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ATTENTION - INCLUDES ALL NEW AND IMPROVED THEORY ABOUT MiCROSTUTTERS and OTHER STUFF

vurbano said:

Prozac prescription run out?

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Naw, I was kinda in that golden moment before the morning's adderall had run out and the afternoon adderall is kicking in nice and I got kinda carried away and into hyperfocus. I do want to stress I wasn't trying to be mean spirited or start some kind of feud. I just keep running into posts of yours about WorldSport where I have opinions almost diametrically opposed to yours and I'm just trying to find a way to channel my response (or future responses) so that instead of being pissy, stuffy, combative, and full of overly opinionated self-important pronouncements (hey, what a second, isn't that THE point of Internet discussion forums ) they are a little more fun.


But then I just got kinda carried away and self-amused there at the end of the post.


So, anyway, I hope you don't think I was being a jerk or anything.


Not that I think it's overly important that we kinda bond over this and become buddies - well, virtual buddies I guess - but, anyway. I'm not going to lose sleep about it - not that your going to lose sleep about it either.


Ok, I guess that's all I want to say about it. Well, I don't mean that like there is anymore to say and I don't want to say it. There just isn't anymore to say. Which I guess I should have said in the first place.

So, to sum it up:

1. didn't intend to be mean
2. don't want to start some kind of silly feud
3. just trying to channel difference of opinion in a fun way
4. got kinda carried away at the end of the post with self-amusement
5. nothing else to say about it


So that's it and I'm going to end my post. Going to end it right now.


you know, I do have something else to say. And it's directed to anyone that's interested.


Funky Monkey Midget

try it, it's kinda fun to say

Funky Monkey Midget

Funky Monkey Midget

it's fun

I didn't come up with it, Funky Monkey Midget, in case anyone wants to know.

this local band has a song with that in it. I haven't actually seen the band but they were being interviewed on this saturday morning radio show I was listening to on this station here in Dallas. The Ticket. KTCK in Dallas. Sports Radio 1310 but it's not really just sports radio. The hosts of the shows aren't the typical sports radio guys trying to be Jim Rome or working on their sports announcer voices and schtick so that one day they can be one of the anchors on SportsCenter while taking calls about whether Orlando Cepeda would have been a better hitter than Mickey Cochran if they had both played in the deadball era and Cepada had to play catcher while Cochran had to keep his left eye, not the right eye just the left, from blinking throughout the duration of the entire game - even if the game went into extra innings. It's not that they don't talk sports at all, I mean it is Sports Radio 1310 the ticket so there has to be some sports talk, but the hosts spend a lot of time talking about popular culture stuff like movies and sopranos and it ends up being more like "guy talk" radio only you can't call it that because Guy Talk radio sounds just a little too, you know, so instead you call it Sports Talk which would be the biggest component of Guy Talk radio anyway. So anyway, I was listening to the Ticket this one Saturday morning and the show is hosted by the weekday guy who does all the comedy bits for the Monday- Friday morning hosts. On Saturday he gets to have his own show and usually I don't listen to it because the Saturday morning show isn't usually all that good. The host guy can be pretty funny during the week but he just kinda mails it in on Saturday mornings. Basically, he just takes screenless calls from all these guys who have been waiting all week to call in and say something like "Deese Nuts" or in some sort of funny voice they say "I just made poopy in my pants". I know you've heard some sort of call like that before on a radio or TV show. It's really stupid. Do people think that's funny? Are there other guys there watching and listening and then the guy calls in and screams out "Deese Nuts" and all the other guys are like, "Dude, that is so cool. I can't stop laughing". Personally, I just don't see it. OK, I'm willing to grant that maybe, just maybe, the first time someone said "Deese Nuts" it