Getting old sucks

[osu1991]

Moved my mom from long term care to hospice care a couple weeks ago after a stay in the ER. Under hospice care she was suddenly improving and back to normal then yesterday she was kind of all over the place mentally and verbally. This morning just in bed staring at the wall mumbling. No signs of a stroke and bloodwork came back negative for any infections. She'll perk up if she sees the grandsons or if it talking to a nurse she'll try to tell them all about me. Hospice is saying the end is near now, probably a few days to a week.

They're giving her some morphine for pain since she isn't swallowing her normal meds. I'd prefer she not linger in pain. My dad I spent 3 months staying at the hospital 24/7 with him before he passed because Covid protocols wouldn't let any other visitors come and wanted someone there to make any decisions.


When my time comes. I hope to just go in my sleep.

 

[comfortably_numb]

When my time comes. I hope to just go in my sleep.

Indeed. I fear the nursing home more than death itself, and the burden it would place on my family.

 

[navychop]

The night we moved my son from hospital to hospice was rough. He was in a lot of pain. I think the hospital was undertreating his pain so he wouldn't die on them and negatively affect their stats.

Hospice took care of that. Pain greatly lessened. Died that night.

 

[Bobby]

I am finding that hospice care is now usually less than a week. I think that is a good thing, the patient has no suffering and the it doesn't linger. It is always sad for the survivors but it is best for the patient.

OSU, I am sending good vibes to you and your mom.

 

[osu1991]

The night we moved my son from hospital to hospice was rough. He was in a lot of pain. I think the hospital was undertreating his pain so he wouldn't die on them and negatively affect their stats.

Hospice took care of that. Pain greatly lessened. Died that night.

That's how it was with my dad. We should have moved him to hospice a week or so earlier but were unaware of our options then and he seemed like he was close to getting better.

After I lost my temper with staff over the delay in his pain meds, they were due 2hrs earlier and I had asked twice but there was only one nurse supposedly authorized for those narcotics and she was swamped, we moved him to hospice that night after I got all the family there to agree even though it was mine and my sisters decision to make. He passed the next afternoon.

 

[telstar_1]

what a system

 

[NYDutch]

I am finding that hospice care is now usually less than a week. I think that is a good thing, the patient has no suffering and the it doesn't linger. It is always sad for the survivors but it is best for the patient.

OSU, I am sending good vibes to you and your mom.

My daughter was in hospice care for almost seven weeks before she died. She was somewhat lucid for the first couple of weeks before she drifted into a coma. She wasn't in any pain due to the morphine she was given.

 

[Foxbat]

My Step-Mom was in a Memory Unit and had various ups and downs until one day she took a turn for the worse and stopped eating. We were able to get her into Hospice on-site and apparently she thrived with the added attention. She started eating and regained the weight she had lost, and had to leave Hospice care.

She lived for another 16 months before her eventual death. Everyone has their own unique journey. God be with you and your family, osu1991.

 

[Jimbo]

Hospice doesn't mean you've only got a few weeks left anymore ...

My good friend went on Hospice for a good couple of Months ... they cover a lot more time than they use to.
Some people go a lot longer ...

The big thing was when she went on Hospice, Everything Medical was covered by them ... that was a big thing in her mind.

 

[harshness]

Everything Medical was covered by them ... that was a big thing in her mind.

That's a big thing on everyone's mind. Nobody wants to be a burden or financially ruined by medical costs.

 

[telstar_1]

My Step-Mom was in a Memory Unit and had various ups and downs until one day she took a turn for the worse and stopped eating. We were able to get her into Hospice on-site and apparently she thrived with the added attention. She started eating and regained the weight she had lost, and had to leave Hospice care.

She lived for another 16 months before her eventual death. Everyone has their own unique journey. God be with you and your family, osu1991.

That's what I find most wrong with the system- this bifurcation in care. One standard if you're living and another, often in some ways better, standard if you are deemed to be dying.

 

[osu1991]

Made funeral arrangements this morning, just waiting now

 

[dfergie]

Made funeral arrangements this morning, just waiting now

So sorry to hear, rough times ahead, thoughts your way. Today is 32nd anniversary of my Dad's passing, some days and dates stick with you. (He was my age now when he passed)

 

[navychop]

When I reached the age when my Dad died, - well, I had a nervous year.

 

[comfortably_numb]

wrong with the system

The system is designed for us to die, and if you don't, the insurers and lawyers use you as a pawn to extract as much out of that system as possible. It's unethical, immoral and sad.

 

[osu1991]

Tough sitting here watching someone slowly pass.

 

[navychop]

Understood, in the shadows. I was there almost every day for my best friend (& then boss) until he passed. I was the ONE that took him to almost all of his doctor visits.

No, I'm not breaking my arm patting my back. It was DUTY.

 

[cp2k]

You have my sympathy, and I agree watching parents age is very difficult. My parents are 70 & 68, but both have aged rapidly over the past year or so. My mother has been a big smoker for years, and had a mild stroke a few years ago. At that point she was diagnosed with a leaky heart valve. She has an implanted heart monitor that sends alerts to her phone, and dad says it has been going off more frequently. A few months ago the cardiologist told her it was getting worse, but she doesn't want to have surgery. I haven't pressed the issue, as I see the decision as hers to make- not mine. It's clear there is more to it than she is telling because recently she's been making an alphabetic list of all of their login/passwords. Dad's parents both died young at 63 & 64, so I think he has been paranoid for many years now.

They pre-planned their funerals a few months ago, down to ordering the headstone and everything, so thankfully those are decisions I don't have to make someday on my own.

 

[arlo]

I am SO sorry for everyone's losses. I need to pause for a moment and think back. Dammit.
My sis Cindy battled cancer for some 8 years. She volunteered for experimental treatments that are helping others survive today. She was a trooper. She was at Strong Memorial in Rochester NY. A teaching hospital.
It was cool when her doctor came in with a group of students and my sis took the stage.
Describing the meds she was receiving and the effects that she was experiencing. The doc stood with his arms folded. "Well, there you have it".
Went into remission for 5 years. When it came back she asked me to come back home. And when I found her in her room at the hospital in an induced coma. I was strong.
They brought her out of her little world for a bit.
She told me sincerely. "Did you hear?" With an eerie, relieved, calm look in her eyes.
"If you see anyone sad for me, tell I don't want them to be and tell them to stop".
"Tell them to remember all of the good times we had together".
It was a couple of hours later. Yeah.
SatGuys forgive me. That made a f*****g tear drizzle down from my eye.

 

[osu1991]

And it's over. She's at peace now. 940pm central