You will love this jokes!!!

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Pairona

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Missing Wife
The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"

"Why?"

"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."

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God And Professor
A college student was in a philosophy class which had a discussion about God's existence. The professor presented the following logic:

"Has anyone in this class heard God?" Nobody spoke.

"Has anyone in this class touched God?" Again, nobody spoke.

"Has anyone in this class seen God?" When nobody spoke for the third time, he simply stated,

"Then there is no God."

One student thought for a second, and then asked for permission to reply.

Curious to hear this bold student's response, the professor granted it. The student stood up and asked the following questions to his classmates:

"Has anyone in this class heard our professor's brain?" Silence.

"Has anyone in this class touched our professor's brain?" Absolute silence.

"Has anyone in this class seen our professor's brain?" When nobody in the class dared to speak, the student concluded,

"Then, according to our professor's logic, it must be true that our professor has no brain!"

-------------

Mental Hospital
Santa and Banta Singh were both in a mental hospital. Once they were walking past a swimming pool, Santa suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sunk to the bottom and stayed there.

Banta promptly jumped in to save him. He swam to the bottom and pulled Santa out. When the medical director became aware of Banta's heroic act, he immediately ordered him to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered him to be mentally stable.

When he went to tell Banta the news, he said,' Banta, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is Santa, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

Banta replied, 'He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry.'


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What do you call a sardar who has only one drink? Just-one Singh.

What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer? Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).


How did the Sardar try to kill the bird? He threw it off a cliff.


Why can't Sardars make ice cubes? They always forget the recipe.


Why do Sardars work seven days a week? So you don't have to re-train them on Monday
 
Rey

Rey

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Feb 8, 2008
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welcome! and thanks for sharing. pretty funny stuff :D
 
Ramy

Ramy

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What is a Sardar?
 
jwgreen68

jwgreen68

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May 19, 2008
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The definition of kinky is "tickling your girlfriends ass with a feather". "Perverted" is using the whole bird!
 
jwgreen68

jwgreen68

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Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the best
patients to operate on.

The first surgeon, from
New York , says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table. Because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second, from
Chicago , responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon, from
Dallas , says, "No, I really think librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon, from
Los Angeles chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers..... those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over."


But the fifth surgeon, from Toronto, Canada shut them all up when he observed:
"You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no testes, no brains and no spine. And the head and the ass are interchangeable."
 
jwgreen68

jwgreen68

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May 19, 2008
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WALK NAKED IN AMERICA DAY

Don't forget to mark your calendars. As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked. He must commit suicide if he does. So next Saturday at 4 PM Eastern Time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort. All patriotic gentile men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Muslims and to demonstrate they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all American women. Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Muslim sentiment.

The American government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.

It is your patriotic duty to pass this on. If you don't send this to at least 5 people, you're a terrorist-sympathizing, lily-livered coward and are in the position of posing as a national threat.
 
jwgreen68

jwgreen68

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May 19, 2008
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Hiding in your attic
show details 4:37 PM (3 hours ago)

A guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini." The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "168". The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.

The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini". Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to the man and says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "100." The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.

The guy leaves, but finds this very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini", and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "Uh, about 50."

The robot leans in real close and says, "So, you people still happy you voted for Obama?"
 
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