Twas the Night Before the Remote

Newspath Junkie

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Jul 28, 2020
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NYC
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the land.
The children were settled with presents in hand.
The coax was strung to the uplink with care
Assuring the network would be on the air.
The talents were snuggled secure in their shows
while visions of grandeur stroked their egos.
When out at the dish farm there arose such a clatter,
I looked at my monitor to see what was the matter!
And what to my bloodshot eyes should appear,
But the uplink reflector fouled with a sleigh and reindeer!
'Shucks!!', I yelled (or something like that),
The backup was on-line in three seconds flat.
I ran to the uplink, stepped on ice smooth as glass-
did a backwards half-gainer, landed flat on my butt!
As I rounded the corner, I saw- Such a sight!
A security guard and Santa in one nasty fight!
Then back to the sleigh he leaped with a bound-
'Its time to get this darn sleigh off the ground!!'
He cursed and he swore and held tight to the reigns,
'Don't look down the feed tube or you'll microwave your brains!!'
As they slid off the dish I did have to smile,
The reindeer and Santa in one snowy pile.
Old Santa recovered, (the deer did the same),
He spit and he sputtered and called them by name-
'Now Dasher, Now Dancer, Now Prancer and Vixen,
On Comet, On Cupid, On Donner and Blitzen
To the top of the truck, watch out for that wall-
If you don't miss their tower you will kill us all!'
And I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight-
'To heck with you all, its been one special night!!'
(or something like that)

Christmas greetings sent to CBS News circa mid 1990s.
 
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FTA4PA

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Twas the night before Christmas and all through the land.
The children were settled with presents in hand.
The coax was strung to the uplink with care
Assuring the network would be on the air.
The talents were snuggled secure in their shows
while visions of grandeur stroked their egos.
When out at the dish farm there arose such a clatter,
I looked at my monitor to see what was the matter!
And what to my bloodshot eyes should appear,
But the uplink reflector fouled with a sleigh and reindeer!
'Shucks!!', I yelled (or something like that),
The backup was on-line in three seconds flat.
I ran to the uplink, stepped on ice smooth as glass-
did a backwards half-gainer, landed flat on my butt!
As I rounded the corner, I saw- Such a sight!
A security guard and Santa in one nasty fight!
Then back to the sleigh he leaped with a bound-
'Its time to get this darn sleigh off the ground!!'
He cursed and he swore and held tight to the reigns,
'Don't look down the feed tube or you'll microwave your brains!!'
As they slid off the dish I did have to smile,
The reindeer and Santa in one snowy pile.
Old Santa recovered, (the deer did the same),
He spit and he sputtered and called them by name-
'Now Dasher, Now Dancer, Now Prancer and Vixen,
On Comet, On Cupid, On Donner and Blitzen
To the top of the truck, watch out for that wall-
If you don't miss their tower you will kill us all!'
And I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight-
'To heck with you all, its been one special night!!'
(or something like that)

Christmas greetings sent to CBS News circa mid 1990s.
Welcome to Satellite Guys! That's great - thanks for posting! :D
 

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