Hospital preventing parents from visiting son?

[navychop]

Can a hospital LEGALLY prevent parents from seeing their son outside visiting hours?

Went to see stepson when they were about to start a chemo session - just after visiting hours ended. We got there about 5 mins before visiting hours ended. His mother & I wanted to be with him for this, as we had for earlier sessions. Never a problem before. This time had small run in with huffy security guard. Still saw son after a call to ward.

Question is, hasn't it been established that hospitals cannot prevent parents from seeing their children at any time? Son is 24, starting rounds of chemo.

 

[jayn_j]

You put that word LEGALLY in there. I have no idea on VA law, but in Colorado and Illinois both, they had a legal right to restrict visitors at any time for any reason.

You were also talking about outpatient Oncology which is different still.

That said, I found that the oncology wards bent over backwards to accommodate family. They went so far as to give me the after hour pass code to get into the facility. The hospital in Colorado even had sleeping accommodations for family built into the room.

The fact that they let you in once you called the floor says that you just ran into someone who didn't know the secret rules yet.

 

[navychop]

Yep. I think guard was impressed with himself. Son is inpatient, comes home TU or TH.

 

[jayn_j]

Yep. I think guard was impressed with himself. Son is inpatient, comes home TU or TH.

I wish you a good outcome and will add a prayer for your son.

No matter how good the outcome, there will be bad days ahead. Patience and understanding is the key. You will never stop worrying if it is really all gone, but 5 years is a pretty safe bet.

 

[Mike0616]

Can a hospital LEGALLY prevent parents from seeing their son outside visiting hours?

Went to see stepson when they were about to start a chemo session - just after visiting hours ended. We got there about 5 mins before visiting hours ended. His mother & I wanted to be with him for this, as we had for earlier sessions. Never a problem before. This time had small run in with huffy security guard. Still saw son after a call to ward.

Question is, hasn't it been established that hospitals cannot prevent parents from seeing their children at any time? Son is 24, starting rounds of chemo.

Its private property, so LEGALLY they could bar you, however, as a practical matter, that would be the 1st place I have ever heard of that has done so.

My wife is a RN and has worked on nursing floors most of her life and she has never heard of any place that barred anyone from any unit other than psychiatric or chemical dependency units and those are not "closed", per se, just that they do within their limits (which are more flexible than one would think.) The criminal units (as far as she is aware of) allow legal counsel but may or may not allow family, depending on what the police and attending medical staff decide.

What I would suggest to preclude you from having this problem again is to call the hospital, ask to speak to the Administrator (what the CEO of a hospital is called) and inform them of the incident. In most cases, security is a contracted function of a hospital and the people they hire are not officers of the law, much less know what is legal and what is not. By informing the hospital, they can contact the security firm and let them know that they should clean up their act. They cannot fix what they do not know about, right?

 

[navychop]

Brain burped. It's TU or WED. Not likely anybody is going to be processed out on Turkey Day.

He seems weak, but cheerful and is eating. His doc asked him how the pain meds were doing. He said he wasn't taking any, he wasn't in pain, just slight nausea after eating. Eats several small meals. Doc seemed surprised at no pain, not sure he was happy about that.

It's testicular cancer. Already had one surgery. It's spread to several other locations, large, rapidly growing tumors. But the fast growing ones they say die off faster, too. Chemo is to reduce them in size to where they can do more surgery. Five nights of chemo, wait 2 weeks, more chemo as outpatient. Four cycles of this, assess, decide on more chemo or surgery or ????

Wife went to see him alone today, so I can smoke some pork and get work around house done before we take him home. I'd prefer not to run in to that security guard again. Will see him tonight or maybe just tomorrow.

 

[navychop]

Its private property, so LEGALLY they could bar you, however, as a practical matter, that would be the 1st place I have ever heard of that has done so.

.......

What I would suggest to preclude you from having this problem again is to call the hospital, ask to speak to the Administrator (what the CEO of a hospital is called) and inform them of the incident. In most cases, security is a contracted function of a hospital and the people they hire are not officers of the law, much less know what is legal and what is not. By informing the hospital, they can contact the security firm and let them know that they should clean up their act. They cannot fix what they do not know about, right?

We got a pass from the ward for yesterday and today. Will get one for tomorrow. The incident was observed by a receptionist (or nurse?) who appeared to roll her eyes at the guy's behavior. I was VERY polite to her, offering to "sign in" or anything she wanted. She just called up to the ward and cleared me. Which is all Mr. Security Guard was supposed to do. I don't wish him harm, I just prefer to not see him again. It wasn't that big of an issue.

Funny thing is, when we left, there was no one at the entrance desk. As we left, a couple asked us how to get to the emergency room from that end of the hospital. We couldn't help them. They went inside and started calling out loudly for someone to come help them. We waited until someone came (fairly quickly once they got loud). Guess who appeared?

Anyway, my MiL has survived over 20 years of both colon and liver cancer. That's got to be a small number of people who can say that. And the initial diagnosis was by chance.

 

[Mike0616]

Hang in there and will be praying for your son.

 

[Rey]

i hope your son gets better and is able to go home real soon.

 

[navychop]

Thank you for the support.

Probably come home with us tomorrow. Our Thanksgiving meal is sked for Saturday, when most of the family will be able to join us. His natural father and step mother will come into town to visit on Friday, and we'll host a big meal then also. Between 9 & 12 for Friday night's meal, 12+ Saturday. Still not sure what he'll be able to eat either day. He's getting these strawberry "super shakes" that pump a lot of calories into him. Got to ask if we can get those to keep pouring in him.

We understand that in about 3 weeks his hair will start to fall out. Others have told us (haven't confirmed this with the doctor) that later doses will be stronger, and that's when the nausea will kick in big time. He should be back to normal, near full strength, in about 4 years (rough est from someone who went thru it). Hard to say, since some of the tumors are so big (2 are over 5").

People we know, but didn't know had this kind of cancer, are popping out of the woodwork. He'll have plenty of people to talk to.

 

[jayn_j]

He's getting these strawberry "super shakes" that pump a lot of calories into him. Got to ask if we can get those to keep pouring in him.

We understand that in about 3 weeks his hair will start to fall out.

The brand they used for Cindy was Ensure. It is available at the local market in a half dozen flavors..

The hair should be the least of the worries, especially for a guy. Most guys in chemo with Cindy would simply shave their head. The nausea was an issue, but the bigger one was fatigue. 2 days after chemo was the worst day and we would never plan anything for that day.

 

[navychop]

Thanks for the info. He's tired a lot now. Says he gets tired during the administration of the drugs.

He has great, thick black hair. And he hates it. He plans to get a crew cut immediately, probably shave it off before it falls out, just like a friend of mine did.