ENTER HERE: Win a C Band Dish & LNB from SatelliteAV!(Contest Over)
- Thread starter Scott Greczkowski
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Can I please have a big dish. The reason you should let me have one is remember the kitchen renovation you want.????????
Dear,
You know that pervert neighbor who keeps trying to get a peek of you with his binoculars? I just figured out that the perfect place in our yard to mount a 8' satellite dish would also block his view of the hot tub completely.
Whatdaya say?
You know that pervert neighbor who keeps trying to get a peek of you with his binoculars? I just figured out that the perfect place in our yard to mount a 8' satellite dish would also block his view of the hot tub completely.
Whatdaya say?
i am getting ready to move into a new house and would love something to piss off the homeowners association.
Honey...you know the dish farm outisde? The one where I went from 7 dishes to 3 to make you happy? Well, I got an idea. No its not add more dishes back up for hockey season (although you know I'll be mad if I can't need one more dish up for a game and can't) but I got an idea. That 6 foot monster that the HOA doesn't like but can't do much since I'm on the board now? Wouldn't it be great if I upgraded to a 8 footer?
Think about it. We can use the 8 footer here and take the 6 footer to the lake. You know when we go up to the lake and we don't have anything but once in a while we get 2 fuzzy stations? Wouldn't you like to watch your programs at the lake in clear reception? If we win the 8 foot dish I can bring this one to the lake and get that set up for the TV up there. Sure we can't see the local news, but right now we aren't either.
And the best part? Its FREEEEE... Yep, free dish, free shipping free everything. No I'm not going to steal the one from the Pullman (bar) downtown (plus that dish is all broken). This one is free. You know you like free honey. Especially when you go to garage sales you like the free stuff.
Now all I have to do is post it at my favorite website and hope they pick me
Think about it. We can use the 8 footer here and take the 6 footer to the lake. You know when we go up to the lake and we don't have anything but once in a while we get 2 fuzzy stations? Wouldn't you like to watch your programs at the lake in clear reception? If we win the 8 foot dish I can bring this one to the lake and get that set up for the TV up there. Sure we can't see the local news, but right now we aren't either.
And the best part? Its FREEEEE... Yep, free dish, free shipping free everything. No I'm not going to steal the one from the Pullman (bar) downtown (plus that dish is all broken). This one is free. You know you like free honey. Especially when you go to garage sales you like the free stuff.
Now all I have to do is post it at my favorite website and hope they pick me
Tom: Michelle, can I ask you something?
Michelle: yes?
Tom: Rememeber how I keep saying how nice it would be to have another c band dish hooked up?
Michelle: (suspiciously) and?
Tom: Well that that forum I hang out on all the time is giving away a full c band dish setup with polar mount..............
Michelle: (breaks out laughing) You have to be kidding me! Isnt it bad enough our friends already call this place SETI North? And now you want another big dish?!
Tom: But honey, I already have everything here to set up another c band dish, It wont cost a penny, they are even paying the shipping. And just think how nice it would be when you want to watch law and order on tnt in the front room and I want to go searching for stuff on c band FTA. No longer would i sit there sulking on the couch until your programs are all done
Michelle: (still laughing) Ok but remember all that when you complain about having to mow around stuff, like my lilac bushes, plantings, flower beds, bird bath....
Tom: (to himself, not hearing Michelle anymore) YES I did it
Tom: ( to Michelle) Thank you honey OOXX
Michelle: yes?
Tom: Rememeber how I keep saying how nice it would be to have another c band dish hooked up?
Michelle: (suspiciously) and?
Tom: Well that that forum I hang out on all the time is giving away a full c band dish setup with polar mount..............
Michelle: (breaks out laughing) You have to be kidding me! Isnt it bad enough our friends already call this place SETI North? And now you want another big dish?!
Tom: But honey, I already have everything here to set up another c band dish, It wont cost a penny, they are even paying the shipping. And just think how nice it would be when you want to watch law and order on tnt in the front room and I want to go searching for stuff on c band FTA. No longer would i sit there sulking on the couch until your programs are all done
Michelle: (still laughing) Ok but remember all that when you complain about having to mow around stuff, like my lilac bushes, plantings, flower beds, bird bath....
