Want to see "Meteor"? Watch the 70's version

TNGTony

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Sep 7, 2003
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Cincinnati, Ohio, USA
I recorded Meteor and am now starting to watch the first half of this NBC Extravaganza. My initial reaction is OH...MY...GOD! Can anyone write a script without referring the the "Encyclopedia of plot twists in disaster movies" by Irwin Allen?

(Possible spoilers, not that it really matters...this is an awful movie)

Like the 70's ABC version which stars Sean Connery, Martin Landau, Karl Maulden, and Brian Keith, the new movie which really only shares the name , this two part movie stars some big "has been" names such as Christopher Lloyd (who is killed off in the first half hour, Jason Alexander and Stacy Keach in his best 1980's era Brian Denihe impersonation. Actors with big names who could not get another gig!

Again like the 70s version, Meteor begins with a comet striking a large stable asteroid in the asteroid belt. In the 70s it was Orpheus. In this movie its a smaller asteroid but no less a "planet killer".

Disaster movies are limited by their very nature and all have to follow a particular formula to do their job, which is to terrify and excite us. To do this they have to introduce characters and make us care about them. They have to put these characters in harrowing situations and even kill a few of them off in interesting and jarring ways. Look at any disaster movie and you will see this formula.

Arguably the best "meteor from outer space" movie made is "Deep Impact" (not to be confused with the formerly worst ever meteor from outer space movie "Impact" on ABC a few weeks ago). In this theatrical movie we are introduced to several characters and really made to care about each and every one of them. They are all in the same predicament and some die in a way that evokes the proper emotional response from the audience. Though in that movie the only person who knows about the incoming threat is killed needlessly at the beginning of the movie, it plays into the plot pretty well. And most importantly, the script is intelligent. The science in the story holds true. "Deep Impact" though far from perfect is the standard for the genre.

The NBC version of Meteor is the antithesis of "Deep Impact". The movie starts to introduce us to the cast of characters who were all chosen from the "Irwin Allen book of Characters" with not even two dimensions. Though this is a global event, all the characters are from such far flung places as Los Angeles, Baja, JPL in California and another small town in the Imperial Valley.

Let me see if I can sum the bad script in a nutshell here. Not even two thirds into the first part of this disaster of a disaster movie and we have:

Meteor fragments hit in mid-town NYC, a plane in flight, directly in front of a house where the town doctor lives, and hours later, the doctor's son's school bus. (never mind the Earth has rotated 180° from the path of the debris by this time.--don't bother me with science facts). All the major impacts are within the southern California basin save the one shown in NYC.

We have not one, but TWO women who independently run out of gas in their cars while on critical trips. One results in the most unlikely hit and run accident which kills Christopher Lloyd. Later a truck driver who seems very menacing picks the woman up and leaves her at a police station. Just when you think the woman is safe, oh no...the police station was taken over by badidos who abduct her. Oh, did I mention that this woman has critical information that can literally save the world? Of course she does!

This entire movie so far has been the textbook definition of the bad, predicatable, idiotic, unrealistic disaster movie. Hurricane, Towering Inferno, Earthquake and Tsunami are masterpieces next to this hunk of steaming crap called "Meteor". Heck, the 1970's version was a fabulous example of movie making in comparison. At least in that version people knew how to ACT!!!

See ya
Tony
 
LOL. Glad I missed this one.

Put a cutout of the MST3K guys along the bottom of your screen, it will make the movie better.
 
I was thinking the same thing! I can see Joel, Crow and Tom Servo doing a number on this movie. :)

I know after my initial "what the hell" moments I decided to play the part of Joel and started with my running commentary.

See ya
Tony
 
I saw the title "Meteor" and remembered seeing the old one, so I thought it was a repeat. After reading your review I'm glad I passed on it.
 
I missed the first part, but I have been watching the 2nd part this evening. It's so bad that I am pressing my shirt for tomorrow, checking email, calling my brother, posting on SatGuys, etc. El Stinko! I regret recording this show on the Tivo because I get the feeling NBC will get credit for my watching this show when, in fact, it was unwatchable.
 
If the movie physics hold true then the meteor will come to 22 feet, be struck by a satellite and be deflected right to a small town in the imperial valley and strike a nuclear power plant!

See ya
Tony
 

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