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Christmas Survival Quiz
In this holiday season, the presents are under the tree, the good feelings are flowing... then the criminals kick into high gear and you have to see your family. Every bit of good is offset with a little bit of bad. Can you thrive and survive this holiday season? Take this quiz and find out.
PART I: THE NIGHT BEFORE X-MAS
1: When up on the roof there arises such a clatter, you...
A. Jump out of bed shouting "Santa's here!"
B. Jump out of bed shouting "What the %&!@ was that?!"
C. Grab a shotgun and start firing toward the sound of footsteps.
2: Finish this famous line from a X-mas tradition: "On..."
A. "a gada da vida."
B. "top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese..."
C. "Cupid, on Comet, on Donder and Blitzen!"
3: By the way, what is a Blitzen?
A. An incredible drink with five kinds of rum.
B. Isn't it that thing they serve with jam at a deli?
C. A reindeer, stupid!
4: If a fat man in a red suit gives you a wink and twists his head, this means...
A. He's Santa!
B. He's got a facial tick!
C. He's gonna show you the candy cane he's got hidden in his pants!
5: How do you answer when the kids ask you when Santa will come?
A. About thirty minutes after Mrs. Claus says she's in the mood.
B. Ever since he got hired by Microsoft... Easter.
C. When all the little boys and girls are asleep.
PART II: A FAMILY KIND OF X-MAS
6: It's December 23 and you finally realize you'd better buy some gifts. What do you do?
A. Rush to the mall. Since everyone else shopped early it should be fairly empty, right?
B. Rush to McDonalds and buy every book of gift certificates they have.
C. Rush to the liquor store. You can't go wrong with vodka!
7: If you want to have a peaceful visit, the best topic to discuss with Dad is...
A. Why you don't believe in God anymore.
B. Politics.
C. The weather.
8: When Mom starts asking those questions you really don't want to answer, you...
A. Turn red, start shouting, and leave the house in a huff.
B. Say "oh look, an elf" and hide while she's distracted.
C. Lie and hope she's had so much spiked eggnog that she won't remember a thing in the morning.
9: The family's singing "Deck The Halls." When you get to "Don we now our gay apparel," your bachelor uncle starts crying, then admits that for the past seventeen years he's been secretly living with someone named Don who is all alone tonight. You...
A. Tell him to invite Don over to join in the festivities.
B. Try to protect him from your father who is loudly pronouncing that God will punish him!
C. Start a fire in the kitchen to take everyone's mind off it.
10: The videotape to rent for the big family get-together this X-mas is...
A. It's A Wonderful Life... because they expect it.
B. It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown... because it's the only video left in the store.
C. ID4... because all the kids will side with you and the adults will give in rather than hear them whine.
SCORING THE QUIZ:
As always, the scoring is simple. 1 point for every A, 3 for every B, and 5 for every C. Tally up your points and consult the chart below.
10-22 Points:
In the words of Mr. T., "I pity the fool" who gets this score. You're in for a bad X-mas. We're talking a riding in the black van in "Twister" kind of X-mas. Then again, X-mas is supposed to be the time for miracles, but I wouldn't count on it.
24-38 Points:
You remember question #6? Read answer C, then buy yourself a gift too. You're going to need it.
40-50 Points:
You're at or close to the right mixture of distrust and dishonesty that will help you have a safe and sane X-mas. Just remember this final simple rule to help you get through it... It's not the gift itself that counts, but whether or not they kept the receipt.
In this holiday season, the presents are under the tree, the good feelings are flowing... then the criminals kick into high gear and you have to see your family. Every bit of good is offset with a little bit of bad. Can you thrive and survive this holiday season? Take this quiz and find out.
PART I: THE NIGHT BEFORE X-MAS
1: When up on the roof there arises such a clatter, you...
A. Jump out of bed shouting "Santa's here!"
B. Jump out of bed shouting "What the %&!@ was that?!"
C. Grab a shotgun and start firing toward the sound of footsteps.
2: Finish this famous line from a X-mas tradition: "On..."
A. "a gada da vida."
B. "top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese..."
C. "Cupid, on Comet, on Donder and Blitzen!"
3: By the way, what is a Blitzen?
A. An incredible drink with five kinds of rum.
B. Isn't it that thing they serve with jam at a deli?
C. A reindeer, stupid!
4: If a fat man in a red suit gives you a wink and twists his head, this means...
A. He's Santa!
B. He's got a facial tick!
C. He's gonna show you the candy cane he's got hidden in his pants!
5: How do you answer when the kids ask you when Santa will come?
