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As I sit here contemplating this post, I wonder if I really might need therapy. I mean, FTA is an addictive hobby, but I think I might have taken things a bit far this morning... 9/10 of a mile TOO far. Where to begin? I guess I should begin at the beginning.

It all started seven hours ago. I was on my way home from a late night feast at Taco Bell. I was going to head home and get some work done on the computer. It was about 11:00 p.m. Central, and I was on the last leg of my trip home through the 'burbs. Then I saw it. What was it? IT was an eight-foot Paraclipse dish, abandoned for the trash along with piles of shrubbery (Confederate Jasmine vines, to be exact) and an old chain-link fence.

To give some background on this particular dish, I've had my eyes on it for a couple of years now. It was mounted in a backyard near the fence. I've watched as the vines took hold on the fence, then on the dish. From time to time, I've been tempted to ask the owner if I could have the dish, but never got around to it. Besides, I'm not very keen about knocking on a stranger's door and going through that whole process.

Well, tonight as I passed the house, I noticed the fence, vines, and DISH were GONE! I quickly looked around, and saw the pile of debris put out for the garbage. On came the brakes (actually, I had to go around the block and come back), and I parked, got out, and surveyed the situation. The dish was sandwiched in between vines and fence, a real mess to be sure. After about an hour of untangling and breaking vines and fence material, I got the dish out. Buttonhook was bent at a 90 degree angle. Mesh was in rather poor condition, both from the vines and from tearing the dish down. The dish frame itself was in good shape, no corrosion, and still very shiny I made the decision that this dish was going to be saved.

I drove home (9/10 of a mile from where the dish was) to pick up some tools. Grabbed a socket set and a very large, high-torque adjustable wrench, and drove back. First thing I did was to remove the feedhorn/LNB assembly. Chaparral feedhorn with an Echostar 25 degree C-band LNB and polarotor. Nothing special, but I took that first. Next step was to remove the heavy part, which is, of course, the actuator assembly. I dreaded this, thinking the bolts would be rusted frozen. However, with a bit of effort, I managed to loosen one bolt with the high-torque wrench which allowed me to remove the entire actuator assembly. That went in the trunk of the car, along with the feedhorn.

Now for the dish itself. No way was this dish going to fit IN the car. I thought about on top, but I was worried about the weight (the thing was still very heavy) and the car paint job. I had my cell phone on me, and called friends with access to pickup trucks. Nobody awake. NO WAY am I going to let this dish go into the back of a garbage truck (not sure it would have fit anyway...) So I did the only thing I could do... drove home with the car, and walked back to the dish site on foot. The plan was to "roll" the dish home, staying on grass along the shoulder of the road wherever possible.

Walking back to the dish from home took about 20 minutes, no big deal. But the walk home would be much longer, much harder, and much more challenging. It was VERY hot and humid, as it always is down here. When I left home it was about 1:30 a.m. When I got back to the dish, it was 10 till 2. I started rolling it down the street, one block at a time, stopping periodically to catch my breath. This thing was still very heavy, and it took elbow grease to keep it rolling straight. I kept running into low hanging trees, street signs, traffic signs, and street lights. In many cases, there was no grass, only concrete. I had to roll it across the concrete, which made WAY too much noise for that time of night, with people trying to sleep. Finally, I got it home. It was 2:30 a.m. Not bad. Then I noticed something. No standard mount! The mount for the dish was still back there, on the pole, and that had to be retrieved!

I grabbed the large wrench and drove back again, fearing the worse... that the bolts would be frozen to the pole, which I would never be able to pick up and put in the car (it probably weighed at least 500 pounds with the concrete). Fortunately, the bolts came loose rather easily, and I was able to put the mount into the trunk of my car. This mount is a square "tube", about four feet long, which bolts on over the pipe which is cemented into the ground. At the top of this square tube is an angled, pivoting mount that attaches to the actuator assembly. Without these parts, I would never be able to get the dish working properly.

Whew! Well, if you read this far, I hope it was an enjoyable little story. Now I've gotta get some sleep Hopefully I can post some pics tomorrow....

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........