Letter to charley

sA :: Shaggy

SatelliteGuys Pro
Original poster
Sep 18, 2005
1,102
0
5701 S Santa Fe Dr
I'm in high school and we have to write a business letter to a person/ company... I would love to hear some helpful criticism on my letter before I send it out (this Friday). thank you all for any help and i hope that this letter is not moved... don't forget 1 letter equals 1000 emails... Also the adress for charley is in it so if you feel the need to send him one go ahead its public information... thank you

August 25, 2006

Charles W. Ergen
9601 S. Meridian Blvd
Englewood CO, 80112

Dear Mr. Charles W. Ergen:

I have been a customer since 1997, and have loved the service that you provide to me. At this time you give great programming packages and solid equipment at a relatively low rate. I dropped cable television (still have high speed internet) and have never looked back, until now.

I am worried about the direction Dish Network is headed. There are many new and reoccurring issues that are hurting the company. Such as the Tivo lawsuit, loss of distant locals, upgrades and other services that comes with MPEG4, and finally the almost non existsance of encryption on your broadcast.

I and many others feel that you have taken a golden opportunity to fix many issues and have chosen not to. This hurts faith in you and Dish Network. I feel that MPEG4 was your chance to change the encryption (from Nagravision, which was hacked before the rom cards even got to the customers) to something that was worth all the money the customer ends up paying. You have not done this. With the issue of Tivo, I too feel you are not in violation of patients but apparently the courts do. At this time our DVR boxes might be turned off and have to pay Tivo nearly ninety million dollars. In this situation I feel that you (Echostar Communications) should buy out Tivo. This would ensure that our service isn’t interrupted and you still end up making money.

Please respond with what you are doing to stop these issues from continuing and also how you intend to fix them. I thank you again for the service you provide me and my family but I might have to end our relationship if these issues are not fixed.

Sincerely,



MY name
Address
 
There are many new and reoccurring issues that are hurting the company. Such as the Tivo lawsuit, loss of distant locals, upgrades and other services that comes with MPEG4, and finally the almost non existsance of encryption on your broadcast.

no period between sentences.. it would be a continuation

"hurting the company such as"

otherwise pretty good :)
 
thanks for that, Im glad it gets the ICE stamp lol... is there anything i should add or cut out in your opinions. also plzz write your own letters, i think it will help. Or not... but it took me 20min to write so its not a lot of time.
 
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John Kotches said:
It's not joining two sentences, so a semi-colon is not appropriate.

Comma yes, semi-colon no.

hurting the company, such as


I thought a colon : would be what joins two sentences?
 
Neutron said:
I thought a colon : would be what joins two sentences?

ok to end this...
Colon :) )

* Punctuation used to introduce explanatory information such as tabulations, lists, etc.; for salutations, as 'Dear so-and-so'; in clock time (e.g. 2:15); for periodical reference (e.g. 4:3); and between book title and book subtitle (e.g. Dictionaries: The Art and Craft of Lexicography).
* A colon is used before a final clause that explains or amplifies something in that sentence, e.g. The dissertation needs work: it lacks flow.
* A colon introduces a series or summarizing statement, e.g. The following is on our list of places to go: grocery store, toy store, doughnut shop., She had one great love: him.
* A colon is used in proportions, e.g. 2:1, and as a ratio sign, e.g. 1:2::3:6.
* A colon may introduce a quotation, especially a long one. Colons go outside quotation marks unless they are part of the quotation itself. A colon also is used to end all paragraphs that introduce a paragraph of quoted material.
* A colon is used in dialogue text, e.g. Kyle: Do you want to have lunch? Holly: Yes.
* A colon is used in correspondence for headings and introductory terms, e.g. To:, From:, Re: and to separate writer/typist and carbon-copy abbreviations from the recipients.
* A colon can give emphasis, e.g. He had only one hobby: eating.
* Capitalize the first word after a colon only if it is a proper noun or starts a complete sentence, e.g. Scientists have found a name for the opposite of gravity: levity. The panel consists of: Dr. Juli, Dr. Kipfer, and Dr. Bellantoni.
* Do not combine a dash and a colon.

