Pop Star and Alleged Child Molester To Purchase Satellite Service from Cablevision
Neverland, Ca.--(BUSINESS WIRE)--Jan. 31, 2005--Michael Jackson (NASDAQ: CANDYPOCKETS) announced today that he has agreed to purchase the Voom satellite service from Rainbow DBS Co., a subsidiary of Cablevision Systems Corporation (NYSE: CVC), for $72 million and a monkey named Daryl.
Specifically, Jackson has agreed to purchase all Voom programming and Voom's development, sales, and distribution operations. The sale includes the continuation of service to over 30,000 current Voom customers.
"It will be a seamless transition for Voom customers," said Jackson. "The only difference will be a couple of new channels."
When probed for further information on the new channels, Jackson giggled softly and touched his genitals.
A spokesperson for Cablevision indicated that one of the new channels will be "WildChild" -- a high definition channel dedicated to adult/child relationship themed programming. Another channel mentioned during discussions between the two parties was "PlasticHD" -- a high definition channel that examines "the glory and the gory" of plastic surgery.
An industry insider, speaking on condition of anonymity, speculates that Jackson's purchase of Voom may be an attempt at concealing millions of dollars within a flailing enterprise in order to avoid massive liability in potential civil suits relating to his child molestation charges. Not true, say Jackson's camp. "He just likes sparkly things."
The transaction is subject to review by the Federal Communications Commission and other regulatory agencies.
Neverland, Ca.--(BUSINESS WIRE)--Jan. 31, 2005--Michael Jackson (NASDAQ: CANDYPOCKETS) announced today that he has agreed to purchase the Voom satellite service from Rainbow DBS Co., a subsidiary of Cablevision Systems Corporation (NYSE: CVC), for $72 million and a monkey named Daryl.
Specifically, Jackson has agreed to purchase all Voom programming and Voom's development, sales, and distribution operations. The sale includes the continuation of service to over 30,000 current Voom customers.
"It will be a seamless transition for Voom customers," said Jackson. "The only difference will be a couple of new channels."
When probed for further information on the new channels, Jackson giggled softly and touched his genitals.
A spokesperson for Cablevision indicated that one of the new channels will be "WildChild" -- a high definition channel dedicated to adult/child relationship themed programming. Another channel mentioned during discussions between the two parties was "PlasticHD" -- a high definition channel that examines "the glory and the gory" of plastic surgery.
An industry insider, speaking on condition of anonymity, speculates that Jackson's purchase of Voom may be an attempt at concealing millions of dollars within a flailing enterprise in order to avoid massive liability in potential civil suits relating to his child molestation charges. Not true, say Jackson's camp. "He just likes sparkly things."
The transaction is subject to review by the Federal Communications Commission and other regulatory agencies.
