1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner
table in front of her kids.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same
in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls
on a different night.
5. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people."
6. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so
clean.
7. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey
y'all watch this."
8. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
9. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
10. Your junior prom had a daycare.
11. You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are,
"Gentlemen, start your engines."
12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded
right off its wheels.
13. The tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 dollars worth
of improvement.
14. You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.
15. You've asked the preacher "How's it hangin?"
16. You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.
17. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
18. Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth
and you take them out to see what it is.
19. You've stared at a can of orange juice because it said
concentrate.
20. You've been too drunk to fish.
21. You don't understand why the first 20 of these are funny.
2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner
table in front of her kids.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same
in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls
on a different night.
5. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people."
6. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so
clean.
7. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey
y'all watch this."
8. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
9. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
10. Your junior prom had a daycare.
11. You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are,
"Gentlemen, start your engines."
12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded
right off its wheels.
13. The tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 dollars worth
of improvement.
14. You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.
15. You've asked the preacher "How's it hangin?"
16. You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.
17. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
18. Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth
and you take them out to see what it is.
19. You've stared at a can of orange juice because it said
concentrate.
20. You've been too drunk to fish.
21. You don't understand why the first 20 of these are funny.
