A letter to all women from men. (1 Viewer)

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Van

SatelliteGuys Master
Jul 8, 2004
9,316
1
Virginia Beach
Taken from an anonymous poster online.

To all women,
On behalf of all men I would like to clarify a few points:

The floor is considered an acceptable clothing storage location. :up
Never ask me to purchase feminine products. Assume that I will come home with the wrong thing. :(
When watching TV hugging is always fine because I can still see the screen. Kissing should only be done during timeouts and commercials. Questions should also be limited to this period as you stand a much better chance of getting an immediate response. :mad:
When we are watching your show and I change the channels during a commercial do not hassle me that they are over to change the channel back. I always know when the timing is right. Also, when we are channel surfing do not ask me to go back, there was a good reason why I skipped it. ;)
If you need help with the laundry, I am more than willing to carry it from the bedroom to the washer. In my mind this is half the chore and I am now free to return to the couch. :cool:
If I mention that a male friend of mine is allowed to do something it is not necessary for you to call his wife/girlfriend to discuss it. :rolleyes:
If you don't like the way I am driving close your eyes. And I would appreciate it if you would refrain from making that reverse inhaling alarmed noise. I haven't hit anything yet and if I do it will be your fault. :up
I go clothes shopping to buy, never to look.
Just tell me what you want me to wear before I get dressed. And remember that this takes me less than ten minutes no matter what the occasion is. After all I am getting dressed, not getting ready. :tux:
Don't ask me if I prefer one outfit over another or if a certain accessory should be worn or not. I consider this a no win situation and would rather just wait for you to get dressed while watching TV. :confused:
If you want me to put the seat down when I am finished then you should leave the seat up when you are finished. It's only fair. And stop giving me a hard time about missing the bowl. What do you expect from an organ that has a brain of its own. :eek:
I will cook anything as long as it is on the BBQ. :hungry:
Yelling to me across the house sounds exactly like stadium crowd background noise to me. I am not ignoring you.
Thank you for your understanding,:cool:

From all men.
 
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starman345

SatelliteGuys Pro
Nov 25, 2004
3,647
0
New Brunswick, Canada
Thanks for bringing all these important points into a nice brief summary that almost any woman can understand. I"m sure this will be printed out by women all over America and affixed to their refigerators for quick reference.

Red Green would be proud of you:up
 

dishcomm

SatelliteGuys Master
Nov 29, 2005
10,379
543
suburbia
Taken from an anonymous poster online.

To all women,
On behalf of all men I would like to clarify a few points:

The floor is considered an acceptable clothing storage location. :up
Never ask me to purchase feminine products. Assume that I will come home with the wrong thing. :(
When watching TV hugging is always fine because I can still see the screen. Kissing should only be done during timeouts and commercials. Questions should also be limited to this period as you stand a much better chance of getting an immediate response. :mad:
When we are watching your show and I change the channels during a commercial do not hassle me that they are over to change the channel back. I always know when the timing is right. Also, when we are channel surfing do not ask me to go back, there was a good reason why I skipped it. ;)
If you need help with the laundry, I am more than willing to carry it from the bedroom to the washer. In my mind this is half the chore and I am now free to return to the couch. :cool:
If I mention that a male friend of mine is allowed to do something it is not necessary for you to call his wife/girlfriend to discuss it. :rolleyes:
If you don't like the way I am driving close your eyes. And I would appreciate it if you would refrain from making that reverse inhaling alarmed noise. I haven't hit anything yet and if I do it will be your fault. :up
I go clothes shopping to buy, never to look.
Just tell me what you want me to wear before I get dressed. And remember that this takes me less than ten minutes no matter what the occasion is. After all I am getting dressed, not getting ready. :tux:
Don't ask me if I prefer one outfit over another or if a certain accessory should be worn or not. I consider this a no win situation and would rather just wait for you to get dressed while watching TV. :confused:
If you want me to put the seat down when I am finished then you should leave the seat up when you are finished. It's only fair. And stop giving me a hard time about missing the bowl. What do you expect from an organ that has a brain of its own. :eek:
I will cook anything as long as it is on the BBQ. :hungry:
Yelling to me across the house sounds exactly like stadium crowd background noise to me. I am not ignoring you.
Thank you for your understanding,:cool:

From all men.
To these I add.
If we ask you what is wrong and you say "nothing" we will assume you are telling us the truth.
Towels are for drying one's hands/body. We do not possess the ability to take terry cloth and turn it into a decoration.
Do not ask us our opinion of what you are wearing if you are not going to like the answer. If you took the the time to buy it we assume you liked it then so you must like it now.
If a pair of shoes or new outfit cost $200 and you bought it on sale 50% off you did not "save" $200, you"spent" $200.

Do not get upset if we will not argue with you. If it's that important for you to be right, you win.

Do not put things "away". The reason we put something where we did is so we can find it again.


We promise not to straighten out your lingerie drawer if you promise not to straighten out our tool bench. (See above)
 

navychop

Member of the Month - July 2014!
Pub Member / Supporter
Lifetime Supporter
Jul 20, 2005
52,446
17,443
Northern VA
To these I add.
If we ask you what is wrong and you say "nothing" we will assume you are telling us the truth.
Towels are for drying one's hands/body. We do not possess the ability to take terry cloth and turn it into a decoration.
Do not ask us our opinion of what you are wearing if you are not going to like the answer. If you took the the time to buy it we assume you liked it then so you must like it now.
If a pair of shoes or new outfit cost $200 and you bought it on sale 50% off you did not "save" $200, you"spent" $200.

Do not get upset if we will not argue with you. If it's that important for you to be right, you win.

Do not put things "away". The reason we put something where we did is so we can find it again.