Tom: (to himself, not hearing Michelle anymore) YES I did it
Tom: ( to Michelle) Thank you honey OOXX
Dear,
It is time for us to have a serious talk about your hidden obsession with television. You know I have worked tirelessly to hide this from our neighbors. I managed to hide the 5 satellite dishes on the roof from prying eyes. I have run hundreds of feed of RG6 quad shielded cable through the attic, basement, up and down the walls, all in an effort to please you with endless channels from Dish network.
You have kept your endless channel surfing hidden from all your friends. How many times have I hidden all the televisions down in the basement for your parties? How many times have I had to go out on the town with my buddies so you could stay home and watch Grey's Anatomy uninterrupted? I know to work extra late on Friday nights so you can watch Monk without having to worry about me bothering you with stupid questions trying to understand the latest phobias, only to have to watch it the next day in secret.
I think it is time for you to come out of the closet and admit to the world you like to watch television. I think the only answer is to get a giant C band dish and proudly plant it in the front lawn. We can run gleaming pipes with only the best RG11 cables in them strait to your giant HDTV, to preserve the pristine picture. The neighbors can ooh and aah as they see the dish slowly scan the heavens searching for the latest wild feed. Think of all the shows you could see up linked early!
Your friends would know better than to disturb you for something silly like a cup of sugar when the dish is pointed at 131 (AMC-11) you must be watching an important Lifetime movie! I would know to keep circling the block if it is pointed at 135, since you must be watching HGTV in HD! I will be sure to wait until the hour is up before coming in lest to disturb you and possibly prevent you from see the after presention.
Think of it as a giant Do Not Disturb sign in the front yard! If you would like I could tie the phone system into it too so the phone would not ring when the receiver is on.
It is time for us to have a serious talk about your hidden obsession with television. You know I have worked tirelessly to hide this from our neighbors. I managed to hide the 5 satellite dishes on the roof from prying eyes. I have run hundreds of feed of RG6 quad shielded cable through the attic, basement, up and down the walls, all in an effort to please you with endless channels from Dish network.
You have kept your endless channel surfing hidden from all your friends. How many times have I hidden all the televisions down in the basement for your parties? How many times have I had to go out on the town with my buddies so you could stay home and watch Grey's Anatomy uninterrupted? I know to work extra late on Friday nights so you can watch Monk without having to worry about me bothering you with stupid questions trying to understand the latest phobias, only to have to watch it the next day in secret.
I think it is time for you to come out of the closet and admit to the world you like to watch television. I think the only answer is to get a giant C band dish and proudly plant it in the front lawn. We can run gleaming pipes with only the best RG11 cables in them strait to your giant HDTV, to preserve the pristine picture. The neighbors can ooh and aah as they see the dish slowly scan the heavens searching for the latest wild feed. Think of all the shows you could see up linked early!
Your friends would know better than to disturb you for something silly like a cup of sugar when the dish is pointed at 131 (AMC-11) you must be watching an important Lifetime movie! I would know to keep circling the block if it is pointed at 135, since you must be watching HGTV in HD! I will be sure to wait until the hour is up before coming in lest to disturb you and possibly prevent you from see the after presention.
Think of it as a giant Do Not Disturb sign in the front yard! If you would like I could tie the phone system into it too so the phone would not ring when the receiver is on.
MY BIG FAT Satellite dish - I don't want a satellite dish that gets every station. I only want one that gets Guy stations. That means no Home Shopping Network, no E! Entertainment Television, and certainly no Lifetime Network ("the network for women who hate men"). This satellite dish would only get woodworking shows, home improvement shows, and football. And if football wasn't on, there would be DVDs of every pro and college game. I would also allow basketball, unless NFL Europe was on.
A "No Children Allowed" sign - Don't get me wrong, I love my children. Other men love their children too. But if our kids come, then we have to actually watch them and make sure they don't break anything. This could cause us to miss the biggest play of the game. Or spill our beer. So instead, they would have their own creche, much like this one, but without the beer.
Food - This should probably be at the top of the list, but beer and TV are a little more important. Man does not live by bread alone, which is why God created TV and beer, which is like bread, but only runnier. But instead of plain bread, we would also have pizzas, sandwiches, and steaks. We would also have a nearly-empty platter of vegetables, so if our wives came in, they'll think we've been eating healthy.
HONEY you wouldn't believe the dream i had last night.
I dreamed that we had A BIG FAT DISH and i was home every night,didn't want to go to hooters to watch the games anymore,actually i said with the money we will be saving if i had a beer or two at home instead of going out, you would have more money for shopping and you and your girlfriends got together to watch desperate housewives,dancing with the stars and lifetime network.