A. About thirty minutes after Mrs. Claus says she's in the mood.
B. Ever since he got hired by Microsoft... Easter.
C. When all the little boys and girls are asleep.
PART II: A FAMILY KIND OF X-MAS
6: It's December 23 and you finally realize you'd better buy some gifts. What do you do?
A. Rush to the mall. Since everyone else shopped early it should be fairly empty, right?
B. Rush to McDonalds and buy every book of gift certificates they have.
C. Rush to the liquor store. You can't go wrong with vodka!
7: If you want to have a peaceful visit, the best topic to discuss with Dad is...
A. Why you don't believe in God anymore.
B. Politics.
C. The weather.
8: When Mom starts asking those questions you really don't want to answer, you...
A. Turn red, start shouting, and leave the house in a huff.
B. Say "oh look, an elf" and hide while she's distracted.
C. Lie and hope she's had so much spiked eggnog that she won't remember a thing in the morning.
9: The family's singing "Deck The Halls." When you get to "Don we now our gay apparel," your bachelor uncle starts crying, then admits that for the past seventeen years he's been secretly living with someone named Don who is all alone tonight. You...
A. Tell him to invite Don over to join in the festivities.
B. Try to protect him from your father who is loudly pronouncing that God will punish him!
C. Start a fire in the kitchen to take everyone's mind off it.
10: The videotape to rent for the big family get-together this X-mas is...
A. It's A Wonderful Life... because they expect it.
B. It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown... because it's the only video left in the store.
C. ID4... because all the kids will side with you and the adults will give in rather than hear them whine.
SCORING THE QUIZ:
As always, the scoring is simple. 1 point for every A, 3 for every B, and 5 for every C. Tally up your points and consult the chart below.
10-22 Points:
In the words of Mr. T., "I pity the fool" who gets this score. You're in for a bad X-mas. We're talking a riding in the black van in "Twister" kind of X-mas. Then again, X-mas is supposed to be the time for miracles, but I wouldn't count on it.
24-38 Points:
You remember question #6? Read answer C, then buy yourself a gift too. You're going to need it.
40-50 Points:
You're at or close to the right mixture of distrust and dishonesty that will help you have a safe and sane X-mas. Just remember this final simple rule to help you get through it... It's not the gift itself that counts, but whether or not they kept the receipt.
0 Replies
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980 views
Staff member
HERE TO HELP YOU!
Cutting Edge
Sometimes a thread gets so many posts in it that is can cause issues for the server so that why today we introduce The Song Name Game Part 3!
So let the game continue!
The last song was added by Bobby who posted...
One Meat Ball - Andrews Sisters
CONTINUE ON AND HAVE FUN! WELCOME HOME TO SATELLITEGUYS.US!
Here are the original rules for the game as posted by WebbyDude back in 2006. http://www.satelliteguys.us/threads/68645-Song-Name-Game
Just name a song title and the band who performed it. The next person does the same thing, but needs to list a song title or band name which includes a word from the previous entry. Pick songs from any genre.
Example:
Long Live Rock and Roll -- Rainbow
Rainbow in the Dark -- Dio
Another example:
Ride the Lightning -- Metallica
Lightning Strikes -- Ozzy Osbourne
Get it?
An additional note: we all know that song titles, sometimes, use profane words. Because this is a family friendly website it is advised that you clean up that title up a bit. This is accomplished by using something like sh!t instead of the real word. Thanks....
So let the game continue!
The last song was added by Bobby who posted...
One Meat Ball - Andrews Sisters
CONTINUE ON AND HAVE FUN! WELCOME HOME TO SATELLITEGUYS.US!
Here are the original rules for the game as posted by WebbyDude back in 2006. http://www.satelliteguys.us/threads/68645-Song-Name-Game
Just name a song title and the band who performed it. The next person does the same thing, but needs to list a song title or band name which includes a word from the previous entry. Pick songs from any genre.
Example:
Long Live Rock and Roll -- Rainbow
Rainbow in the Dark -- Dio
Another example:
Ride the Lightning -- Metallica
Lightning Strikes -- Ozzy Osbourne
Get it?
An additional note: we all know that song titles, sometimes, use profane words. Because this is a family friendly website it is advised that you clean up that title up a bit. This is accomplished by using something like sh!t instead of the real word. Thanks....