We promise not to straighten out your lingerie drawer if you promise not to straighten out our tool bench. (See above)

:up:up :p ;)
 

Sammy033

SatelliteGuys Pro
Dec 27, 2006
1,188
0
Columbus did not need to ask for directions and we don't need to either.

Yea. And he thought he was in India after he sailed the Atlantic.

To men:

I go electronics shopping to buy... not to look.
If I yelled "I am naked" across the house I am sure would hear me just fine and come running.
The floor is not an acceptable place for clothes if you want me to wash them for you.
Dont ask me to watch girl-girl if you wont watch guy-guy
If I allow you to tie me up in bed dont feel it is necessary to discuss it in detail with every male friend you have.
You cant cook a damn thing except on a BBQ and would burn water on a stove.
If you bought an HDTV for $800 and it was %50 off, you did not save $800.
Dont ask me if I think you are going bald if you wont like the answer.
Dont ask me to shave my nether regions if you wont shave yours. :eek:
Dont expect sympathy when you have a hard time putting something together and wont read the directions.
If you dont give any input about what to make for dinner, dont complain if its something you didnt want.
 

starman345

SatelliteGuys Pro
Nov 25, 2004
3,647
0
New Brunswick, Canada
Yea. And he thought he was in India after he sailed the Atlantic.

To men:

I go electronics shopping to buy... not to look.
If I yelled "I am naked" across the house I am sure would hear me just fine and come running.
The floor is not an acceptable place for clothes if you want me to wash them for you.
Dont ask me to watch girl-girl if you wont watch guy-guy
If I allow you to tie me up in bed dont feel it is necessary to discuss it in detail with every male friend you have.
You cant cook a damn thing except on a BBQ and would burn water on a stove.
If you bought an HDTV for $800 and it was %50 off, you did not save $800.
Dont ask me if I think you are going bald if you wont like the answer.
Dont ask me to shave my nether regions if you wont shave yours. :eek:
Dont expect sympathy when you have a hard time putting something together and wont read the directions.
If you dont give any input about what to make for dinner, dont complain if its something you didnt want.


:bouncehehehe, "nether regions", I love it:D:devil:
 

dishcomm

SatelliteGuys Master
Nov 29, 2005
10,379
543
suburbia
Yea. And he thought he was in India after he sailed the Atlantic.

To men:

I go electronics shopping to buy... not to look.
If I yelled "I am naked" across the house I am sure would hear me just fine and come running.
The floor is not an acceptable place for clothes if you want me to wash them for you.
Dont ask me to watch girl-girl if you wont watch guy-guy
If I allow you to tie me up in bed dont feel it is necessary to discuss it in detail with every male friend you have.
You cant cook a damn thing except on a BBQ and would burn water on a stove.
If you bought an HDTV for $800 and it was %50 off, you did not save $800.
Dont ask me if I think you are going bald if you wont like the answer.
Dont ask me to shave my nether regions if you wont shave yours. :eek:
Dont expect sympathy when you have a hard time putting something together and wont read the directions.
If you dont give any input about what to make for dinner, dont complain if its something you didnt want.
Ahh. Nice try. But see the thing is men's brains do not work this way.

Most women I know/knew would be appalled at homo porn.
The shaving issue. Most women appreicate the attention. When men stop paying attention is what women fear the most.
We don't give input on meal prep. It's your domain. Handle it as you see fit.
The HDTV thing was already covered. Large purchases are discussed before the go code is given.
Oh yeah the yelling thing? If you did that we'd be interested the first time. The next time worried. The third time, we'd have you examioned by a shrink. Normal people do not behave this way.
 
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navychop

Member of the Month - July 2014!
Pub Member / Supporter
Lifetime Supporter
Jul 20, 2005
52,446
17,443
Northern VA
Yea. And he thought he was in India after he sailed the Atlantic.

To men:

I go electronics shopping to buy... not to look.
If I yelled "I am naked" across the house I am sure would hear me just fine and come running.
The floor is not an acceptable place for clothes if you want me to wash them for you.
Don't ask me to watch girl-girl if you wont watch guy-guy
If I allow you to tie me up in bed dont feel it is necessary to discuss it in detail with every male friend you have.
You cant cook a damn thing except on a BBQ and would burn water on a stove.
If you bought an HDTV for $800 and it was %50 off, you did not save $800.
Don't ask me if I think you are going bald if you wont like the answer.
Don't ask me to shave my nether regions if you wont shave yours. :eek:
Don't expect sympathy when you have a hard time putting something together and wont read the directions.
If you don't give any input about what to make for dinner, dont complain if its something you didn't want.

:up:up

GOOD response! :D
 

Sammy033

SatelliteGuys Pro
Dec 27, 2006
1,188
0
Ahh. Nice try. But see the thing is men's brains do not work this way.

No mention was made of a woman actually watching gay porn for any possible reason. But it does mean that a man should be prepared to go off somewhere when told to watch it if he also plans to ask about girl-girl.

It's all tongue in cheek. :D

Oh and as for HDTV and the go code, the husband of my aunt took her pristine VW Beetle and traded it in for a Honda hatchback... without her knowledge. It was supposed to be a surprise and he thought he was doing a good thing. Of course she thought otherwise.
 

AllieVi

SatelliteGuys Pro
Sep 11, 2003
943
0
Temecula, CA (area)
I made an agreement with my wife when we got married. I’d take care of everything “A”, “B” and “D” through “Z.” She’d get just that one remaining letter, “C”.

Cooking
Cleaning
Child Rearing
Carpet Sweeping
Canine Maintenance
Cat Maintenance
Car Care
Car Refueling
Car Insurance
Car Purchasing
Care of Me
(the list goes on…)
 
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