Comma ( ,)

Punctuation most commonly used to separate or set off items as:

* Separate items that might otherwise be misunderstood, e.g. What the problem is, is not clear.
* Separate members of a series used with 'and', 'or', or 'nor', e.g. The flag is red, white, and blue.
* Separate main clauses or before the conjunction in a compound sentence, e.g. Either you start doing more work, or you will have to look for a new job. She was glad she had looked before backing out, for a child just whizzed by on the sidewalk.
* Separate two verb phrases in a sentence, e.g. She did earn a Master's, but now she is going to go on and earn a Ph.D.
* Set off subordinate clauses/phrases within sentence, e.g. On the street, the partygoers gathered for the fireworks.
* Set off an apposite (noun referring to previous noun, e.g. my sister, Nancy) or contrasting words/phrases (e.g. I need you, not anyone else.).
* Set off introductory items, clauses, or phrases, e.g. "Sir, are you listening?".
* Set off interrupting or parenthetic items, e.g. He has no reason, does he, to want to play basketball for that coach?
* Before a quotation following an introductory phrase, e.g. "She said quietly, "I love you." Inside a closing quotation mark, e.g. I said "wash," not "drawer." Commas always go inside quotation marks in American English usage.
* To show omission of a verb or predicate, e.g. Brad Pitt once worked as a giant chicken; Rod Stewart, as a gravedigger; Whoopi Goldberg, as a makeup artist in a mortuary.
* Between compound qualifiers / equal adjectives, e.g. He has big, broad shoulders.
* Between name and title, title and organization, name and degree, surname and Junior/Jr./Senior/Sr. In an inverted name, e.g. Kipfer, Barbara Ann.
* To separate thousands, millions, etc. in numbers of four or more digits, e.g. 2,000.
* To set off the day of the month, e.g. They got together on June 1, 1991, for the first time. To set off elements of an address, e.g. Write to him at The Language Centre, University of Exeter, Exeter, England EX4 4QH.
* After the salutation in informal correspondence, e.g. Dear T.B., and after the complimentary close in all correspondence, e.g. Respectfully,.
* To separate states and nations used with city names, e.g. LaPorte, Indiana.
* To set off yes and no, e.g. No, I will not be there

Semicolon (; )

Punctuation sometimes regarded as a weak period or strong comma and used in ways similar to periods and commas. A semicolon can mark the end of a clause and indicate that a clause following is closely related to the previous clause. A semicolon can also divide a sentence to make meaning clearer. A semicolon is placed outside quotation marks and parentheses. Uses are:

* Separates (but also links) independent clauses in place of a coordinating conjunction or ellipsis, e.g. The package was due last week; it arrived today.
* Separates (and links) independent clauses when the second clause begins with a conjunctive adverb such as: accordingly, all the same, also, as a result, besides, by the same token, consequently, furthermore, hence, however, indeed, in that case, likewise, moreover, nevertheless, on the other hand, otherwise, still, then, therefore, and thus. These usually explain or summarize preceding matter or show some kind of transition, e.g. We organized enough work for the rest of the summer; therefore, I can plod ahead.
* Clarifies meaning in long sentences and in those with several commas. The indication of a strong pause by the semicolon helps the reader understand the meaning.
* May be used before explanation phrases and clauses as: e.g., for example, for instance, i.e., namely, that is - e.g. She is highly qualified for the job; for example, she has worked for more than twenty years as a writer and editor.
* Separates lists or phrases in a series when the phrases themselves have commas, e.g. We visited Springfield, Massachusetts; Keene, New Hampshire; and Durham, New Hampshire.

INFORMATION FROM Dictionary.com
 
Last edited:
I will be the first to admit that writing is not my thing. :D

That's what the word processor was invented for.
 
