Golf And What It All Means (1 Viewer)

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Kevinw

Just a regular guy
Pub Member / Supporter
Dec 2, 2003
2,992
13
Jacksonville, FL
GOLF AND WHAT IT ALL MEANS



Golf can best be defined as an endless series of
tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle,
followed by a good bottle of beer.

Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing
left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins.
And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks

Golf is harder than baseball. In golf, you have to
play your foul balls.

If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain,
the snow, even during a hurricane, here's a valuable
tip: your life is in trouble.

Golfers who try to make everything perfect before
taking the shot rarely make a perfect shot.

The term "mulligan" is really a contraction of the
phrase "maul it again."

A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement
between two golfers ...neither of whom can putt
very well.

An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how
badly you play; it is always possible to get worse.

Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out
and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss
every green. The next day you go out and for no
reason at all you really stink.

If your best shots are the practice swing and the
"gimme putt", you might wish to reconsider this game.

Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent
is you.

Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too
seriously it won't work, and both are expensive.

The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.




David Letterman's Top Ten Reasons
Why Golf Is Better Than Sex.....

#10... A below par performance is considered damn good.
#9... You can stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and a couple of beers.
#8... It's much easier to find the sweet spot.
#7... Foursomes are encouraged.
#6... You can still make money doing it as a senior.
#5... Three times a day is possible.
#4... Your partner doesn't hire a lawyer if you play with someone else.
#3... If you live in Florida , you can do it almost every day.
#2... You don't have to cuddle with your partner when you're finished.

And the NUMBER ONE reason
why golf is better than sex.....
#1... When your equipment gets old you can replace it!
 
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Fitzie

SatelliteGuys Pro
Jul 30, 2007
709
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Central KY
The Golf Channel has the European PGA Tour Championship on in the mornings this week and the AT&T open in HD in the afternoons. Golf fans with leisure can watch a while, grab a beer, practice putting, then watch more, then hit the bathroom, grab another beer, practice putting, etc. for 4 days in a row. Plus take time out for a hot dog and potato chips to go with the beer when the kids come over for the 4th. America the Beautiful!

Fitzie
 

Ramy

The Star Wars Collector Podcast
Supporting Founder
Jan 27, 2004
30,897
512
Here
So what are you saying about my golf game? :D
 

voomvoom

SatelliteGuys Master
Lifetime Supporter
May 18, 2004
6,660
29
Lizella, Georgia Republic
And here I was thinking (or at least I was once told, originally) it meant:

Game Off Limits to Females






of course things have changed, since then.......?
 

Kevinw

Just a regular guy
Pub Member / Supporter
Dec 2, 2003
2,992
13
Jacksonville, FL
And here I was thinking (or at least I was once told, originally) it meant:

Game Off Limits to Females

of course things have changed, since then.......?

As I get older, my eyesight is not as good as it used to be. Is that a titanium shaft?
 

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HD MM

SatelliteGuys Master
Nov 2, 2006
15,837
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Believeland, Ohio
For anybody that may care, my index # (Handicap) is a 15. What about the rest of you boys and girls?

Showoff. ;)

My best round ever was an 84. For whatever reason, I was in the zone that day. I've never came close to that score since. Typically, I'm at least a 20 handicap.
 

Paul Wozniak

SatelliteGuys Master
Oct 26, 2005
13,193
5
Hamtramck,MI
Ramy and HD, the only difference between your games and mine is about 5 better shots, per round. Think about it, 1 more good shot about every 4 holes. That was the mindset that got me to the mid 80's.

"I like shooting in the 80's, any hotter than that, and I stay home." Some famous golf philosopher.
 

Ramy

The Star Wars Collector Podcast
Supporting Founder
Jan 27, 2004
30,897
512
Here
If I could play on a regular basis, then I could be back in the 80's myself.
 

HD MM

SatelliteGuys Master
Nov 2, 2006
15,837
0
Believeland, Ohio
Ramy and HD, the only difference between your games and mine is about 5 better shots, per round. Think about it, 1 more good shot about every 4 holes. That was the mindset that got me to the mid 80's.

"I like shooting in the 80's, any hotter than that, and I stay home." Some famous golf philosopher.

If I could manage to improve my putting game, my overall score and game would be much better. I'm usually on the green with a chance for a long par putt, but I typically take 2-3 putts to get it in from there.
 

CopyChief

SatelliteGuys Guru
Feb 21, 2005
145
2
Golf is, at its core, a game of lies. With each shot, you strive for the perfect lie. And if you don't get it, you lie.
 
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