What a weird dream! i said.
It's not really weird ,she said actually i like all that,if you really want to do it
REALLY I SAID
A "No Children Allowed" sign - Don't get me wrong, I love my children. Other men love their children too. But if our kids come, then we have to actually watch them and make sure they don't break anything. This could cause us to miss the biggest play of the game. Or spill our beer. So instead, they would have their own creche, much like this one, but without the beer.
Food - This should probably be at the top of the list, but beer and TV are a little more important. Man does not live by bread alone, which is why God created TV and beer, which is like bread, but only runnier. But instead of plain bread, we would also have pizzas, sandwiches, and steaks. We would also have a nearly-empty platter of vegetables, so if our wives came in, they'll think we've been eating healthy.
HONEY you wouldn't believe the dream i had last night.
I dreamed that we had A BIG FAT DISH and i was home every night,didn't want to go to hooters to watch the games anymore,actually i said with the money we will be saving if i had a beer or two at home instead of going out, you would have more money for shopping and you and your girlfriends got together to watch desperate housewives,dancing with the stars and lifetime network.
What a weird dream! i said.
It's not really weird ,she said actually i like all that,if you really want to do it
REALLY I SAID
Hi Honey, You know, I was thinking that we should get an 8 foot C Band dish. I don't really want it, but I think we should do it for "you". Because, if we get the 8 Foot C Band dish, we can forget about paying monthly fees for Dish or D-TV because we'll get networks from C-Band along with other great programming. With all of the saved money, you can go shopping for some of the designer clothes that I love to see you in; or maybe some new perfumes whose scents you know I love on you. So ... to make you happy, and to allow me to see my beautiful wife in some beautiful new clothes and wearing a wonderful new French perfume, I'm willing to go the extra mile and get the 8 foot C Band dish. Please, don't try to talk me out of it ... I want to do it .... for "you"
Sweetheart,
You are the sun that lights up my life.
You are the beauty that causes all other beauties to pale in comparison.
You are my supreme treasure.
What's that? What do you mean, "What do I want?"
I have you! There's NOTHING MORE I could possibly need...all other possible desires fade into infinite insignificance next to you!
(Smooch...hug...smooch...smooch...smooooooooooooooch!)
Oh, by the way, don't you think an 8' satellite dish would do wonders for receiving your favorite soap operas?
You are the sun that lights up my life.
You are the beauty that causes all other beauties to pale in comparison.
You are my supreme treasure.
What's that? What do you mean, "What do I want?"
I have you! There's NOTHING MORE I could possibly need...all other possible desires fade into infinite insignificance next to you!
(Smooch...hug...smooch...smooch...smooooooooooooooch!)
Oh, by the way, don't you think an 8' satellite dish would do wonders for receiving your favorite soap operas?
Honey, remember when you said I should invest that couple grand I made selling my part of the hunting cabin? Well I found something today that's bound to make us Lot's of money. Well I met this guy that's got this old satellite system, no I mean really old, back from the early "70's the Guy said that it probably cost a $100,000. when it was new and its in Mint shape and we can use it while we look for some one to buy it, The Guy said that it gets at least 10 or 12 channels and it probably will only take me a week or so to get it going,Big? Well yes its kinda big, you remember those dishes we saw up in Maine that summer? they were not 24' wide this one is only 18' Yes our back yard is to big enough, the guy up the street fly's one of those big helicopter cranes and he said that it would be no problem for him to drop it right in there. What do you mean "I just want more TV channels, Yes I admit that I'm one of the worlds first generation of TV junkies. You won what ? an 8' C Band dish, LNB,and everything, free shipping too from" A/V satellite sales" on that Great website "Satellite Guy's". Iremember that's the place that made me decide to get a dish. Well maybe we should Invest in that top of the line Dishwasher I know you've had your eye on. OH YES, I LOVE YOU TOO.
Honey iam the boss here and i say a 8 foot dish would save us big time money over our Dish network setup. so can we please get one pretty please..
Me: "I'm going to try to get us an 8 foot dish so that we can finally see the stuff on C-band."
Her: "Don't you have enough stuff around the house already?! It looks like Radio Shack x 10 in here! What will this new dish do for us?"
Me: "We'll be able to get C-band! That's where all the good stuff is!"
