Now that the drama is over, I can bust this one out...
One early autumn day, a Midwestern farmer dies. When he shows up at the Pearly Gates, St. Peter looks in the book and says, "Sorry. Your name is not in here. You've got to go." Poof, the farmer disappears.
When he comes to, he finds himself chained to a wall in a cell in Hell.
A few minutes later, the Devil looks in on the farmer and sees that the farmer has a smile on his face. So the Devil opens the cell door and says to the farmer, "You must not get it. This is Hell." The farmer says "Yeah, I know, but this is really good weather for growing crops."
The Devil shakes his head as he walks out the door. He thinks to himself, "I know what'll get him. So the Devil goes over to the thermostat and turns the temperature up.
A little while later, he then goes back to the farmer's cell and looks in on him again. To the Devil's surprise, the farmer is sweating up a storm, but he has this big grin on his face. The Devil yells, "What now?!?!" and the farmer says "This is great weather for crops." The Devil shakes his head and backs out of the cell. He thinks for a minutes and then runs over to the thermostat and turns it all the way up.
Half an hour later, he goes back to the farmer's cell. The farmer is drenched in sweat, but has the biggest, dumbest grin the Devil has ever seen. He rips open the door and screams "WHAT IS IT WITH YOU?!??!"
The farmer just looks at him and says "This is absolutely the best weather for growing crops."
The Devil sighs and lets the door slam behind him. He gazes off into the distance when suddenly an evil grin slowly inches across his face until he bursts into maniacal laughter. He strides over to the thermostat and cranks it all the way down.
Later, the Devil looks into the farmer's cell and there is snow flying around and ice covering the floor of the cell. Somehow, the farmer has managed to struggle to his feet and is whooping and hollering like mad. The Devil rushes into the cell and yells "WHAT NOW? AND DON'T GIVE ME ANY CRAP ABOUT THIS BEING GREAT WEATHER FOR CROPS!!!"
The farmer says "Nah, this weather sucks for crops, but it's October and Hell is freezing over! THE CUBS ARE WINNING THE WORLD SERIES!!!"