could have been funny. I'm really skeptical about it though - even more skeptical about it than the microstutters on all the Voom channels although I guess now it's been confirmed that the microstutters do exist since that guy posted that email he got from Wilt the Voom guy who said the issue is solved in the latest beta of the firmware. Well, happen might be the better word to use than exist because I don't want to deal with all the implications that "exist" implies. Although, I was thinking about this the other day, not because I was trying to find a way to prove that I was really right about the fact the microstutters didn't exist...sorry...about the fact that they didn't happen... maybe occur is even better....about the fact that the microstutters weren't really occurring....no happen was better...about the fact that the so-called microstutters weren't really happening.Instead the so-called quote unquote microstutters were really just some manifestation of, for lack of better term, display anxiety that some guys with high end video equipment kinda manifest, you know what I'm talking about, the video poobahs who see things that the human eye wasn't really meant to see but somehow they do. Probably some sort of genetic thing - you know kinda like the Xmen but not all cool like the XMen because were talking about the ability to see, by eyesight, that the overall picture of a TV display is set 7 degrees kelvin to warm and stuff as opposed to Wolverine who is cool because he can eviscerate his enemies with cool razor sharp Titanium claws and stuff like that. I'm not trying to dis the other thing you know. It's not that it's bad or wrong or anything. I'm just saying, if it was a matter of choice where someone said that you could chose from one of two genetic mutations we all know which one we would choose. That's all I'm saying. Anyway, what I thought about was that maybe Wilt the Voom guy is just saying that the newest firmware will take care of the problem. Do you get where I'm going here? Do you? See, maybe the Voom guys don't believe in the so-called quote unquote microstutters either. None of them see the so-called quote unquote squint real hard and stand and one leg and you can see 'em microstutters. But all of these people - well, "all of these" is kinda much isn't it? I mean 30 or 40 people posting on an Internet discussion board where it's well know that all the most obsessively picky video poobahs congregate to dissect, pixel by pixel, the performance - perceived performance I wish to stress - of their preferred satellite provider's pictures and sound. Well, anyway, the point I'm trying to make, or maybe it's the conspiracy I'm trying to expose...wait, stop for a second and let your mind around that, just let that idea soak in good and deep...the conspiracy, THE CONSPIRACY i tell ya, the conspiracy I'm uncovering like I'm Woodward and Bernstein all rolled into one is that maybe the Voom guys have made a calculated decision that even though they, the Voom guys, think the so-called quote unquote run out and stare at the sun for a minute and then come back and squint real hard and stand on one leg and then you can see 'em microstutter issue is simply the figment of the overly active imaginative imagination of a small group of picky and persnickety video poobahs. And the Voom guys, being clever Voom guys and all, decided to go along with the mass madness of the hallucinatory few and they say that the so-called quote unquote run outside and stare at the sun for a minute come back in get some salt rub it into your eyes squint real hard and stand on one leg and then you can see 'em microstutter issues do exist. In fact, we've already fixed it in the next firmware. Then the heretofore previously unappeasable and perpetually unpleasable picky and persnickety video poobahs will all become pleasantly appeased and properly proud of their plucky and persistent pursuit of the profoundly perplexing and perpetually persisting plague of the so- called quote unquote run outside stare at the sun for a minute come back in grab some salt and rub it in your eyes and then squeeze a lemon, an organic lemon, and pour the freshly squeezed lemon juice, organic lemon juice from an organic lemon, in your eyes then squint real hard and stand on one leg and then you can see 'em microstutter. In fact they will be so appeased and happy they will compose a poem about it and it will go like this:

The Microstutter

plainly present but barely perceptible
perhaps undetectable except to the perfectly perceptible
perpetual and persistent
not a tad bit inconsistent
a plaguing presence so utterly contemptible

And the Voom guys are going be all happy and giggling and they are going to say, "Dude can you believe they fell for that?" And another Voom guy, the one that sits in the corner cubicle and is really into Dr. Who, is going to be all, "I know dude, this is so funny. Customers are so lame" And the first Voom guy, he's really into Babylon 5 more than Star Trek but he does like Star Trek the original series and sometimes when he takes care of himself, if you know what I mean, he pictures that he is doing it with that one Star Trek The Original Series alien hottie - the one that looked like an ancient egyptian princess and she had these tears that if you touched you would love her more than anything and kinda become her slave, says, "I know. Customers are lame" And then a third Voom guy walked into the area and he's a new Voom guy who just started at Voom a couple of weeks ago and the others don't know him all that well although he seems cool. One thing they will never know about the third Voom guy despite the fact that they are destined to be lifelong friends is that one day Voom guy number three's father announced that he had been living a lie all his life and that he was really gay and he was going to leave his wife, Voom guy number three's mother, and live with the first person with whom he knew happiness - an Ecuadorean hairdresser named the guy for whom Voom guy number three's father left Voom guy number three's mother for a week before being consumed with guilt and self-loathing and ultimately returning to his family, undergoing family and personal therapy and salvaging some remnants of a normal family life although secretly continuing to frequent seedy adult movie theater establishments to engage in anonymous sexual encounters with other men, who was pursuing a career as a female impersonator. So Voom guy number three walks into the room and goes, "Hey, what's going on?" And the other two go, "Dude you should have seen what we just did. You know that thing they keep talking about all the time?" And the third Voom guys goes, "Who is they?" And the other two Voom guys go, "You know, the lamers" And then Voom guy number three goes, "Oh, The customers. Yeah what is that thing they keep whining about anyway." And then the other two Voom guys go, "Who knows. Something about the picture. They always come up with something to bitch about. Anyway the Man is all bent out of shape because one of the nutjobs got through to him and he had to exchange email with him. You know how he is about having to talk to one of those loons but check this Dude. We fixed it and the Man is coolio." and the third Voom dude is like, "Cool, so what was the deal" And so the first two were like, "There was no deal, it's just lame crap from lamer video engineer wannabes. But this is how we are just so f'ing cool - we told the Man it's already fixed. We put the fix in the firmware months ago" And the third guy is like, "That is so cool" And the first two are like "We know dude. It's not like the Man knows. He hasn't done any video engineering since the dark ages. Like how is he going to tell, he gonna go to the antique store and by an oscilloscope and check out the sine wave?" And all three of them laugh about that for awhile but then the third one says, "So what about the lamers? After the new firmware nothing will be changed?' And the other two say, "yeah, we know but there is no problem..it's just a placebo man. Just tell 'em it's fixed and they will think it's fixed. Those lamers are gonna come up with some new thing anyway." And so then they all three decide to go to lunch pleased with how smart and cool and unlame they are. Oh, and one other thing, when they were talking the first two Voom guys always talked in absolute perfect unision when the were conversing with Voom guy number three which most people found kind of creepy at first but eventually wouldn't even notice. So anyway that is like my new theory about the microstutters. Maybe they don't exist but since we think they exist the Voom guys are going to tell us they exist so they can tell us they fixed them even though they don't and they didn't. Then, when the new firmware comes out, we won't be seeing what never was really there anyway and since we can't see what we couldn't see but we thought we were seeing before we will think everything is great. It's like all Phillip K. Dick man. You know he was like a mystic, man. A visionary that knew it all you know - like Nostradamus or that guy that can talk to the dead people - Jonathan Edwards from that Crossing Over show. Dude, sometimes he is like so..I don't even know what to say except he is so on he is like scary. David Blaine too. Well, the older David Blaine not the sit in a suspended box over London and go nutty lame ass David Blaine but more like the encased in ice in Times Square David Blaine. That was pretty cool. Hey, you know who else is cool. Samuel Jackson. Samuel MFing Jackson. Like in Pulp Fiction - that was way cool. Hey, tell me something - What did you think about Formula 51? I know it's not a great movie but there was some cool stuff in there. I think Samuel was pretty cool in that - "Can't a brother sell some mfing drugs?". That was so cool. I like that English guy in that one too. What's his name? Hamish McBeth or something. That name is kinda lame though, where did he get that? Some play that Hamlet guy wrote I think. Wait Wait I need to get back on topic. Anyway that's why I don't see any microstutter. It doesn't exist. Although the Voom guys are saying it exists, thats not because it really exists thats only because we think it really exists and the Voom guys know they can't fix a problem that doesn't really exist unless they say the problem is real so they can apply their real unreal fix.

That stuff on the microstutters is damn funny. :clap I'm probably the only person who will read it the whole way through, so congrats. But dude, I don't think it's the aderral that created that. I think we're talking dangerously high levels of caffeine or "other" things. If it is the aderral, then lower your dose or don't take it so late. Either way, see a doctor You should crop it to show off the funniest parts. I'm afraid it's so long no one will read far enough into it where it gets absolutely hysterical.

These are just kinda writing exercises for me. The tone and tenor of today's post started with that stupid little Q and A section I put at the end of the Vurbano template post yesterday. That section ended up amusing me so much that I couldn't keep from dabbling with it again today, only I had more time to dedicate to the writing exercise aspect of what I was doing. I'm still kinda amused by it for the time being and I kinda hate "breaking character" with this post because I wouldn't mind pushing it even farther out and finding out just how zany and weird that vibe can be pushed before it breaks (of course that's also assuming it's actually working for anyone other than me) but this isn't the "David's Writing Exercises" forum so....

Anyway thanks for the post of concern and I assure you that I'm not going through any kind of psychosis, drug induced or otherwise. And I also appreciate the very nice feedback. Hope anyone else reading is amused or entertained and not put out with my nonsense and I do, really and sincerly, hope Vurbano isn't offended or feel put out by my first post because it really, really, really was just trying to find a fun way to communicate a difference of opinion.

Dave

as Eschu always tells me "try to stay on topic sparky"

vurbano said:

as Eschu always tells me "try to stay on topic sparky"

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joo got it mang-LOL