Her: "If I catch you watching porn..."
Me: "NO!!! It's nothing like that. I promise you'll NEVER catch me watching porn..."
Her: "Then what can you see with it that you can't with the THREE dishes already out on the shed?"
Me: "We'll get all the networks from other cities!"
Her: "Great. More football. We might as well open up a sports bar!"
Me: "There's more than football! There's news, prime time shows at different times, heck, there's even Martha."
Her: "Okay, dear, go ahead and try for it. But if I'm watching Martha and you start tinkering with it and lose the signal, you get to sleep out there until you can finally get me those signals from Hotbird that you promised me! And I don't want to hear any lame excuses like 'It's over Europe'!
Her: "Don't you have enough stuff around the house already?! It looks like Radio Shack x 10 in here! What will this new dish do for us?"
Me: "We'll be able to get C-band! That's where all the good stuff is!"
Her: "If I catch you watching porn..."
Me: "NO!!! It's nothing like that. I promise you'll NEVER catch me watching porn..."
Her: "Then what can you see with it that you can't with the THREE dishes already out on the shed?"
Me: "We'll get all the networks from other cities!"
Her: "Great. More football. We might as well open up a sports bar!"
Me: "There's more than football! There's news, prime time shows at different times, heck, there's even Martha."
Her: "Okay, dear, go ahead and try for it. But if I'm watching Martha and you start tinkering with it and lose the signal, you get to sleep out there until you can finally get me those signals from Hotbird that you promised me! And I don't want to hear any lame excuses like 'It's over Europe'!
My wife is a huge tech geek and software engineer by trade. Here's how the conversation would go:
Me:
Hey sweet pea, I gotta chance to win an eight-foot diameter c-band sat dish.
Wife:
Sweeeeeet! Let's put it out back next to the chlothesline.
Me:
Perfect, but we have to win the thing first.
Wife:
Oh. Well get on it!
Me:
I love you *smooootch*
Not really that funny, but true. For that dish there's not much more I can do. But relay to you (and you, and you), that my home life is awesome, and that dish would be too!~
Me:
Hey sweet pea, I gotta chance to win an eight-foot diameter c-band sat dish.
Wife:
Sweeeeeet! Let's put it out back next to the chlothesline.
Me:
Perfect, but we have to win the thing first.
Wife:
Oh. Well get on it!
Me:
I love you *smooootch*
Not really that funny, but true. For that dish there's not much more I can do. But relay to you (and you, and you), that my home life is awesome, and that dish would be too!~
Her: Did you order something?
Me: Did something arrive?
Her: A very big box came for you.
Me: What's in it?
Her: I don't know, what did you order.
Me: Well open it up and see what it is?
Her: You ordered something for the sattelite didn't you.
Me: I don't know whats in the box.
Her: The box is too big, you'll have to open it when you get home, but if its something for the satellite you can't work on it this weekend.
Me: Did something arrive?
Her: A very big box came for you.
Me: What's in it?
Her: I don't know, what did you order.
Me: Well open it up and see what it is?
Her: You ordered something for the sattelite didn't you.
Me: I don't know whats in the box.
Her: The box is too big, you'll have to open it when you get home, but if its something for the satellite you can't work on it this weekend.
Wife ? Is that women who is a mother of my kid and have much more pleasure to work from 8am to 10pm each day ? And shoping all Sat-Sun ?
She is living in other dimension.
The 8' will be perfect replacement of old damaged mesh 10 footer .
She is living in other dimension.
The 8' will be perfect replacement of old damaged mesh 10 footer .
Dearest honey,
Hi baby, sweetheart, love of my love(in low voice, except for my big screen), what if I moved your flower bed closer to the alley so I can put up an 8 ft. dish that I won. Thats right honey, I didnt spend any money, I won it. What do you think? Getting yelled at and almost beat up by a 5ft tall woman, for wanting to move her flower bed, PRICELESS...for everything else there is flowers.
Honey did you loose weight?
Hi baby, sweetheart, love of my love(in low voice, except for my big screen), what if I moved your flower bed closer to the alley so I can put up an 8 ft. dish that I won. Thats right honey, I didnt spend any money, I won it. What do you think? Getting yelled at and almost beat up by a 5ft tall woman, for wanting to move her flower bed, PRICELESS...for everything else there is flowers.
Honey did you loose weight?
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