Here is a fully corrected version. Also, it's "Charlie", not "Charley."

sA :: Shaggy said:
August 25, 2006

Charles W. Ergen
9601 S. Meridian Blvd
Englewood CO, 80112

Dear Mr. Charles W. Ergen:

I have been a customer since 1997 and have loved the service that you provide to me. At this time, you provide great programming packages and solid equipment at a relatively low rate. I dropped cable television (still have high speed internet) and have never looked back, until now.

I am worried about the direction Dish Network is headed. There are many new and recurring issues that are hurting the company, such as the Tivo lawsuit, loss of distant locals, upgrades and other services that come with MPEG4, and the almost non-existence of encryption on your broadcast.

I, and many others, feel that you have missed a golden opportunity to fix many issues. This hurts faith in you and Dish Network. I feel that MPEG4 was your chance to change the encryption (from Nagravision, which was hacked before the rom cards even got to the customers) to something that was worth all the money the customer ends up paying. You have not done this. With the issue of Tivo, I too feel you are not in violation of patents but apparently the courts do. At this time, our DVR boxes might be turned off, and you have to pay Tivo nearly $90 million. In this situation, I feel that you (Echostar Communications) should buy Tivo. This would ensure that our service is not interrupted, and you still end up making money.

Please respond with what you are doing to stop these issues from continuing and also how you intend to fix them. I thank you again for the service you provide my familyand I but I may have to end our relationship if these issues are not fixed.

Sincerely,



MY name
Address
 
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sA :: Shaggy said:
realy thats not what cnn money said... but thanks. ill fix it,

CNN Money said, "Charley"? I'd like to see that. I have never seen anyone spell their name like that, and he definitely does not. That's why they have "Charlie Chat," not "Charley Chat."
 
I would also change the first line ...

" I have been a customer since 1997 and have loved the service that you provide to me. " does not read correctly ..

either ...

I have been a customer since 1997 and have loved the service that you have provided me with so far.

Maybe even lose the (me with)

or

I have been a customer since 1997 and love the service that you provide to me.

again could also lose the (to me)


seems to read better ... but I'm no English guru ;)

edit : to lose the looseness of my spelling.
 
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Great job and hope it wakes him up and realize this is what is wrong with the company.I hope he wins the lawsuits that he has going on because the networks are making enough money off us and all it is with the networks as other big businesses is greed and hell with the consumer.
 
jokeworm said:
I would also change the first line ...

" I have been a customer since 1997 and have loved the service that you provide to me. " does not read correctly ..

either ...

I have been a customer since 1997 and have loved the service that you have provided me with so far.

Maybe even loose the (me with)

or

I have been a customer since 1997 and love the service that you provide to me.

seems to read better ... but I'm no English guru ;)

Since we're on the subject, you can't "loose" something. You can "lose" something but you cannot "loose" it. It's always good to make sure your grammar is correct when giving grammatical advice. :)

Otherwise, you are correct. The best sentence would be:

"I have been a customer since 1997 and love the service you provide."
 
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jokeworm said:
As i said - i'm no English guru ...
I'll leave that to you ...

Actually, you were very correct other than that one word. It's always good to condense a sentence into something more concise.
 
The only thing I remember from my high school senior English class was this: "A lot is two words." :)
 
chaddux said:
Actually, you were very correct other than that one word. It's always good to condense a sentence into something more concise.


Spelling was never my strong point ... and something about dogs and tricks and being old seems to always get in my way ...

If I correct it today - I'll be back to my old tricks by tomorrow morning .. a good sleep tends to reformat my brain overnight these days.

;)

:eek: :eek:
 
jokeworm said:
Spelling was never my strong point ... and something about dogs and tricks and being old seems to always get in my way ...

If I correct it today - I'll be back to my old tricks by tomorrow morning .. a good sleep tends to reformat my brain overnight these days.

;)

:eek: :eek:

Now, let's correct your sentences...just kidding. ;)
 
thank you guys soo much... this is really helping... i remember freshman math i used to tell my teacher "i hate numbers theres like to many of them" (from beavis and butthead lol
 

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