Just got this e-mail:
Dear Customer,
Thank you for your recent e-mail. We apologize for whatever you are complaining about this time. However, we wouldn't be doing anything about it. In the meanwhile, please send us more money. Why? Because we want more money, and you are too stupid, or afraid, to refuse.
Do you for a moment think we care a rat's ass about you? You are just a sap playing our shell game. You think you know where the pea is, but you have no clue. All you care about is your televsion picture quality while there are children who are starving in third-world countries, who have no HDTV, or worse yet, no broadcast HD locals or RSNs. (Please note we are working with their corrupt officials to bring them service in the near future)
How do you think we became multi-millionaires and billionaires? We just followed the advice of long departed P.T. Barnum and applied it to our company. After all, it's all about money, no more or no less. I guess you haven't read the famous quote of a former GM president about his business was about making money and not cars, and if making cars was not profitable his company would make something else that made money.
Oh, by the way, if you are thinking about going to that other company for your service--go right ahead. In a few years there is only going to be one company and you will be paying twice as much and thanking us for it.
Have a nice day, and don't forget to send us that extra money.
Sincerely,
Ubeen Screwedski