You know you're a newbie when...

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you have climbed up and down a ladder for more than two months adjusting your dish hundreds of times and your knees hurt!

(guys, please add your funny ones!)
 
. . . come here for advice, and then ignore it! - :eek:

I once told a real nice newbie to:

- get a reasonable sized dish (36-40"). He got bought a 4' for his first Ku dish but didn't upgrade his motor!
- mount it on the ground to get used to dialing in the adjustments. He mounted it to the peak of his roof.
Then due to the heat, he could only work on it in the dark of the night - doh!
- buy a reasonable starter DVB receiver. He did, but also got a 4Dtv to overcomplicate his life.
 
Tune up a fixed dish - pat myself on back for job well done - put all tools and equipment away.
Proceed to watch desired program until the wind comes up. Dish swings off of sat. DUH!
Or admire installation, while slowly walking backwards, and tripping on "fat air". BTDT
"When a person missteps and trips on a seemingly invisible object. It is theorized that the person may have actually ran afoul of a pocket of air denser than the surrounding air." Urban Dictionary
 
You wonder why the company you bought from didn't provide instructions advising you to adjust the LNB settings on the receiver to match the LNB! :rant:
 
:D

... When you ask whether you can use your old D* and/or E* equipment for FTA.

... When you have to ask what D* and E* mean...

... When a thread like this gets posted in the general area instead of the FTA Shack :p ;) ...
 
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... When you align your dish using signal strength rather than Quality and you blindscan at highest signal but zero quality.
 
you believe what an "installer" tells you about what receiver is best out there....only to find out he sells that model (and only that brand) ;)
 
...when you go cannot get things working right and you go on a rampage and whack up a perfectly good dish... a.k.a. going "techfizzle" :eek:
 
When you mount you nice PrimeStar dish on a tripod onto plywood in the driveway and forget to put the cinder blocks on it. Then during a thunder storm it blow into the corn field and while rolling across the stone driveway, rips the arm off the dish. No damage to Invacom LNBF though, still using it.
 
When you mount you nice PrimeStar dish on a tripod onto plywood in the driveway and forget to put the cinder blocks on it. Then during a thunder storm it blow into the corn field and while rolling across the stone driveway, rips the arm off the dish. No damage to Invacom LNBF though, still using it.

:eek:!!!...




:eureka This is a thread for noobies...

maybe we need one for boobies!!! :D

(blunders that is! ;))

We all have had our moments! :eek:
 
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