The Lighter Side Of Sports

Paul Wozniak

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Oct 26, 2005
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My goal here is just to post some of the more humorous quotes that I find from time to time.

Minnesota Timberwolves coach Randy Wittman, asked by the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel if players back in the day hired personal chefs like rookie Kevin Love:
"No. We got married"

This one is really strange -

Officer Tang Jun, quoted in the Shanghai Daily on police smashing a major cricket-fighting ring and netting a big-time trainer:
"Lin was famous among cricket fanciers. If Lin teased a cricket he could make it angry enough to beat even a stronger opponent. Lin was Shanghai's No.1 cricket teaser."

You can't make this kind of stuff up!
 
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Paul Wozniak

SatelliteGuys Master
Oct 26, 2005
13,193
5
Hamtramck,MI
A fan to a man selling Obama shirts outside Ford Field (home of the Detroit Lions) after the game: "He said there was going to be change....He lied."
 

BillD1984

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"That's what you get for building a ballpark near the ocean"


Red Sox pitcher, Dennis "Oil Can" Boyd said this gem after a 1986 Red Sox-Indians game was called after five innings, because heavy fog rolled in off the banks of Lake Erie. :D
 

HD MM

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"There’s a lot of season left, and the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train of tough opponents. These are the times that try a coach’s soul."

-Romeo A Crennel
 

BillD1984

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"If a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his booty"



- Jimy Williams during the press conference to announce him new manager of the Red Sox in the fall of 1996.

Needless to say the cruel Boston media gave that quote a LOT of mileage. :D
 

HD MM

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[FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva]"The only thing that keeps this organization from being recognized as one of the finest in baseball is wins and losses at the major league level."

-- Devil Rays GM Chuck Lamar on his team in 2005
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[FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva]"It's a humbling thing being humble."

-- Former Ohio State running back Maurice Clarett on seeing his stock drop as the 2005 NFL draft was approaching. The Broncos selected Clarett in the third round but eventually released him
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[FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva]"Therapy can be a good thing; it can be therapeutic."

-- Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez on the benefits of seeing a, well, therapist
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[FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva]"My wiener has never been so exhausted."

-- NASCAR's Kurt Busch after outlasting three other drivers to win the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile race at Lowe's Motor Speedway
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[FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva]"I'm rich. What am I supposed to do, hide it?"

-Detroit Tiger Lou Whitaker, arriving in a stretch limo for a players' union meeting during the 1994 baseball strike.
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[FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva]"I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf."

-Tug McGraw, asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf
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[FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva]"I'm not an athlete. I'm a professional baseball player."

-John Kruk
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The great Yogi Berra had a lot of great ones.......

"Do you mean now?"
- when asked for the time.

"If you come to a fork in the road, take it."

"I made a wrong mistake."

"Surprise me."
- on where his wife should have him buried.

"You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."

"If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else."

"If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."

"You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six."

"Baseball is 90% mental -- the other half is physical."
 

SabresRule

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Herman Edwards:

"This is what's great about sports. This is what the greatest thing about sports is. You play to win the game. Hello? YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME!"
 

HD MM

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Funny Quotes on Football

[FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva]"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
-Football commentator and former player Joe Theisman.

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[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva]"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
-New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers
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[FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva]
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[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva]"I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid."
-Former football player/announcer Terry Bradshaw

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[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva]"I don't think there's anybody in this organization not focused on the 49ers... I mean Chargers."
-Bill Belichick
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[FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva]"Hawaii doesn't win many games in the United States."
-Football analyst Lee Corso

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[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva][FONT=Arial, Geneva]"The shoulder surgery was a success. The lobotomy failed."
-Mike Ditka on quarterback Jim McMahon's surgery.


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