68663 Replies
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2680532 views
Staff member
Pub Member / Supporter
Cutting Edge
The TPN Map Excel Presents all DIRECTV Channels:
Understanding the TPN Map
Making Sense of the TPN Map Display Conventions
National (50-States or wide/NAT+PR beams)
Local (Local-Into-Local or narrow/Spot beams)
Local (Local-Into-Local or narrow/Spot beams)
Additional tabs provide:
OTA the (Over-The-Air) Database
VOD (Video On_Demand) Records
Offline Records
Engr Records
Net Decoder a graphic presentation of all satellites and transponders
VOD (Video On_Demand) Records
Offline Records
Engr Records
Net Decoder a graphic presentation of all satellites and transponders
Domestic Satellites
@99W...... D11, D14
@101W.... D16
@103W.... D12, D15
@110W.... D5
@119W.... D8
@99W...... D11, D14
@101W.... D16
@103W.... D12, D15
@110W.... D5
@119W.... D8
Understanding the TPN Map
Making Sense of the TPN Map Display Conventions
2171 Replies
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945872 views
Supporting Founder
Patrick Stewart died yesterday, October 28th at the age of 86. We lost yet another great actor. 
www.hollywoodreporter.com
Patrick Stewart, ‘Star Trek’ Captain and ‘X-Men’ Superhero, Dies at 86
He’s forever known for playing Jean-Luc Picard and Charles Xavier, whom he “admired for their morality, for their kindness, for their sensitivity, for their compassion.”
www.hollywoodreporter.com
9 Replies
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95 views
Supporting Founder
Since the Reds have there thread we should too!
Last watched Nine inch Nails
Next 3:10 to Yuma
Last watched Nine inch Nails
Next 3:10 to Yuma
5393 Replies
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511120 views
Last of the Dogmen is my favorite of hers.
Pub Member / Supporter
Lifetime Supporter
Good...simple humor. Enjoy
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E92AtfTLge4
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJy0WnejlF4
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E92AtfTLge4
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJy0WnejlF4
6 Replies
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111 views
Pub Member / Supporter
Lifetime Supporter
It states the average amount they are under water is OVER $7,000. 
Personally, I tend to be the type that drives a vehicle for a lot of years....do my own oil changes and other fluid changes. Just replaced the spark plugs and a couple coils. Youtube is great for things like this.
www.zerohedge.com
Personally, I tend to be the type that drives a vehicle for a lot of years....do my own oil changes and other fluid changes. Just replaced the spark plugs and a couple coils. Youtube is great for things like this.
Nearly 3 In 10 New-Car Trade-Ins Are Underwater, Edmunds Finds<!-- --> | ZeroHedge
ZeroHedge - On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero
www.zerohedge.com
1 Replies
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45 views
For some reason, the satelliteguys.us site is loading a lot slower than usual on both Chrome on my Asus laptop and Safari on my iPhone.
I'm also seeing longer appearances of the blue bar at the top and the "3 blue bars" loading symbol.
Is anyone else also having the same problem? Thanks in advance.
I'm also seeing longer appearances of the blue bar at the top and the "3 blue bars" loading symbol.
Is anyone else also having the same problem? Thanks in advance.
554 Replies
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19779 views
When I heard about this exploit I was wondering how quick you would be on it.
12 minutes after the patch was release I had it patched.When I heard about this exploit I was wondering how quick you would be on it.
OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!
Aww- nevermind.
Aww- nevermind.
Supporting Founder
Pub Member / Supporter
Apple Fall Hardware Event takes place today, September 9, 2026, at 10:00 a.m. PT / 1:00 p.m. ET. It marks the debut of new CEO John Ternus and the expected reveal of Apple's first foldable phone.
138 Replies
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1851 views
S
when was the last time they innovated something
I'd probably say when they came up with their M-series of processors with integrated memory. That allowed Apple to get away from the inefficient Intel CPUs that were limiting their notebook computers.when was the last time they innovated something
Over the past few weeks, I have had problems connecting to streaming services (Netflix, HBO et al). When I go to the TV's native Channels, I have no problem. The Dish internet troubleshooter shows I have a good internet connection. I'm wondering whether it's an issue with my internet provider or a problem with the Dish software on the Hopper Plus. Anyone else seeing this?
3 Replies
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168 views
Lifetime Supporter
Starting a thread klang !
After an amazing first 2 seasons and an 8 episode 3rd season still coming this year, season 4 has now been greenlit.
After an amazing first 2 seasons and an 8 episode 3rd season still coming this year, season 4 has now been greenlit.
11 Replies
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1005 views
