I lost my Dad, then about 15 years later, my Mom.
But at least I wasn't put through the wringer you were, sitting bedside waiting for the end.
Still, it took about two years for me to get back to normal, after each passed.
Now, I remember them fondly, and mention each from time to time.
They stamped their personalities on us, and made us who we are.
I'm sure we are the better for their influence. - :up
In a month or two, try to focus on friends, projects, your pets, maybe even FTA, or anything to keep busy.
For the first couple of months, I have no words.
Actually, to be honest, I think it was better that I was there through the whole ordeal. And especially her last moments.
I was there for her to the very end and I know she would appreciate that and want it that way.
And in a way that I can't explain, it makes things a tiny bit easier for me that I was there rather than off somewhere else only to get told about her passing.
I just can't explain it.. No one should ever have to go through this but eventually we all do. It's always painful, there is no escaping that.. :cry:
Right now family is making plans to come down, it looks like we are going to have the funeral on Saturday. My son is staying with my dad for the rest of the week and he's being a big help right now, and he's there keeping my dad company so he isn't sitting there all alone. I can't be there around the clock.
We had lunch today and talked about lots of things. I asked my dad to let me take Mom's plants so that I can keep them going for her, Dad doesn't know anything about them except they need to be tended with a weedeater. Mom loved her plants, Dad couldn't stand them. So he was asking me what other things I wanted and I told him not to worry about it right now, let's focus on taking care of her funeral and all that stuff and we'll worry about her things in the future.
Mom was also into doll houses, she has several of them all over the house and they are VERY expensive. I need to make room for those. Dad didn't care for those either. And so on...
I guess this week I'm going to work on getting her plants over here, fortunately they are all in clay pots so we can move them but OMG, there's a LOT of them. We figure at least FOUR VAN LOADS worth. That is a lot of back breaking work. I've got to get them here asap so I can care for them before they croak.
Next week after the funeral I don't know what I'm going to do. It's hard to sit here and think about life without my mom.
I feel lost... :cry:
We lost my dad to cancer in April and found out my mom has pancreatic cancer in early September. Mom has been in the hospital since last week and is coming home tomorrow. Hospice is involved so we as yet don't know how long she has left. It's tough seeing your folks getting older and not the folks you always remember. Love them just the same, one day the memories are all we will have left. Dee, my heart goes out to you..I know its tough but hang in there. Our thoughts and prayers are with you!...Blind
Thank you so much.
I am so sorry for your loss and I am so sorry that your mom is so sick..
I lost an aunt to pancreas stuff though I don't recall if it was cancer, I just know it was her pancreas was involved. Seeing how Steve Jobs (love him or hate him) went downhill, it's a terrible way to go. Spend all the time you can with your mom now and take a lot of photos. Once they are gone, it's too late. I wish I had taken more pictures of my mom and of my friend who passed away last year. Some people will balk and grouse if you point a camera at them but ignore them and do it anyway. You'll be glad you did one day. And if you can do it, get some videos. Videos with her voice.. You'll find yourself longing to hear her voice and when you can't, it really, really hurts. So if you can have a video, that can help.. Right now I'm kicking myself for erasing a message my mom left on my answering machine last week. I would give anything to be able to recover those few seconds of her voice... :cry:
Now I have to buy another digital picture frame for what I call my "Wall of Woe".. I have one wall in my bedroom with two large digital picture frames and little knick knacks. For my BFF who passed away on April 23, 2010 and my German Shepherd that I had to have put to sleep on November 17, 2010. Now I have to put one up for Mom and put little things up there that she gave me over the years. Stuff to connect the memories.
There is no easy way to deal with losing a loved one. Losing a parent, that's just so f****d up on every level... :cry:
you guys...
