I got this email from a friend of mine, and I thought it fit this thread perfectly.
TO: GOD
>
> FROM: THE DOG
>
> Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?
>
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> Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one
> another?
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> Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the
> same old story?
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> Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang,
> the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often
> do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard
> to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?
>
>
>
> Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is
> he still a bad Dog?
>
>
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> Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals,
> whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields,
> and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
>
>
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> Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
>
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> Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
>
> _________________________________
> Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to
> be a good Dog.
>
>
>
> 1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
>
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> 2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the
> way they smell.
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> 3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
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> 4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
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> 5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff..
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> 6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
>
>
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> 7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying
> 'hello'.
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> 8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table .
>
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> 9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not
> after.
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> 10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
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> 11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
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> 12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that
> noise, it's usually not a good thing.
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> P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
> LOVE,
> ME