the south, I knew all that stuff and more. Now we have about 50 percent yankee transplants. I now hear a lot of yous, pop, and other northern lingo around here. Somebody else must like the bugs and snakes to.
 
Some say Kentucky is the Midwest, others say it is the South, some say it is MidSouth.
Truth is its all of the above! Other items.... Louisville is pronounced Lou-ah-ville . Abe Lincoln was born in Kentucky. "United We Stand Divided We Fall" is the state motto. "Unbridled Spirit" (with a picture of a horse..of course) is the current state slogan and is also on our license plates. "In God We Trust" is an alternative license plate slogan. We only have one license plate on our vehicles. Speed Limit is 70 MPH, though some people think I-75 means the speed limit there...and going five miles over that is pretty much normal. Most common out of state license plates seen, Ohio, Indiana, Michigan, Tennessee, Georgia, Florida, and of course Ontario. Driving from Cincinnati into Kentucky...it only takes about 15 minutes before you start seeing farmland and horses.
 
It sure fire gits cornfusing when I cross the border into Kentucky people tell me...do I need a passport? I think Northern Ky is considered part of the south. My great grandpa had a furniture store right across the street in Corbin from the original Harland (Colonel) Sanders Motel. Dad and them ate the colonels chicken before the rest of the world knew what it even was. Anyway my grandpa used to say "down in the holler" and "It's a fur piece (far piece) down home. I'm proud of my hillbilly heritage! Anyone ever eat squirrel? Seriously it does taste like chicken
Blind
 
A few more southern lexicon:

Walmark - the place everybody goes on Friday nights in their fancy dress or pajamas.
Foam - that thang people talk on while they're traipsin' around Walmark.
Momonym - Your mother and her immediate and extended family. You'll likely find Momonym at Walmark or talkin' on the Foam.
eyeFoam - a fancy kind of Foam that drug dealers and kids use to send text messages, but old people can't figure out cause it don't have no rotary dial.
 
Yep, I've eaten squirrel. I thought it tasted like lead pellets. ;)
 
Ya'll is singular, all ya'll is plural.
That's what we use. The next town over uses You'uns (singular) and You'unses (plural).

Rattlesnakes scare me a little, but copperheads are just a nuisance. Not any cottonmouths around here.

It sure fire gits cornfusing when I cross the border into Kentucky people tell me...do I need a passport?
Not till you get to Winchester. We consider anything North of there part of Ohio.

One saying you left out... Hotter than a fence lizard.
 
I am a Floridian by birth and was raised southern and heard most all of the slang till I moved to South Carolina. The one that got me most was HOSE PIPE aka garden hose or just plain hose.
 
Well, as a former resident of Florida during my 'formative' years, I have to say, it was REAL easy to tell a native born Floridian. They all had excessive nasal hair ... to filter out the "noseeums." (no-see-ums, little smaller 'en a gnat, loves ta fly up yer nose)

Photto
 
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